I am trying to get back on a good food program. I have had horrible eating habits the past couple months. I eat for every reason and every non-reason. Haagen daaz, kisses, cake, etc.

We don't have anything at home to eat that is worse than a granola bar, which I do not eat much of. Yesterday I was on a food rampage, eating cherries, watermelon....I didn't have any foods that I crave at the house and did not want to go out to the store. I looked very carefully at home and could not even find anything...which was good.

Tonight I'm going to prepare food on the grill, and will make enough to last a couple days. I'm going to grill ground turkey burgers, pork chops, sausage, zucchini, eggplant, carrots...... If this food is available and requires little time for re-heating, I will eat it.

[B]I'm trying to behave my way to success. and to provide an environment that supports my goals. (Thanks to Dr. Phil for this.) I'm not doing a great job of behaving my way to success, but am pursuing this.

Welcome back to your diary...

Pursuing your goal is all you can ask right now, take it one step at a time, one meal at a time...

If you need a little extra encouragement or support... we're right here...

Welcome, back. You can do it. Stay on track and if you fall off get right back on. We're all here for you.

Thank you for your supportive thoughts and words. :-)

M

I was looking back at my jounal entries. I realized that I need to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. Example, if am going to Key West, which involves a 5 hour flight, and about 5 hours driving, etc, and I am miserable all the way there, then I will lose out. If I am miseable getting to thin-ness and miserable maintaining the thinness, then I will lose.

I don't think I could ever have a body I would be happy with. I have never liked my body, although there have been times where it has been more tolerable. My idea of how I should look is un-obtainable. I am able to keep my face maintained with good anti-aging products etc, but my weight is the albatross to me. Clothes never look good. I did learn that men's pants fit much better than ladies, and getting pants that fit better helps. If I had unlimited access to plastic surgery, it could be addictive, just to sculpt the fat away with a tummy tuck, lipo, breast lift, chin lipo.....

I feel stuck. I feel frustrated. My weight has been a daily struggle for many years. I feel like I will never be free of this problem.

M

I have decided not to weigh myself often. In the past I have weighed myself and I always end up disappointed.

Today I hopped on the scale at the end of the day and was pleasantly surprised that my weight has gone down.

Being preoccupied with a number is not important, but it is to me. I always want to get a "good grade" when doing something. Receiving a good score bolsters my self image in some way, otherwise I would not worry about it.

Now that I am older I understand things better. Now the issue is to let go of un-necessary ideas and habits.

M

That's great.... u can do it!
i've learnt to let go of bad accounts and look ahead. Even if u fail, FAIL FORWARD! Heheh.... Dun worry, we'll pull u along shd u get tired. PRESS ON!!!

Reading others journals makes me covet food, I imagine all these different foods. then I want to eat them.

Have any of you seen a journal that deals with the issues under the weight? I tend to benefit from reading about body image, relationship issues, rather than a food diary. If you see any of these, please let me know.

Thanks!

M

This sounds very foreign to me but I'm going to say it anyway. It has almost become a habit to eat well and sparingly now. It has gotten so habitual I have played with the idea of not counting calories. I know this will NOT work. I must stick to the program for at least a year to get it ingrained into my habit.

I have far fewer food cravings now. Food tastes better. I feel satisfied after I eat. I don't need to spend so much $$ on food. I have been trying to incorporate beans into my diet. I feel good that I am not getting large.

M

That's great! Keep up the good work!
I've learnt to bring food from home like my American colleagues. Saves lots of money over a week! Yea and I am luckier than my other frends since there's a microwave oven here.

My food progam is doing well. I am being so faithful to my plan. My exercise is going ok. I have not been exercising too much, but am getting off my butt.

I have learned a couple clothing lessons. It is better to have 3 pairs of pants that fit well instead of 50 that don't look good. Also, I discovered that men's pants fit me better. I don't know why I didn't consider that prior. I'm "blessed" with an apple shape rather than a pear shape. The good thing is that I wear the same size pants as my hubby. When I am not able to wear my current pants, his wardrobe will grow.

Also, with clothes, my closet is stuffed full of things and I dont even remember what I have. I "go shopping" in my closet (often) instead of buying something new. I also do not allow myself to buy an article of clothing unless what the store has is better than my closet. The closet-store prices are more reasonable.

M

I have the flu. Am stuck home. My eating has been great! I feel very guilty leaving my co-workers to hold down the fort. I have not called in sick at this job ever (since 98.)

Currently I am doing a lot of shopping, on line is very convenient. Since I do not eat as much, I think shopping is helping to compensate for the lack of food. There have been a few things I've wanted but have not bought, such as new pillows. A paper shredder.... Those type of things. I am also doing early Xmas shopping, I don't like crowds. Things are on sale also.

I have been shedding weight very quickly. Probably dancing helps keep the calories off me a bit.

I feel encouraged about the weight loss. If I could lose as much in the next 2 months, I'd be delighted.

Am seriously considering tummy tuck, no matter how thin I have been (even at 110 pounds as a teen) I have always had a belly. Perhaps I should just do it. I would feel much better in clothes, and out of clothes too....don't know if I want to accept all the risks of surgery and post surgery. I probably will not do it.

No matter what I do, I don't think my body will ever look even close to how I'd like it to look. I probably have a mild form of body dysmorphic disorder.

Ladies, (& guys) thank you for your support.

M

I have learned so much about clothing fit since I started wearing men's pants. I look for tailored shirts/tops which make me look thinner. Also the way men's pants are cut at the waist line is slenderizing also. If only I'd learned this 20 years ago!! Better late than never.

M

Just stopping by to say hey! I hope you have a great day!

I think everyone throws that in occassionally.. it's a diary -- you can write about whatever you want really...I know the early entries of my diary I talked about everything but food...