Soooo, I thought that maybe I should start logging in a diary to get some motivation for my weight loss. I am female, 23, 5'7, and around 260 pounds. I have been heavy my entire life and have never had any success losing weight. My dream weight would be to get to 130-140, but realistically I think around 170 would make me happy. I have gained about 75 pounds in the past 2 years alone, and feel very out of control.

One of the things that has been really hard for me is dealing with the fact that I have an eating disorder, I have been a binger my entire life, and although I am getting help for it, it is still a constant battle in my life. I dont eat that much at meals, or over eat, its just the extra calories i consume during my binges that make me gain the weight. I guess I am writing this because I feel really frustrated right now. I dont know if I am truly capable of losing weight, I have no evidence to prove otherwise.

For a while I was looking into LAP band surgery, but realized it was just another rash decision on my part to get a quick fix, and in the end, i really dont want to have those permenant changes to my body for the rest of my life. I dont like to wait for things to happen, I like insant gratification, and its really hard for my to think that i can work at losing weight for a year +, it seems like such a long time.

I have missed out on a lot of things in my life because of my weight, and I dont want to wait to start my life any longer. I want to be happy and feel beautiful.

I need encouragment and support, I need to believe that I can do this and that I have the inner strenght and determination to see this through.

Just think of it like this. This time next year, you'll be a LOT lighter, and you'll look and feel amazing! Let that be an inspiration and motivation for you.

Good luck, you can do it!!!

I have just finished my first week of the couch to 5k program and its amazing, tonight dare i say it felt slightly good! My heart rate didnt even get too high, yay!!