hellooooo again. today's my rest day so naturally i'm back out going shopping! what else is a girl to do? haha, i'm going to buy some more athletic shorts to wear to the gym... cover up my thighs a bit more than the shorts i have now. wayyy too short if you ask me

breakfast was a bowl of kashi cereal with 2% milk, lunch was cauliflower curry with peas and a whole wheat tortilla and mango pulp (YUM). just had a bit of watermelon. snack will be a fruit smoothie and dinner will be grilled lemon thyme chicken breast with lots of veggies.

i LOVE eating healthy. i have absolutely no urge to eat anything unhealthy, and i am SO glad for that! my mom is making salisbury steaks for everyone else for dinner, and she was begging me to eat it but i said NO. quite emphatically.

miss muffet

just got back from the gym. today was upper body, and my arms feel like jello right now i'm eating some watermelon and will fix lunch in about 45 minutes.

i discovered michael buble today. i was watching music videos this morning and his video for "everything" came on, and i have fallen in love with the song. i'm listening to it on repeat and dancing around the house, despite being drained from half an hour of swimming laps.

can't wait for my little ticker to start moving. i want that fishy to swim across the ocean quick as it can!

i'm keeping track of what i eat on paper, which makes it easier for me to quickly write down what i'm eating as i'm eating it. still going strong with the workouts, and i can't imagine what i'd be doing without my personal trainer. he is AMAZING and motivates me to keep going when all i want to do is quit and go home thursday i'll weigh myself, as that'll be a week since i've started. until then... i remain

miss muffet

(did you like that ending? )

so i couldn't wait til thursday... and weighed myself right after eating dinner (smart, i know )

BUT THE SCALE SAYS I LOST TWO POUNDS!!!! i jumped on and off of it at least seven or eight times, couldn't believe my eyes looks like i'm on my way!

gnc brand chocolate caramel protein whey is DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE stuff. blehhhhhhhhh. i had to chew gum after downing my nasty nasty smoothie to get the taste out of my mouth. and yet it lingers on my poor tastebuds. o woe is me!

i. am. so. sore.
SO SORE!

today i ran suicides. i haven't done those since 7th grade gym class. and i did chinups (assisted, of course). haven't done those since probably 2nd grade!

oh, and "cheated" today, although it's not that bad. had a piece of white bread with my chicken breast instead of opting for whole wheat. sue me! anyway, won't do it again. not soon, at least

i'm really looking forward to tomorrow. i'm going to the pool with my closest friends one of them is a lifeguard there. i saw her boyfriend at the gym yesterday. he's wonderful, and i adore him. we had pre-calculus and calculus together in high school. can't wait to see ALL of my lovelies tomorrow! hopefully i won't be so sore i can't enjoy it...

today, i BOXED. as in had boxing gloves on my hands and threw punches at my trainer. ME! BOXING!! i am the sweetest, nicest, mild-mannered (but not mild-mouthed) girl. i've never even hit my younger brother. and today, i put on some gloves, and i boxed. and LOVED it i told my trainer how much fun i had, and he says tomorrow we'll try kickboxing. i am looking forward to it!

i think i had a cardio breakthrough today as well. i was on a bike, and the first ten minutes i was huffing and puffing. but after those ten minutes... i felt like i could keep going forever. i seriously did not want to stop. my heart rate was in my target zone, i was listening to some great music on my ipod, and i wanted to stay on that bike until the gym closed in ten hours. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it ), i had to pick up one of my friends and then go to the pool. so i reluctantly left my post and completed my duties of friendship

my mom made "zucchini" today. i go downstairs at dinner time and ask her if it's zucchini that she's preparing. she says yes. i try it, and it is the single most delicious thing i have ever had in my life. after i finish all that's on my plate, my mom says, "i have a confession to make. that wasn't zucchini. it was eggplant." it's a big joke in my family that i HATE eggplant. my parents think that it's the greatest thing since walmart supercenters, but i think it's TERRIBLE. so i was shocked when she said it was eggplant! i thought she had just burned the skin on the zucchini or something and that's why it was black. oh, stupid me...

mom yelled at me today, pretty badly. she said if i gained a single pound on my trip to california, she wouldn't speak to me for the rest of her life. it's very difficult, because i'm sure she doesn't mean it. but hearing these negative things makes me just want to give the whole thing up. sometimes i question my reasons for losing the weight. my friends always tell me how beautiful i am. complete strangers will cross the room to tell me that they're stricken by my looks. but i don't recall my parents ever actually saying that i'm beautiful. they always say how pretty i'd be if i just lost the weight.

i don't want to hold anything against them. but when they pinch my stomach and tell me nobody will love me if i stay like this, it just makes it that much harder i feel like i'm doing it for them, and i DON'T want that to be the reason. i want to do it for me, i want to be healthy, i want to live a long life and see my kids' kids have kids.

what my mom said today was extremely hurtful.

I totally get the parent thing. You have my sympathies.

Every time I go home to visit my mom, she says "Are you sure you aren't pregnant? You sure are large!" This last time, she also said she didn't know how I get my feet in shoes, they are so fat.

And then she says "I am just trying to be supportive!"

So yeah...your mom is not helping with that kind of comment.

I think you look gorgeous in your avatar photo! How old are you? You look very young.

i'm 18, so yeah i'm young. i'm in college during the school year, so coming home for the summer is sort of bittersweet. i've told both of my parents that if they want to be supportive, they can just ignore everything i'm doing that has to do with weight loss and pretend like it's not happening. honestly, i think that would be great. then i'd DEFINITELY be doing it for me, and i'd feel a whole lot better about it. but oh well, gotta love em anyway i suppose... good luck with your weight loss (and your mom )!!

I used to have the same problem with my parents, not anymore.

but my ex bf ..which I just broke it off with ..used to call me f a t and what not... he would tell me I was kind of pretty but not anything else, like really pretty or beautiful. I was never beautiful in his eyes ...
love was not the strongest point in our relationship ...
Men can stink at times ...

but You do this for you .. I was doing it for him... now I have to totally pick myself up and do this for me ...for real ...he is gone and now whats taken his place is nothing but a drive for my own self esteem .. he knocked that out of me... don't let your parents take control over your weight loss ..if you can ...

keep doing it for you ... you will be the only one who will reap the rewards ...


its all about you and for you ... think of yourself and don't let your parents get you down ...

best wishes
natalie jo

thanks so much for your wise words... you're absolutely right. this is about ME! i'm going to tell that to my mom. i'm going to say, "mom, you can try as hard as you want to make this about you, but it's not and it's never going to be. this is about me."

i'm going to a friend's house to watch the butterfly effect (a movie i'm embarassed to say i haven't seen yet). she said she didn't know what snacks they had, but she knows they have doritos i reminded her that i'm eating healthy and i said that i'd bring some snacks instead. tee hee

made dessert today! little cups of fat free sugar free banana pudding with 3 reduced fat nilla wafers in each of them. altogether, about 120 calories! yum... i'm going to go enjoy one right now.

and natalie jo, you ARE beautiful. anybody who can't see that is an absolute bonehead. glad you ditched him... you deserve WAY better than that girl!

so the boy (THE boy, if you catch my drift) deleted his facebook, which was my only way of knowing remotely anything that was happening in his life, since we're on ridiculously awkward terms due to a stupid, stupid amount of time when we were on ridiculously bad terms. not only that, but his ex-girlfriend (whom he's wayyyyyyyy to close with if you ask me ) has deleted hers as well. i can only hope that they aren't together again. oh boo.

in other news, i've been keeping up with my diet and exercise. all's well there. now i have new motivation to lose weight. i wanna be drop dead gorgeous so that i can stomp all over the boy's heart. ahh, sweet love

hellooooo, it has been far too long. but i'm here to remedy that lost two more pounds! started using interval training on an exercise bike for cardio, and i also use it when swimming laps. still eating pretty well. yesterday i took my little brother to olive garden because he really wanted to go, but i just ate a salad with no dressing, then came home and cooked my own chicken breast.

i'm happy let's see if i can get below 155 by the time i leave for california on the 12th.

You will definitely meet your goal and stomp away! lmao .. I am thinking of sending my ex a pic of me when I am finished with my whole ..and I mean whole weight loss ..just rub it in a little more ...but would never take the jerk back ...

You go Girl and thanks for the kind words .. You Rock!

Your journal is so positive!
You are so positive!
Thats and excellent thing to have ..positive energy .. keep trecking ..
You will reach your goals, we all know you will!

I bought a new hair style today from my hair sylist. My bf never wanted my hair up above half way up my back .. but its just underneath my shoulders .. I will have to get pics to show my hair cut ...

best wishes
natalie jo