I have been on a diet for 18 years. I know this for a fact because my daughter is 18 years old. I binged ate during my pregnancy with her and gained 80 pounds. I craved foods that I never craved before. I picked up some very bad eating habits;whole cake, couple of candy bars, 12 pack of Pepsi, etc... Junk food! I became an all-time binge eater. I ate when I was sad and happy. I hid food away from others. I took laxatives and even put my finger down my throat. Professional dieter (joke), I have been on every diet, even almost killing myself with the Fhen/Phen fad. Thousands of dollars later, I am at a all-time high of 312 pounds. I could easily be 1000 pounds but I have been on a diet, every Monday, for the past 18 years. I have lost but mostly gained.

Yesterday, I went to Davids Bridal for a fitting for my sisters wedding. I was suppose to lose weight for this but of course I didn't. My dress is a size 26. I was so embrassed. Everyone else is the wedding party is a size 8, 10, and 16. I have hit bottom!

So today, I woke up to another Monday, another diet, another start. I know that I can not lose 100 pounds by my sisters wedding, October 20. I can start taking care of me; eating healthier and exercising. My plan is to eat about 1800 calories a day and walk a mile. Also, use this forum more often. Its a start!


Best Wishes,

Carrie

Hey Carrie! Good for you for taking a step in the right direction. I too have struggled with binge eating and many types of diets in the past, including anorexia. I just want to encourage you and also suggest that you check out physiquetransformation.com. You will find some amazing information about how to rehab your metabolism- I have been doing it for awhile and my binge eating is now completely gone, my addiction to sugar is gone and I have lost an 1.25 inches off my waist just in the past few weeks.

The man who created the website is really amazing and he desires to help people- he has said that when you have failed enough at conventional dieting, then physique transformation is for you. Good luck with your journey and I hope to hear more about your progress I have a diary too so feel free to stop by!

Carrie welcome and looks like a good choice. It hits us like a sledge hammer at times. The extreme diet things I guess we have all been through it at one time or another. It doesn't help because the weight just comes right back and brings extra pounds with it. It's a hard thing to lose a lot and at times you feel like you're the only one. hang out here and you wont be. After a few weeks it becomes more of a habit of counting calories or Weight Watcher points or what ever method you decide to use. you will still have cheat days or cheat meals or just a no-no snack. It's hard to cut those snacks out all together. I still have sugar in the form of honey or if I want some M % M's I just make an allotment for it.....

Best wishes,

Hillbillylee......

Welcome to my trigger mechanism. I don't have any clever secrets to share. I can't sugar-coat the task in front of you. I can only add that hitting bottom can be just the very fuel to lead you into a successful life change. I hope you obey your embarrassment as well as I did.

Consider posting daily instead of weekly.

Hey Carrie, congratulations on making the choice to lose the weight. There is one thing I want to give you. Think of this time as the only time you have tried. Forget all the past failures. If you hold on to them you will start to think maybe I cant do this. Failure cant be in your dictionary. Set up rewards for success and consequences for mess ups. I just want you to know I am here to support you. If you ever have any questions please feel free to email me. Best of luck to you in the challenge ahead.

Hey welcome!!!
I hope we hear from you everyday and not next monday!!! You can get alot of motivation on this board! I also binged alot I even over ate today but I am learning to control it and not letting it carry on for hours or days.The way i deal with binging is trying to avoid the situation-I love to snack so i dont have any snacks in my house-If I am going into the city I try to eat before I go-I even turned down subways with my husband today which is a first .Baby step is all it takes.Good luck!!!

[QUOTE=care180;296900]I will write in next Monday.

I meant that I will keep up with my dairy, every Monday. I am going to try to use the forum everyday and post. There is alot of information on here. Thanks for everyones kind words.

Best Wishes,

Carrie

Day three is almost over. I have done very well.

Things that I have changed over the last 3 days:

-I am one of those Pepsi Addicts. Its the hardest thing to give up. My biggest change is that I am not drinking my calories. I am drinking more water. For my coffee, I am using diet sugar and skim milk. I am saving 1000 or more calories.

-For my job, I do home visits to clients houses. Usually on a typical day, I will go for lunch at a fast-food joint. I have changed this by packing a lunch. I figure out that I am saving about 500, 600, or more calories. Lunch is a sandwich with lots of veggies and a fruit. Then, a fruit or crackers for a snack.

-Every morning, I am exercising by walking one mile; Walk Away the Pounds video. Its a start.

-I have stopped eating after 6pm. This has been easy because I go to bed early for work. The weekends will be hard.

Small changes, I feel really good. What a difference a couple of days make.

Best Wishes,

Carrie

Hey Carrie - Good on you for starting a diary! Your first few days look awesome. Keep up the motivation. You can do this, when you get discouraged just come on the forum... there is alot of forum love around here!

Today, at work, it was someone's birthday. I had one piece of cake. It wasn't in my plan for the day, so I am kind of disappointed. I tried to refuse it but I had twelve women on my back. Unfortunally, there is a party every week or some type of junk food laying around. Thank god, I only spend a fourth of my time in the office, the rest in the field. I needed to write this and deal with it. I have to start saying, no.

My food plan for today:

2 frozen waffles with sugar-free syrup

apple

turkey sandwich with cheese on wheat bread and banana

THE PIECE OF CAKE

Then for dinner, I am going to have:

1 cup of pasta with sauce & salad with fat-free dressing

I feel alot better sharing this.

Best Wishes,

Carrie

Thanks for everyone's support!

I really hate the title to my diary. I try changing it with no success. When I wrote my first entry, I really hit bottom. Professional dieter was really said sarcastically. All the time wasted and money spent.

I am a binge-eater. Everything comes down to my emotions. I know what to eat, what calories work for me, and what type of exercise works for me. Unfortunately, this knowledge doesn't work if my head is not screwed on right.

This week, I have done very well. I do feel alot better, mentally. I also have been reading "The Secrets." It basically says that if you think positively, act positively, positive things will come your way. I notice this week that feeling better and acting positively, people treat me better. People don't bother me as much. I smile and laugh more. I enjoy work better. I have more energy.

One great thing happened today. For the past two months, I have been trying to find a new job, really a career change. I have applied for 28 positions from various companies. With no luck, I believe this is one of the reasons that I hit bottom. Well today, I got a call from two companies. I have an interview on Monday then Tuesday.

Well here comes my fat person mentality:

--What do I wear to the interview?

--Ok, they like what they see on my resume, WAIT UNTIL THEY SEE ME.

--Shit it will be in the 90's! I'll be a sweaty.

So, on Sunday, I will go up the mall to find that perfect outfit. I'll bet anyone that it will be all black. I know that if I'm eating healthy and following my plan, I will be able to handle it.

Best Wishes,

Carrie

Hi Carrie,

You're off to a great start on your journey. Don't get too upset about that one piece of cake. It was one piece on one day... don't dwell upon it just look forward you can't change the past.

Congrats on getting your interviews and good luck. I understand how you feel. A couple of days ago I had a freakout about needing ot find a job months from now.

Keep up the great work
~Jenna

Boam46

I want a job that I enjoy waking up to, rather then dreading the day ahead.
My job has been an emotional roller coaster, lately. Being a emotional eater, this isn't good for me. But, I am feeling really good this week and ready for the change.

Thanks for your support!

Carrie

For my first week, I lost 8 pounds. I am feeling really good. The big job interview is today. I am a little nervous but I can handle it.

My goal for the coming week is to get below the awful 300 pound mark. So at 304, I will need to lose 5 lbs. 1800 calories a day and a mile walk seem to be working. So, I will stay with this.

Best Wishes,

Carrie

Today, I am feeling pretty down. People say that eating better makes them feel better. This is somewhat true, but also it can make you feel down. I am a binge eater/comfort eater. I feel like I have lost my friend (food). Some days are harder than others. Today is one of those days hard days. I have to remember that food will not solve my problems, only make me feel worse.
I will not let this ruin the day ahead.

Best Wishes,

Carrie