Hi Brandy,

sorry I have been delinquent in visiting you and everyone else. I see you have been having problems with your shins? Thats too bad, I had problems too until I got a really good pair of runners. You did say you have a good pair of shoes, but are they really? Did you get them fitted by a Running shoe store? Did you read up on them. The reason why I ask is because I originally thought my Nikes were excellent running shoes too, until I went and talked to a running expert. Turns out my Nikes had past their due date! they were over 6 months old and they had lost their arch support (which wasnt much to begin with) so I ended up buying a pair of Saucony runners with a ridge arch support. But if you have already done this then great. When you get back to run/walking just make sure you do it every other day to start to work your calf muscles up. Another thing I learned about jogging is try to keep your feet as close to the ground as possible (try not to bring your knees up too high). Every time your foot comes down to the ground you are exerting 4 times your body weight on your joints. So I try to (run quietly) because it is less shock to your shins. A 20 year runner told me once, have you ever watched Marathon runners form? Most of them look like they are almost dragging their feet, their shoulders are slack but do not move from side to side , its almost like the only thing that really moves is their hips and thighs. They look funny but this form is probably the best? That is what I have been trying to emulate and so far, my shins have had little pain, I have had new pain in my calves because I am building new calf muscles because my shoes are different.

Don't get down cause you will be back, I think you are doing great. Keep your spirits up and remember Baby Steps!

Talk to you soon,

Eldaweesda- thank you for stopping by my diary! I really appreciate the support.

Today has gone pretty well so far. I had an egg sandwich for breakfast. 3 egg whites. 1 slice of American cheese, between 2 slices of white bread.

Lunch is going to be 1/2 a honey dijon chicken wrap. I told them NO BACON. Everything else in there is healthy...lettuce, chicken, and tomato...plus yummy dijon dressing.

I haven't exercised yet... I ended up sleeping instead. But Dan just called and he has a 2 hour break between his shifts today.. so thats why he is buying me lunch!!! My original plan was PB&J... so this is MUCH more nutritious!!!

I'm up to about 375 calories so far today...and I feel great. Hopefully the weigh I gained this week will melt off...plus maybe more!

I'm on a happy-high! I am so determined. Right now Dan is even eating healthy-which makes me POSITIVE that he will push me. I'm so happy. I am going to look gorgeous after this summer is over.

yay!! glad to hear it hun!

Hi Brandy,
I'm sorry you were having such a hard time of things lately. I think it's great that you finally got through to Dan. I hope he continues to be supportive. I think maybe he's afraid you'll ditch him for someone else if you lose a bunch of weight--maybe that's why he was always sabotaging your efforts. Or it could be he equates feeding you things you like with love. My dad is like that. He thinks he's making me happy by buying me peanut butter cups. It's his way of comforting me. Not very healthy, is it?

Don't worry about not being able to exercise b/c of your shins. just do things that don't aggravate them--and do NOT over do it. You don't want to make them worse or slow down the healing process. I thought that was great advice by Elda. I kind of run that way as it feels better--much less weight on the joints as she mentioned.

I think it might help you if you didn't set weight loss goals. I used to do that, and every time I do, I never make it to that magic number by the date I'm supposed to..lol. It's depressing, and serves no good purpose. I think it's better to just have a daily goal of eating well and exercising a certain amount per week. That way you feel good each day if you meet that goal, and aren't pressured to lose X amount of weight by X date. KWIM?

Glad you're feeling better, sweetie.

That you Kim. Its a big help to know that people care. I need that.

i got in 20 minutes of my 30 minute goal of step aerobics. After 20 minutes my shins started to ache...so I called it quits before they HURT. Good thing too. I can still walk on them...and I don't want that pain to come back. I had a great day overall today. I didn't eat anything bad. I got in plenty of veggies (no fruit unless you count tomatoes..which I guess you are supposed to) and I got in more then enough water. I finally did some exercise...even if it was only 20 minutes. Tomorrow is mother's day. I am going to try and eat healthy. I'll probably do well. I can have apples for snacks at my mom's house, steak is for dinner... I guess that isn't too bad. Breakfast I'll eat at home before I go over...and I'll have my delicious egg sandwich again. I am so proud today. I did excellent!!! I hope it will show on the scales next week.

Kim- I understand what you mean about not setting goals. I won't be upset or heartbroken if I don't make them...but it will give me something to strive for. It makes me realize when I have to be stricter on myself. Does that make any sense??

Eldaweesda- I am not ready to start running yet...but thank you for cluing me in on a good stance. I wouldn't have known that...but it makes a lot of sense.

Well, I'm off to bed for the night. I'm in an OK mood... sort of aggravated with my to-be-H. lol. But I need to get a good night sleep for tomorrow now!

Thank you everyone. I'm praying tomorrow will go as well as today went.

I probably had about 700 calories for breakfast. I had my egg sandwich- 350; plus 1 powdered doughnut- 250... and a little bit of milk, 100 ish. So yeah... 700 calories. I probably won't eat lunch. Yesterday I was full until 5 am after I ate my egg sandwich. For dinner tonight we are having steak at my mother's house. But I won't have many/ if ANY carb sides (potatoes, rice, etc.). I am still determined to have a great day today. OH- and I was down to 211 on the scale this morning! I'm getting close to my low of 209.4!!

Hope every mother out there has a happy mother's day!!!

My calories last night were about 1600 exact. Plus or minus 10. I'm very happy with that.

I wrote about my breakfast already... for lunch I had a granny smith apple. And for dinner I had about 3 oz of steak; maybe the total of 2 idaho potatoes (The yellow ones that are about the size of a tight fist) that were cut up and grilled; 1 corn on the cob; and a WHOLE bunch of salad with a honey french dressing. IT was spectacular. And I was so full afterwards. But...an hour or so later my mom and step dad were eating a Vienna Mocha Swirl icecream from friendly's!!! EEEK. My mom knows that I am trying to watch my weight. Not only because I tell her that I've lost...but because she notices the choices I make food wise; and how I always look at a label before I decide to eat something. So she told me there was watermelon sherbert downstairs if I wanted that too. Watermelon=one of my favorite flavors. And sherbert is MUCH less fat then actual icecream. So I was going to settle. But then in the freezer I found fruit sorbets. They were actually in the out-shell/rind/whatever of actual fruit. Carved out coconut with coconut sorbet, and they had lemon, orange, and pinapple too!!! I found the orange... it was 69 calories, and 1.7 fat...practically no sodium. SOLD!!! I ate them with them, and to my surprise... I was satisfied. I wasn't craving that Vienna Mocha Swirl from Friendly's. When I got home that night... maybe around 10:00pm Dan was hungry because he hadn't eaten all day while he was working. So I tried to talk him out of it.but he had a pork chip, TONS of pasta with chicken, peas, and some kind of cream sauce, and a doughnut. He DEFINITELY had the calories to spare... so he didn't care. But... I fell into a trap and ate a doughnut too. Then I watched a movie, and I was asleep by 2 am probably.

I got on the scale this morning.... and i was 209.2!! That means I lost all the weight I gained last week; and I'm .2 lower then my lowest weight!!! Woohoo for newest lows. Maybe I can be out of the 200's by my anniversary. Who knows. I'm in a very happy mood. And I feel very skinny. Even though it is only 8 pounds that I have lost.... i feel like I can tell the difference in my stomach. Just little difference. I'm not sure how today is going to go. But I will make it go well!! Thats officially 2 days of GREATNESS in a row!

i ate outback for supper. I probably had about 1800 calories today. I will not be eating any more tonight. Hopefully I won't gain tomorrow...but on the safe side I won't be weighing myself tomorrow. I still ate relatively good stuff. Caesar salad; steak; mashed potatoes. ((Went out to Eat!))

My weekly weights:

Friday- 214.0
Saturday- 213.8
Sunday- 211.0
Monday- 209.2

My ticker keeps on changing. I keep going back to tickerfactory.com and changing my goal weight. I keep changing it from The long term goal: 130, to the Back To School Goal: 165, to the Summer Vacation Goal: 175... to just a step by step goal...which is 200. I think I have decided to keep my goal at 200 for now. I'll work myself down gradually. Tossing around numbers is GREAT...and keeps me motivated.... but I don't want to set goals for myself that I don't end up reaching. I need to take timed goals out of my head!!! I need to keep thinking... "Just do your best". I should just keep making 10 pound goals for myself...something to keep me striving. Bigger numbers can get me discouraged. Though the thought of saying I weigh such a small number will put a smile on my face every time I say it!

I haven't exercised in a while!!!! I just did 10 minutes of strength plus 20 minutes of step aerobics. My right shin hurts a tad bit...but I'll be fine in an hour. I am excited about exercising again. I think I can handle it. I just need to keep doing "Toe Taps" my runner friend says. They strengthen your calfs...and weak calfs is a cause of shin splints. He has had them MANY times...as he is a runner...and he says the best thing to do is work through them. Not right away of course...but to take the time needed until they are pretty much gone, and then slowly exercise through it. So.... I don't think I worked off enough calories to lose weight tomorrow...but we'll see how bad the damage is. :worry:

Friday- 214.0
Saturday- 213.8
Sunday- 211.0
Monday- 209.2
Tuesday- 211.0

Lunch- 4 oz of spaghetti, with 1/4 cup of red sauce. 435 calories, 2.5 g of fat, 255 sodium, 90 carbs!!!!!, and 15 g of protein.

snack/later lunch- 2 oz of spaghetti, 1/8 cup of red sauce. 215 calories, 1.25 g of fat, 125 sodium, 42.5 carbs, and 7 g of protein.

Running Totals: 650 calories, 3.75 fat, 380 sodium, 132.5 carbs, 22 protein


Time to make goals for today. 20 minutes step aerobics, 20 minutes strength training total, 20 minute walk. Food Goal for the day- 1600 calories or fewer.