I've finally decided to do something. I'm finally going to get off my butt and stop feeling sorry for myself. Today is the day that I start making changes in my life.

I'm tired of being the fat girl. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror thinking, "Why did I let it get to this?"

My husband is deployed, I am stressed, I have a 2 year old that is having behavior problems due to my husband leaving and its driving me crazy. BUT, I stand behind my man and his camoflauge and I am going to stick it out through every step of his journey.

I want to be the Natalie I was BEFORE. I want to look at myself and be confident and feel like I am something.

To all those who will read my diary, I need you. I need you for support to show to everyone that I am going to do this.

I am Natalie. I am 23. I am 5'3". I am 199lbs.

Hi Natalie!! I am so proud of you for wanting a healthier life. I look forward to seeing you get back to that old Natalie.

Do you know when your husband returns? How long has he been gone? I know it won't be easy for you, but I admire you making the committment to change. You can do it! It all starts with Day 1, then one more, and then another...

Welcome to your diary Natalie!

So where are you all stationed? My husband went on a 6 month deployment while I was pregnant with my first son back in 2004, and I got so bored all I found there was to do was eat. I know how it is to go through a deployment, so if you ever need to talk, I am here, along with other military wives i'm sure.

With a little support, I know you can do this! I bet you will look so great when your husband gets back, he wont even recognize you!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Hello Natalie, First off congrats on starting your diary. Also for making the Choice to get healthier in the first place. That's the first step in getting to a healthier place in our lives. Being military wives is a hard job let alone being a mommy at the same time. I know what you mean about the behavior problems and stuff too from personal experience. My son's 3 years old and his daddy has been in and out of his life since he was 4 months old due to being stationed overseas and now currently being deployed for 15 months.

I will try my best to support you in all that you do so you can get to your goals before your hubby gets back. How long is his deployment? Also where are you stationed? We are just over halfway through this deployment and its been rough but I'm working on losing weight to get healthier and surprise my hubby who I will have not seen for almost 10 months by the time I get to see him again. All thanks to the deployments. If you ever have any questions or just need to vent about the military feel free to email me or if you have yahoo or msn messenger you can contact me on those too. ajfavegrl@hotmail.com or ajfavegrl@yahoo.com are my email addy's that I check everyday. I'm also on here at least once a day so you can pm me here too if you'd like.

Good Luck on your journey and hope you find the support you need to get you to them.

Heather

Thank you guys for all your responses. I have no idea when my husband returns due to the nature of his job! I hope it is soon.

I want to let you know that your responses are a definite pick me up!!!!

I also wanted to say that as soon as I got home today, I went and exercised. I made it a game with my son in the jogging stroller and he loved it! I then came home and cooked some chicken. I used olive oil over butter and lightly seasoned it with some rosemary. I also steamed some broccoli. We had a yummy dinner! I watched my portions too. Its a step in the right direction.

If any of you ladies have MSN messenger, my username is natalieogilvie@cox.net

August 28, 2007 7:54pm PST

I made the mistake of getting on the scale. I know I am fully dressed and have wet hair and just ate dinner but seeing the scale read 201 SCARED ME. I really want to cry. I am most afraid that I wont have the will power to go through with my weightloss.

I always say, "well just this one time and I will be okay"

I just ate dinner not too long ago and I feel hungry again. WHY? I JUST ATE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

I feel very discouraged

Hey honey, don't be discouraged! And whatever you do, don't weigh yourself at night with wet hair!!! lol I bet if you weigh yourself in the morning after you've peed and naked with dry hair, you'll be happy again. I can almost promise you.

I hear ya on the why am I hungry i just ate thing. Try to find some low-cal snacks such as fruit, sugar free jello, some of those 100calorie snack packs, etc. Or add more veggies to your dinner. I also find that eating 5-6 small meals a day and lots of lean protein helps to keep my hunger under control. Also, you just started, so your stomach is probably used to more food. It will get used to the smaller portions in a few days.

Great job on the exercise! I think it's great that you killed two birds with one stone--got your exercise in and spent quality time with your little boy at the same time. high five

yes low-cal snacks are such a life-saver

Im on the beginning of my journey, and find myself hungry even an hour after i have ate. My snacks include;

100 cal pretzel packs
100 cal chips ahoy
90 cal pudding
60 cal fruit packs
apples /bananas
15 light chips w/salsa
90 cal granola bars (just come of my many snack options)

i LOVE variety in my diet so knowing i have lots of snacks to choose from keeps me happy. BEFORE i eat them though i drink a bottle of water, and if im still hungry 15 minutes later i go ahead and eat, if im not.. woohoo i saved myself some calories and hydrated myself

The scales can be evil. I weighed myself this morning and was 215.4, and today ive done aerobic dance, walked and eaten well but 6 hours later i was 217.... CRAZY !!

dont let the number get you down and pay attention to the morning number

Yes, I weigh in after the morning pee, and before eating or drinking anything. Ignore any number you get at any other time of day. It's best just not to weigh yourself after that at all. There's no point in it.

yes well like i said some werent listed hehe

I do ensure im stocked on proteins. The snacks i listed are the ones which most often erase my "sweet cravings". I find it hard getting enough protein because im kind of a fussy eater, and the meats i eat regulary are chicken (white meat only), turkey burgers/sausages/breast, pork sausage patties, beef (fillet only).
I know this sounds fussy, and i shouldnt be so fussy on a diet but theyre what i use.

So my average protein daily would include 2 chicken breasts, 1 wheat roll with deli meat, sometimes peanuts, sausage patty+egg.

I know its not enough but im just not a huge fan of meats.

August 29, 2007 6:31am

I weighed myself this morning. I saw the 199 and I felt a bit better. I will be leaving for work soon, I will post again after my afternoon exercise.

Hey there! Glad to see you got in some exercise and made a healthy dinner. It all adds up. Giving up your favorite foods and eating healthy is really going to be difficult at times, but it does get easier, so keep at it. Believe in yourself.

Today was a long day.

I got off work at 12:30pm to go to a parent/teacher conference for my son. I figured since I still had some time afterward, I'd hit the gym. I always had good results with running or walking at a fast pace uphill on the treadmill. I got some nasty charlie horses and switched to the bike. 20 minutes into my exercise, the daycare called and said I had to pick my son up because his eye was goopy. I took him straight to the doctor and of course all he had was a cold.

I felt cheated out of my exercise time but I had to pick him up. I had a sandwich at 3:30 because I hadnt eaten lunch.

We got home and had last nights left overs.

I do feel better about making the effort today though. I really want to look a lot better when my husband gets home.

You don't have to eat meat to get protein. Nuts, cheese and dairy, beans (not green beans), tofu and eggs all have lots of protein in them. That's how vegetarians get their protein.

Glad you were back to 199 this am! You have to feel good about yourself today because you did make a great effort even when life was throwing you curveballs. You just have to take this thing one day at a time.

Hey, do you do any resistance training at your gym? B/c that is a great way to lose weight. It burns calories much more than cardio does, and it keeps you from losing muscle in stead of fat. You don't need to spend hours in the gym. I'd say 30 min a day, 4-5 days a week right now is enough. If you haven't already, get one of the trainers at the gym to help you with some weights. I would do weights 30min 3X a week and do cardio 30min 2X a week. That will get your metabolism going--also, try eating the frequent small meals as well. Keep your house stocked with things like cottage cheese and berries, deli meats and cheese, yogurt, etc so that you have something quick and easy to eat when you don't have lots of time to cook.

Hope this helps you, hon! I'm pulling for you--you CAN do this!!