Hello,

Finally I have found how to start my diary. When I saw how easy it was I felt like such a fool I could have not mentioned it in this diary but this diary will be about me being honest with myself and anyone else that comes to visit. So here comes my honesty train, one that has never been travelled before.

According to my beloved scales my current weight is 95.1kg. Looking at that figure is difficult but looking at myself in the mirror is further more difficult. I seriously let it all slip etc etc. Anyway this is about the journey going forward. Not the journey going forward then reflect on the backward and then back forward!!!!

SoI did my blood test on Friday, my forms are coming back to me (Iforgot my signature on one of them).

The main reason I decided to go with starting my own diary is because over the next three moonths I will be travelling around the country for work. I was going to wait til i got back but even after the three months I may still need to be away for travel so I thought starting in 3 months time will only gain me maybe another 10kgs to lose so why should I wait. I also think I will need to have this site with me on my travels and the people that visit will have a huge impact on keeping me in check and keeping myself honest.

At this point I am just really eager to get my plan, I know part of my struggle isn't just the program and sticking to it, it will be the people around me. who will accompany me for most of the trip. I have had to tell them about the program and already there has been some face scrunching. The people on this site have been really helpful and shared there own stories. I just need to be sure I keep the strength to do this> I AM DOING THIS FOR ME!!! face scrunching or not what I think and do for my own good and well being is all that matters.

Ok I think thats all for now. I am just really weighting to get the program. i have also not told my boyfriend about the program. Like I said i am doing this for me and thats all I want to focus on all the other bits can work themselves out later. I'd say i have 35kg to lose, and I want to do it be the end of this year I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE...

Hi Suzie
Congrats on making the first few steps to freedom!!! I have similar weight goals to you and believe me its hard but its becoming more and more doable for me!!! I'm sure it will be for you 2 Hope you're having a good weekend!

Thank you. Our goals are similar arn't they, I am thinking about this everyday, I just can't wait for the weight to start shifting, I know how it feels to be aclose to my goal weight and it seriously is so different to now. It's like at the moment i am UNCOMFORTABLE, in so many ways, physically metophorically etc.

Thanks again for writing hope to hear from you again and how you are going.

I know what you mean, I ache for change now that I have made this decision. I think everyday about how good itl be when I finally get settled at the weight I want. I just wish I could work faster, but I know itl stay off if i take my time and slowly lose the weight. What's your approach to eating and exercising? Do you have a plan or anything?

Well, after my many years of experience, i am going to try the Cohens program. I unfortunatley really suck at eating all food types in moderation. I have heard a lot of great things and results on the Cohens program. I have doe something similar but I did it on my own, I wasn't aware of any of these forums. That was about 3 years ago I was down to 74kg and was doing really well, I was even having take away once a week with my friend and everything was in control and I felt in control. At the same time I meet my now boyfriend. Of course I am not blaming him, but when I meet him everything changed the time I spent on my own I started to share making time to see him. We'd go out for dinner I'd beout and eat late, or eat on the run because I wasn't getting home to make dinner, and then all off a sudden we were home alot and I just started eating whatever or I would cook for him and eat what he ate and I always make extra that I would end up eating and I guess I just lost sight of myself and here I now 20kg heavier and just hating it. You know at that stage I was making my way back into size 12 clothes and I was so excited, and now I am at a size 18 which I have never been. I hate shopping now I hate my clothes but never want to buy new ones, so I recycle what I have till I can't wear it no more and then bue just the essentials, whe a dn if I need them. So I willbe doing cohens because I believe there willbe the results, I also feel this diary and these forums will be a huge help, as well as the refeeding program which is part of Cohens which helps reintroduce more food but still mainting reasonable portion sizes, at the moment I have no self control, so I need that discipline. In terms of exercise my weight gain has made it a tough slog. I have a bad ankle, (It was bad when I was in a normal weight range) but now that I am bigger if I so much as do an hour of walking it swells up and becomes to sore to even walk onm so I really need to lose the weight so I can do more exercise. At the moment though its more just walking. I know from past experience if I push to hard in the physical stakes I am more likely to talk myself out of doing anymore, so I will take the physical side of things easier.


What have you been doing? I see from your ticker you have lost 15kg that is brilliant, how long has it taken?

On one of the forums someone suggested that you drink a litre of water for every 25kg, so she said I should drink 4 litres? (she is a slimming and health finalist) so i'm sure what she is saying is right I really let the water consumption fall by the way side.

I am also a smoker which is something else I need to give up !!! O sometimes it never seems to end hehee wow I have rattled on a bit, it is such a relief to be able to say all his you know I never really asy this stuff to anyone out loud, I know its hard for people to uinderstand sometimes so for that reason I generally don't bring these things up.

But it feels so good to get it all out doesn't it. I find its awkward, or hard to discuss my weight with my friends and/or family. I don't come from an overly large family and none of my friends are big. My before pictures are up if you want to have a look and see just how skinny my boyfriend is haha. I live and deal with skinny good looking people daily and there is just no one to turn to who knows how I'm feeling. THANK GOD for these forums right.
I've read a lot about the Cohens programme, It sounds very well researched and successful so I am very excited for you!!! It feels so good to finally realise you have 'hit rock bottom' and are ready to change your lifestyle to a much more healthier one.
I know exactly what you mean about clothes and size shopping, It has been so hard for me growing up because I have a HUGE interest in fashion. Obviously I've never really been able to buy the stylish things I want because they don't make fashionable clothes for teens in a size 16/18 etc. I buy basics of everything and just try and fly under the radar, when really I'd love to be buying wonderful dresses and the latest trends.
Living with your partner is so hard isn't it. Lucky for me my boyfriend is a health NUT! so if anything he helped me out with my horrid diet (which consisted of chips and chocolate and takeaway). But I sure know what its like to settle into domestic bliss and spend all your time eating out, or grabbing something late at night.
Ummm losing the 15kgs has been rather quick for me, which I was surprised about, but I guess I carry a lot of weight on a rather smallish frame. It has probably been 2 months now, so 8-10 weeks, 1.5-1.8 loss a week.
To be honest, even though I have been religiously avoiding foods I know aren't beneficial for my body, I haven't stuck to a plan or counted calories or anything, which is a bit silly. I guess I'm waiting until I get to a plateau and then I will spice things up. I do exercise daily but it hasn't been strenuous. I joined the gym at my university but I don't go everyday. I do however play netball most days, which is great because its my passion and not for the exercise!
Anyway I have also rambled on Which is fine though, that is what these forums are for right? And like the lady said, drinking water is def a help I think. I have started to up my intake and the benefits are showing (I've had almost perfect skin since I started this diet)
You should check out my diary and before's too if you get time
Mel xx

Hi Mel,
I am so glad you came across here its sounds like we have similiar experiences situations etc. I have a similar situation with my boyfriend he to is skinny he is actually from NZ and a rugby freak so he is very fit and hates junk food, bot loves things like meat and potatoes he is trying to put on weight oh how the world works in mysterious ways.

You are doing really great... I am going to try and find your diary now heheeh hope I find it I am hopless with these threads....

S

Mel Ican't find your diary can you pease tell me how.. i am not very good navigating this site

Oh wow fantastic about your Kiwi boyfriend! My boyfriend is English. You don't happen to be from there do you haha? I know what you mean about the meat and potatoes thing haha! It is a pretty hard site to navigate sometimes isn't it! Um i will try and link you 2 my diary. I find it hard 2 remember how to get to specific diaries so I just bookmark them and it saves time haha I have yours bookmarked yay! How are you going dietwise anyway? Hope everything is going well! Ok here are my makeshift links that may or may not work!
My diary - http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weigh...tml#post294420
My before pictures - http://weight-loss.fitness.com/befor...my-before.html

Hope they work! Let me know if they don't!

I finally found your diary and pics!! Yeay, you and your boy look really happy together. No i am from Australia heheeh

Well I haven't got the plan, yet when i sent the paperwork back i missed my signature on one of the forms but I have sent them back today so I hope I get it by the end of the week. In the meantime i am trying to increase my water and I am planning on pretty much clearing out my cupboards I have already told my boy that i will be off loading a lot of things his way. At the moment I also have to work on reducing the use of salts and sauces which are my weakness. I will do an officiaql starting weight when I start the program, I am also thinking of hiding my scales, i am usually guilty of weighing my swelf every moment possible. What is you daily food like do you eat certain times and then have a cut off time? Under Cohens from what I have read they basically say that meals should be 5 hours apart so that your body has time to digest, before you put anoither load in and then stop eating at 9pm. I will keep you posted on what I do when I get the program. I know at the moment I haven't made any drastic changes but by checking in to this site daily I am trying to strengthen my commitment to doing this and doing it right.
How do you handle social situations do you try and keep away from dinners and drinking (alcohol) and things like that ?

Oh wow yay Australia is beautiful! My best friend is there atm for her boyfriends 21st and I'm ever so jealous!! We are so similar in the salts and sauces thing. I could coat anything in salt or some kind of sauce. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. My favs are a heap of salt and tartare sauce. SO good. However I also like dressing on my salads like avocado and garlic YUM! Grrr so many good things to drown my food in haha. I'm so glad your getting yourself ready for change! I'm sure you will notice a huge difference in yourself already (feeling wise) As for me, I don't eat my restricted times but I have 3 meals a day and basically because I love food and I'm always hungry I snack all the time. I don't eat after dinner unless I'm really hungry though and then If i do it'l always be something light with no carbs (Just because my body doesn't take well to them later on in the day). OH dear regarding the social situations! Being a uni student, you just can't avoid drinking, parties, town and the like. But i try to drink white spirits with diet fizzy. So basically my diet alcoholic drinks are vodka and coke (diet) or vodka lemon and lime etc etc. And if I'm out to dinner (which i frequently am) I just relax, enjoy the food I'm eating and treat myself a little. But as I have found, when you are striving towards your ultimate lifestyle and goal, you don't really want to treat yourself anymore haha My other trick is 2 make sure I order a dish that includes veges and I eat all of them first! So what date do you start your programme? I am so excited for you!!!!! Keep me updated!

I got a call today and I will be getting my program on Friday, and I will be starting on Saturday. I am so looking forward to making this my permanent change. CaI just say you mentioned salt and tartare !!! thats freaky coz thats what I overdo all the time !! that is to funny but in a few months time I should be saying "oh that's to salty" hahaha I really can't imagine that now but I hope it is part of my future. I will do my official weigh in on Saturday morning and post how day 1 went. I hope my enthusiasim holds me through... I just keep reminding myself I want to do this .. i want to do this....

Counting down til i get my program, 2 more days to go. I am strong i will do what is good for me. I got the work uniform today for our working around oz its a size 16 and very snug when I get back that jacket better be a potatoe sack !!!!

hello me well i get my program tomorrow or this morning !!! I am so excited nervous how I am going to manage but i will do it failure is not an option.

Good luck with the Cohen's Program, SS. I've read your diary and I think you should completely banish the word "failure" in your vocab. haha You seem so positive. Keep it up. You're going to do just fine.

-Sheryl