I'm obviously new around these parts. I decided to start this journal because I think it may be rather therapeutic for me. I recently hit my all time highest weight of 400 pounds (6 feet tall). My weight has made me so unhappy for so long. Its become a terrible cycle, my weight was making me depressed and I was gaining weight because I was depressed. A few weeks ago, I went through an ugly breakup with my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years. My weight played an integral part in the failure of our relationship. Through the years, I became more and more distant and withdrawn. I didn't want to do anything. My energy level was so low, I was embarrassed to go out because I'd get so winded from walking a block. I had trouble fitting into booths at restaurants. The idea that i needed to lose close to 200 lbs was overwhelming. I felt as though I had no control in my life.

I now know that I have complete control. I have decided to be happy. I have decided to be healthy. I have decided to not give up. I have decided to succeed.

Right now I'm taking baby steps. I've started riding my recumbent bike (I'm up to about 2.5 miles). Doing some weight training using barbells. Started counting calories and keeping a food log. Just trying to be a bit more active than I've been for a long time.

So, if you want to be a part of a success story, feel free to participate in my diary.

I can't wait until the day you and I post our before and after pictures in that section of this site Imperial.

Your story is very similar to mine including the messy breakup thing.

I have a hard time doing difficult things if its only for myself but still I want to lose all of my weight so I have decided I will do this for everyone here and every lurker who reads this so that when I reach my goals and my pictures are posted perhaps I can be a hero to someone else who needs it as Ironman, MasterofJune and so many others here have been heroes to me.

Oh and before I forget this should help you in future relationships. I found this site linked below and it has helped me already getting over my breakup pains.

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Oh man, I can't wait for that day either. For the first time in my life, I know that day WILL come. I really had to get past that mental hurdle. I am of course doing this for myself, but I feel the same way you feel, I'm doing this for everyone who may read this and may possibly be inspired. I've always tried to do things alone with little success. So, here I am, putting my business out there, where I can have some added pressure to be accountable.

I'm not new here, but haven't been around in a while.

Just wanted to say that I'm so proud of you for taking that first baby step! That's the hardest part, I think - making the decision to make changes, and actually going about finding out how to do it.

You can do this! We'll be here to help and support anyway you need.

Thanks for the encouragement txturtlegirl.

On to todays struggles. I'm a daily weigher and the scale wasn't kind to me today. I've been sticking to my diet and exercise regiment so I know that its probably just water retention. Its still frustrating. I know people will suggest to only weigh myself once a week or something like that, but unfortunately I can't help myself.

Anyway, did my usual weight training and got up to 4 miles (26 minutes) on the stationary bike. It may not seem like much but when i started riding my bike about a week ago, I only did a mile. I got up to 2.5 miles (17 minutes) yesterday and today I just kind of cruised to 4 miles while watching the giants game.

Today has been a good day so far. The sexy beast within is really wanting to come out .


edit: Went back and did another 3.1 miles (20 minutes). So I went from 2.5 miles yesterday to 7.1 miles today. Not too shabby.

edit2: Did another 15 mins, so I ended up doing 61 minutes (9.5 miles).

"I know people will suggest to only weigh myself once a week or something like that, but unfortunately I can't help myself."

Haha, oh man the funny thing is I'm the same way. Its like when we get willpower in some ways (losing weight and exercising) we lose it in other ways (checking the old scale every day).

Anyway good job on your day today. I did well at 45 minutes soon to be an hour when I do the last 15 tonight.

The good thing about stationary bikes for people our size is we get to lose weight and not kill our knees or ankles by running or walking since sitting on these things supports our weight for us.

Sure running and walking might be fine for weight loss but its good to build up and lose weight on these bikes first I'd say.

Good 'ol Crunk. I actually rode my bike, came here and made the above post, then went and read your diary. Its funny how the little things can have a big effect. When I was finished with my biking, I wasn't really tired, surprisingly. So after I read your diary I jumped back on my bike and did another 3.1 miles (20 minutes), just so I could hit that 45 minute mark. Thanks for inspiring man!

Outstanding my brother!!!

Hell you've just inspired me, I'm making my way to my exercise bike now for the last 15 minutes to make up my full hour.

When you get your stamina back from this last ride you did feel free to join me in making the full hour.

Haha, that'd be a good idea for a club name. The Full Hour Club. It'd just be filled with stationary bike riders like us.

Damn you Crunk. I will be hitting my bike for another 15 minutes. I don't know where this energy is coming from. I started riding my bike 8 days ago and did 1 mile (7min), and it wasn't easy. LOL@The Full Hour Club. I like the sound of that.

Completed my cycle.

Good stuff.

Although unlike many others after I complete bike riding I am exhausted.

Its a good feeling though but yeah wish I got the energy boost sometimes that you and JeremyRice report getting from exercise.

Me, I always feel like going to sleep afterwards lol.

Nice Job!! I just finished my last 15 mins also. Its funny you mention that energy boost phenomenon, this is all new to me, first time EVER. I hope it becomes the norm though. I feel great right now. Do you have any idea how much distance you covered over the hour or what your avg speed was? I'm just wondering what your pace is? I think I go at between 9-10 mph which isn't very intense, more steady and constant. Fast enough for me to break a good sweat.

When I first got back into exercising early last year before my relapse into gaining the weight back I started at only being able to do 13 mph but as the weeks passed and the weight fell off I was in the 18-19 mph range.

Seems my legs still retained their power from that time as I am averaging now 17-18 mph on the bike.

Good stuff as it pertains to pacing for sure but sadly I haven't been able to resume my normal amount of time on the bike yet as my legs and feet get too sore after many minutes so I've decided to do my hour each day in 4 fifteen minute increments spread out throughout the day until I lose enough weight where I can do 30 minutes then 30 minutes again finishing out my hour.

My theory is weighing this much probably has something to do with the foot and leg pain but I'm sure when I get to 330lbs I'll be able to go 30-30 again which is so much more convenient to me lol.

See at best I do my exercises in the morning as then I have heard you get a burn going all day but since restarting my weight loss program I've been doing this stuff in the middle of the day which probably isn't as effective.

Gonna try for a morning workout tomorrow or if not exactly morning 1pm sounds good as being early enough in the day to be very effective.

I think my legs would fly off at 19 mph. I don't think I'll be able to approach your pace for a month or two. Anyway, I've been working out in the evening and have been meaning to try and get it done in the morning, as I've also heard it gives your metabolism a nice kick start. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Glad to see you started your diary Imperial. Sounds like you are going to defeat this demon. Realization is the first step and the key to the door.

On the exercise...

You guys are both kicking some serious ass.

As of right now, I can't make room for the ol' stationary bike to do what you guys are doing, so I have to stick to the trail. After the weather changes I am going to have to take the plunge and buy either a stationary bike or a treadmill. My feet and legs don't give me the most trouble right now, but my back has been sore in the mornings. No pain, no gain.

It's good to see you guys feeding off of each other. Keep it up.

Hi there. Just wanted to check out your diary and wish you well in your weight loss. Sounds like you are doing well with your exercise. Keep increasing your intensity as your body adjusts to it. What is your eating like? I don't think you've mentioned that.