HI ALL!,
I've been looking at all the before and after pics on here, and wow! what an inspiration! I am 23 born in Texas, now in Cali. About 2 years ago I was at my thinnest ever. I weighed in at 5'9 135, and now I'm about 223! 100 lbs in 2 years?!?! yeah. Amongst other things, I was depressed, and my fiance was recovering from 3 intense knee surgeries. We had workers comp financially supporting us, and we pretty much watched TV and ate. At that time I was more insecure than I am now even at the weight I was. I didn't even notice myself slowly gaining weight, it was like one day I woke up and I was in some strangers body. That came with crazy depression, and trying to get a job at the same time. I was a wreck! I've finnaly woken up and am over the whole "Feeling sorry for myself" bit. I want to be happy!!!! And I'm simply not. I don't know, I'm sure there are other people out there that feel the same way I do; I think about my weight every MINUTE OF THE DAY!!!! I'm being literal! It seams like a waste of time, but you can't really tell your brain how to think, and your emotions how to feel, right? So I started a cabbage woup diet last week, and each day walked 30+ mins. I lost 3 lbs! yay, 7 days with only healthy foods?!? I thought "YUCK." Now I've noticed, I actually like these healthier foods, and they make me feel less sluggish. I used to be told how beautiful I was on a daily basis. I don't hear that anymore. I hear "you have pretty eyes" oh great! HAHAHA thanks! I want to be the girl I was again...and guess what (to all the people, if any that read this) I AM GOING TO DO IT $&#*@!!!!! I will love the way I look again!!!!!! RAHH!





http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...OXj/weight.png

welcome!! i am pretty new here too, but i've already found a lot of support here. it's really amazing. i know what you mean when you say you feel like you woke up one day in a strangers body. last summer i was a size 12 (not my smallest ever, but smallest since i had 3 kids!) and now i'm barely squeezing into a 17! i think about my weight constantly too. you would think that would make it easier to make smart choices, but it doesn't always for me. anyway, you've made a great decision and that's the first step... good luck!!!

Welcome to journaling and best of luck to you!

Hey sweetie, what types of foods have you been eating since you started your weight loss plan? Keep us posted on what you're doing, whether bad or good. Hopefully we can be of some help in getting that excess weight off.

Well here goes an update. If i didn't like to drink, I would have no problems with weight. I have been eating very well: tuna fish for lunch, salad for dinner....but then!!!!!!!!!!!!! whisky and diet coke. not just one, no no no two three yeah probably more like 4. Then i go to bed, wake up and hate myself. I'm going to try not to drink much anymore. I'm not an alcoholic, I just have an oral fixation, I was drinking huge jugs of ice water, which i need to return to. I have motivation, but I also have a bit of depression due to my fiance. I came home from work early one day and he was, well watching some porno, and ya know, that other thing that goes along with it. I know many females don't mind pornos in the house, but I call it a form of cheating. We don't get intimate, because I won't let him touch me anymore. (because of the weight gain, nothing else) I just don't feel attractive. So now we are constantly fighting with eachother, and alcohol never helps the situation. So i dunno, hopefully my mood changes fast enough, and I can get back to focusing on other things. But today is friday, and my boyfrined works tomorrow, so I get a Hayley day!! woohoo!!

Hayley, you definitely have a lot of challenges facing you. Just remember that every mountain, even Mt. Everest, is climbed one step at a time. So you may want to start with steps you can accomplish. For example, cutting out the drinking is a great idea. Each whiskey after all, not only does nothing for your body, but also is 110 calories.

Also, is there any way you can work out in a gym nearby? I only suggest that because it would be time away from the house, which seems to have a lot of stressors for you. Even if you start off by walking on a treadmill, if you make it a habit, you eventually will start feeling much better about yourself.

Ok...so Since January I've lost 25lbs...I'm actually under 200 now...wooooooo freakin hooooooooo!!!!!!!!! So...even better than loosing the weight...is my legs...I've always had pretty nice legs...but now since going to the gym everyday....they are...*cough* HOT....lol...and my arms are looking good too....but my midsection hasn't seemed to change...I know thats probably the last part to change...but come on now...I'm looking disporportionate...The relationship with my fiance is great now...and he is now going to the gym with me....(he looks at himself in the mirror and flexes) I can only laugh....lol...dork!...I only drink on weekends now...and even then not a lot. I wish this was a faster process, but I want to take some pictures every week so I can see the difference....cause I don't feel like I lost 25lbs, but I do know I can go on the elliptical for 40 mins with a 14 resistance setting, and make it!!! YAY...We climbed half dome in Yosemite National Park a few months ago...Making it to the top of that is soooooooooooo rewarding...thats about 8 miles round trip up a monsterous mountain. Anyway...Thanks for the comments...I think by next summer I will be at my goal (150) I'm 5'9 so thats a healthy weight. I miss surfing...just won't get in a swimsuit. Not even around my family...and thats funny...because there are tons of people BIGGER than me, and will wear freakin bikinis....it's not pretty..but it's that courage (or lack of reality) that I admire. OK talking too much...blah...love!

Here is my myspace if anyone wants to see me...They most recent picture is with the 4 girls on the right...I'm the auburn headed chik second from the left. MySpace.com - *Hayley&NATE* - 25 - Female - South Oceanside, California - www.myspace.com/haleyniccole6683