As a part of budgeting my money I have decided to make healthier, and surprisingly cheaper decisions.

Instead of going out to lunch for fun (umm... like every day) Dan and I are going to have a lunch from home and watch movies/tv shows on Hulu.com; or play a card game. Or rent a movie instead of going out for something to do at night.

I will spend less money at the store when I do my weekly shopping by making an exact list, and prioritizing luxury items that I buy. And to make sure I don't spend a lot of other money, I will put all my extra money into my savings account until I need it for something major.

Anyways, I'm trying to eat healthier. This morning for breakfast I had a bagel with whipped cream cheese and a glass of nonfat milk. 210 calories for the bagel+60 calories of cream cheese+90 calories for a glass of milk: 360 calories total. Unfortunately I have work from noon-midnight tonight, and I don't want to spend money to buy something there (not that they have healthy food anyways), I have decided to bring 2 servings of cheerios with me to snack on throughout the day (220 calories), and when I get home I will have a turkey lunchmeat sandwich or something with some fruit salad.

It is tough to see just how much I have on my plate right now. I have sat down to make my list of everything I need to do, and it is possible to get it all done, its just going to be exhausting. I woke up early this morning after staying up throughout the night to make sure Dan was okay, and I cleaned for 45 minutes, did a load of laundry, fed the cat, changed the litter box, ate breakfast, and now I am going to do a load of dishes in the dishwasher and get ready for work. When I get home tonight I have to wrap presents for tomorrow's baby shower and father's day cookout. And I have to do another load of laundry before i can go to sleep.

Enough blabbing, time for me to get ready for work!

That's really bad news about Dan's father, Brandy. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to help as much as you can there. You're right to try and keep some healthy ideas going too, but I get it about the limits on what can be managed. Keep taking care of yourself.

I haven't been getting to the gym lately. Working 40 hours a week is a lot of work, and when I get home I'm tired, or I've missed the gym's open hours. I need to concentrate more on this again, seeing as I love the gym... its really about "me" time, and not only about forcing myself to go for the health benefits. I've also been really tired, and sometimes don't feel like driving. And I've been drinking a few nights with friends.... *shame*. So I am determined to pull out my old beloved DVDs and get a mix of exercise when I can't go to the gym. Its time for me to get back into the swing of things... even though EVERYTHING around me is hectic right now.

I'm going to take a 15 minute nap, and then head out to my mom's house for a while. I will be back tonight to check in with everyone's journals and such.

My eating habits are fading into horribleness. I never go to the gym anymore, I've just been so drained.

I need to pick a point that I recommit myself to this, and now is as good a time as ever. For the next 30 days I am going to eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, get plenty of exercise, and drink plenty of water.

I don't care what I look like anymore, I have an awful self-esteem.... and its just not good.

I haven't been around because I have been working full time, dealing with random stuff... and I have actually finally caught up with my chores, with the exception of laundry... which is a continuing chore. lol.

So I'm not sure what to do, or where to start.... but I know the right things will come to me. And I will come home from my father's house later tonight and make lists, goals, and FINALLY get a chance to visit people around here. And maybe find (or create) a challenge to keep me going.

Its time to recommit to myself, and tell myself that I am worth it. I don't have boredom eating to get in my way anymore... since I'm always so busy!!

-Brandy

Hey Brandy,

I can really relate to your last post. This week I have woken up at the same time I always do, but I have been getting progressivly more tired and groggy. At the same time, I also noticed that once I actually drag myself outta bed and get to the gym, I'm always pumped up and ready to workout. In fact, I always feel pretty good about myself after I finish /pat on back. So its really all about getting moving, or just getting yourself there.

In especially trying times, take a few moments to look back on how far you have come, and remind yourself that the end goal is worth it. It should drum up enough motivation to get you started, and the rest is cake

Be strong Brandy. You totally have it in you to succeed. Don't let the bad times drag you down. This is a long term thing and you have to find what works for both you and your life. Keep things simple along with your plans... like walking for 10 minutes or just down the block. Do squats in the shower (sounds funny but it worked for me lol). Just try to fit in activity. You are so busy and that is awesome you can't boredom eat. That is one of my biggest downfalls. I know it's hard. If it was easy everyone would be in shape but you have done it before and you can do it again and I know you will stick with it because you are strong and your motivation will come back. Try to keep what you eat nourishing and if you slip up don't worry about it and move on. Take it one day at a time and know you have come so far!! I still keep up with you even though baby keeps me from posting as much as I want to. Also I am still determined to do a run with you even if it takes a little while to get to that point so I haven't given up! Just had to adjust to life with baby which is never what you think it will be lol. Take care of yourself!

Getting up and going really is the hardest part... I need to work on it. Maybe that will my goal to work on for this next month (outside of healthy goals that is)

I was getting going with the running, and now it seems I am just ALWAYS tired.... it sucks. So along with getting up and going at a normal hour, I need to work on going to bed earlier. I can't wait til you can come back fully ready to deal with the evil running gods and defeat them at last with me! lol.

running really is something I want to conquer because I don't like to do it at all, I dread it... but once I do it I am so happy that I actually did it. Does that make sense???

This morning I had a small bologna sandwich with a bottle of water, and a serving of chips. Nothing healthy.... but I didn't overeat like I have been, so I guess its a baby step.

I have work today from 12-9pm, which means I need to leave in 1 hour and 20 minutes. I want to go on a 15 minute walk before I leave, and when I get back I will either do a DVD, or go the gym if they aren't closed by that time.

I haven't been to the gym in FOREVER it seems... and I'm still paying for it, so I want to go. I haven't really exercised at all, I've been eating crappy... I'm surprised that I'm plateauing at 208.4 pounds.

I am leaving on a week long vacation in 8 days, and i want to see how much weight I can lose before then. I obviously won't get the the goal I was planning for myself 3 months ago (175), but maybe I can get lucky and get into the 100's. The beloved 100's. lol. Before I leave for work I want to eat something else to keep me full until I get home tonight at 9pm.

I can't really go out to eat anymore because I need to watch my money carefully, I have to pay for school at the end of this summer, and I have to pay rent now, its not a big rent payment, but its another hit to the wallet that I wasn't expecting.

Anyways, enough complaining babble... I'm here again, and I need to stay here, so even when I go on vacation I will update from my phone.

I stopped by some of your diaries, the rest will be stopped by later tonight when I get home from work.

EDIT 11:20am: I am still exhausted for some reason, but I went on a 25 minute walk around the block with danny. Now I need to leave for work in 20 minutes, and I feel like I've already done something today.

Hey girl. Your lunch doesnt sound too horendous i think you are being hard on yourself on that one there... moderation is the key. I think you will be just fine. YOU have to be READY to recommit otherwise you will not keep with it and feel like you have failed yourself.... trust me... i have done it SO MANY TIMES.

The other thing that is kind of a bummer is the money thing BUT.... count it as a blessing The good news is..... you will be forced to make conceous choices on what you eat at home and you will know what is in all the foods you make because YOU are in control of that. Resturants trick us so bad with the "secret ingredients".

Anyways, thank you for stopping by my journal today... it was nice to see you in there! Best of luck and dont work too hard tonight!!!

I am ready to commit, and at the same time, I'm not ready to jump in head first. I have a lot of other things going on right now that I'm not in this to race.... but rather I'm along for the journey. Does that make sense?? I don't have time to exercise 3 hours a day, I can do a bit here and there, and Hope that it adds up. I don't want to go out to restaurants for a while... (except when I am on vacation next week, and I will definitely exercise a lot while I am there.)

I leave one week from today for vacation. My vacation will include a ton of exercise! Because that is the mood that I am in lately.

Yesterday wasn't a healthy eating day, but I still didn't over-eat at all, so I consider it a bit better than usual. I worked until 9:30 last night, and when I got home (and was planning on exercising), I just went straight to bed. I have to work again today, but not for nearly as long. I had an unhealthy breakfast/lunch.... (grouped it as one meal because I ate at a weird hour), but for dinner I want to have a salad and some fruit. I work from 12-5 today, and really I just want a day at home. but only 5 hours...... thats what I keep telling myself. lol. I Don't have time to go on a walk before i go to work today, and TOM is coming tomorrow so I'm sort of in a really bitchy, angry mood today. Everything is ticking me off!!!! lol. So when I get home tonight I might take some aspirin and do a DVD, and use my weight bench. I don't want to go to the gym, I will save that for Monday- Because today and tomorrow... by the time I get there, it won't be open for very long.

I leave in 40 minutes for work, I'll come home, relax for a little while, and then get some exercise in. I'm dreading going to work, because I have soooo much that I want to do at home. Hopefully work will go by really quick.

I've stopped by a few more of your journals, hopefully I will get a chance to stop by some more later tonight. Hope everyone is doing well!!

I am a bad girl for not updating. I've been sooo busy with work, birthdays, and packing for vacation. Actually that's where I am now! On my car ride to Newfound Lake in New Hampsire. I am going to get lots of exercise this vacation, and if I don't eat super healthy, I will at least moniter all my portions. I will eat as healthy as I can with whaTever food got brought with us. My week is going to be filled with swimming, boating, walks, canoeing, and lots of other fun and active stuff. I'll update and visit your diaries throughout the week from my phone or laptop if the place we are going to has internet. Bye!!

I am going to post food and exercise daily. I'll post when I get a second in my day, and update this post.

Saturday:
breakfast- nothing
lunch- 1 ham and cheese sandwich(2 white bread, 1 American cheese, 2oz ham, 4 b&b pickles, 1 tsp. yellow Mustard), and 1 serving nacho cheese Doritos. Comments: lunch was packed for me. I ate half at lunch at a rest stop picnic table, and half 30 minutes later in the car.
dinner- half of the sherazo chicken (rigatoni, chicken, cashews, and veg), 1 cup of spicy rice
snacks- 2 chocolate chip cookies, 1/2 skinny cow ice cream sandwich, 1/2 PB&J, 20 cherries.

Comments on the Saturday: I felt very hungry all night. Not sure why. I'll work on portions and timing my food tomorrow. We'll see how it turns out.


Sunday:
breakfast(7:30 am)16 oz water. 1 pancake, 1/16 cup of syrup, 4 cherries, 1/4 cup blueberries.
Snack (10:45 am) 16 oz water. 1/2 PB&J on 1 piece white bread, 4 cherries.

I have been missing for a while. Dan's father died July 27th. Its depressing, and stressful around the house. Dan and I are going to the gym tonight to get a good work out. I am also stressed out about money... but I always find a way to get these sorts of things to work.... so I believe it will happen again this time.

I will be coming back to update more often...because I really need to work on getting myself (and my family) healthy. I will probably be back tonight, or tomorrow sometime... and I will then visit everyone's journals, and explain exactly what I plan on doing to get healthy.

no one really goes to my journal.... so... this might be a useless post. lol.