And so continues my life journey. That's the thing, it always continues, tomorrow always comes, its just up to me to make the best out of today. I have realized that whatever I do today, the actions that I choose to take have the power to greatly affect how my tomorrow plays out. I have great plans for my tomorrow (aka: the future) and my past has been less than fantastic. But I deserve to have a fantastic life, I deserve to wake up everyday with an excitement about what that day will bring. Lately I've been waking up with more of a "here we go again, do I really have to get up?" feeling. Its all in my attitude. I grew up struggling with my weight. In elementary school I was the "fat girl" so early on I started to blame everything negative on my weight, this negative attitude, in turn did not produce anything good in my life. I have since then worked on my inner self, gained tons of insight into my emotions, I'm a psychology major for God's sake! Yet here I am again. And so my story up until this point can serve as a testament to how, it's not that simple. We all understand this. When behaviors and thought patterns are so deeply engrained into our being, its a struggle and it takes continuous, minute to minute, effort to turn it around.The catalyst of my recent descent back into old behavior and thought patterns is irrelevant. All that matters is that here I am again. I don't want to be here again. I want this to be the last time! I thought I threw it away, I thought I started fresh, I thought it was over. But here I am. So what's the lesson? Hmmm.... I'm not sure. I guess maybe I've been looking at my life in absolute terms. Such as, "I am thin and fit, therefore I can be happy, people like me and life is good" and "I have gained weight, my life is out of control, I am not accepted and life is bad". Yes, actually now that I look at it, that is how i've been thinking. I'm actually quite absolute in my thinking. But life doesn't happen like that. Life is a continuous stream of experiences, moment to moment, it keeps going and it keeps changing. Life, yours and mine, is also highly shaped by perspective, clearly my perspective has been less than helpful. Wow, I'm really on a tangent now! That's just how I roll. I guess I should sum up my introspective ramble. To all of you who read this, maybe you get something out of it, maybe you don't. I find it helpful to get my thoughts out, on paper mostly, but throwing them out into this community feels good. But what will I take from the insight I have discovered? It's about the moment. Its about extinguishing my pattern of absolute thinking. I've tried before and I'll try again, because these moments are my moments, the moment of my life.

I've taken my absolute thinking and used it for me - you can too.

You're a sharp girl, it's clear by your writing. What you need is application in my opinion.

Welcome to WLF

Thanks for your response T2! You are absolutely right, I just need application. How did you make your absolute thinking work for you?

What's your weight loss plan? Without one of those none of the whys or the hows matter. Wishing you best of luck on whichever plan you choose to get things going!

Blancita,

I don't follow any type of plan like Weight Watchers or anything. I have a great understanding of exercise and nutrition. So I try to eat healthy, drink lots of water, eat lots of fruit and veggies, good lean protein and limit my intake of anything refined, processed or anything with extra sugar. As for exercise, I am on an interval training plan at my gym. It is a mix of interval cardio workouts and both upper body and lower body strength training. I am also trying to increase my leisure activity. I also want to start going for walk/jogs a few times a week. My problem has always been with binge eating. I have binge eating disorder. Because of this, the how and the why are the most important to me. Living a healthy lifestyle is not a foreign concept to me, sticking with the healthy lifestyle and not falling into old patterns of behavior is something I still need to work on.

I pondered all my life's woah's over a bottle of Absolut Vodka and the answers came me


Really, I visualized my problems and saw my new me and followed my vision through a promise of not steering off course.

Share some stats about yourself. You're amongst friends here, help us help you.

That sounds like an excellent plan, glad you're on the ball with exercise and good food (sure better than some commercial plan like WW IMHO). Have you figured out a plan yet regarding getting the binging under control or is that what you're on here pondering? I thought what you said about extinguishing your absolutest thoughts was definitely a good start.