OMG! You're killing me, I do the same thing with jeans. Now I have 4 new pairs that I can't get my butt into right now, possibly more pairs lerking in the closet. I keep thinking that as soon as I can get rid of a few more pounds, my muffin will be gone and I will have new threads! lol 10 more pounds and I am in like slim! lol Not quite slim, but you know what I mean, I'm in them without worrying about putting on a baggy top to hide the muffin man.

MissJB: Yeah, I was going thru my closet and drawers the other day, found sooo many things that I've bought for future-ness. I'll wear them eventually... I just hope that they aren't considered "retro" or whatever by the time I can lol ah. clothing...

So, the Seether concert was AMAZING! It did get mean of course, as rock concerts usually do, and I woke up the next day feeling like I did a major friggin workout. Man... Anyways, so after the concert was over, I got to meet both Red and Hurt(both amazing bands) and I was pretty excited about that, cuz hey, that stuff NEVER happens to me. Seether of course is way to cool to hang out with the concert patrons, lol. But it was awesome. Better than the first time I saw them. Wednesday I worked 1:30 to close at the store, and my employee and I are doing store resets(ooh joy!) and I'm at the counter getting some new setups ready, and Kelsey is sitting on the floor at the front entrance working on some shelves when these two guys walk in and go, "Do you guys have any hand sanitizer??" They're a bit grungy looking, and Kelsey gives them the dirtiest look I've ever seen, and I'm instantly freaking out inside because it was the lead singer and the bass player for friggin SEETHER!!! AHHH!!! Oh my goodness, I about died.. So I sell them some hand sanitizer, I'm keeping pretty calm, even though inside I'm going nuts, and I asked if I could get their autographs. Kelsey looks at them like, who the hell are these people?? And they go yeah, sure what would you like us to sign?? So, the first flippin thing I grab is my pill case, lol. So they sign my pill case, and they stand there and talk to me for a few minutes before they leave and THEN I about have a heart attack. Holy crap. I was soooo excited. Seriously- of alllll the stores at the mall for one of the best bands to walk into- GNC?? So- woohoo! I got to meet one of the best bands EVER, but damn it! I obviously can't keep that pillcase in my purse now, cuz I don't want the awesomeness to wear off. So I guess I'm keeping my multivitamins in a plastic baggy till I find another pill case as cute as that one was... lame, yeah?

I am also proud to say that I have totally stayed within my calorie budget EVERY DAY this week. Haven't worked out yet, but I will, trust me!!!

Travis: TEN LBS BUDDY!! Come on, where you at man??

Nowwww I'm finally gonna go check on other people... sorry for putting a totally non skinny related story up for everyone to deal with, but I feel that I gotta brag
Later everyone!

its start wieght day im going to post later after my run! Where you at on your start weight? Ten pounds we can do it its gonna be hard but we can do it!

Do you ever look in your mirror and think, damn, I look good today... ? Cuz I do. All the time. And then when I'm at a store, or walking past a window, I totally see my reflection and I think, Oh my god. I'm a fatass. Its so weird to me that I don't feel as fat as I really am. That definately comes across in my personality to I think; I'm not shy, I can talk to pretty much anyone, do pretty much anything, yada yada. But it just takes that ONE reflection to take down my whole day... I'm at Maurices today with a friend and my little sister, and I walk past a mirror and I see NOTHING but fat rolls thru my tshirt. I just wanted to cry.. I felt aweful after that- I even zipped up my hoodie to hide it all. Jesus, its just nuts! I feel good, attractive, whatever, one second, and the next, I'm done for. I'll be alone the rest of my life, I'll be fat the rest of mylife, pretty soon I'll have MacNamara/Troy cutting me off of my couch(remember that one Travis?? Lol)... Eh. I'm just having a depressing moment, I'll be fine tomorrow, but MAN. Throws me off, ya know?
Had a friend in town from Minnesota this weekend, shes leaving on Tuesday, but my weekend was eh, so-so. Didn't eat fantastically, but not as bad as I usually do. So overall I am pretty proud of that. I'm trying to get that same friend on this site- I know she'd love it here to, so heres hopin, yeah? As for the rest of the weekend OTHER than food, it was pretty damn fun. I got hit on by a couple guys(again reaffirming that I don't feel as fat as I really am), watched my friends get reallllly drunk while for the first time in a long time I did not get drunk. I was toasty, but overall pretty decent. Cut down on alcohol- good! Less calories. Less money spent. Thats a very good thing..

Anyway, in order for me to get real serious about this, I do just need to post my fat weight. I'm gonna weigh myself tomorrow at GNC and post it tomorrow night. It won't be pretty, but my fat rolls aren't pretty right now either, and I need for that to change.

Everyone have a great day, and I'll talk to ya all soon!

GNC will weigh you?

Tony: lol, I work at GNC and we have a scale there- most of the GNC's do, but its freakishly accurate(unfortunately) and I don't have a scale at home, so thats pretty much why I was gonna weight myself there.

However- due to the fact that I had so much paperwork to catch up on, I completely spaced weighing myself! What an idiot... I even thought about it a good ten times throughout the day to- "don't forget to weigh yourself"... Over and over again. Lot of good that did me

Food was pretty fantastic today, verrrry proud of myself. I'm actually taking a break right now from my kitchen cupboards. Blah. We are almost finished with all the cupboard doors, so I go to put the new hardware on them, and guess what? All the doors were so close together that none of the brackets are gonna be in the same spot... Just can't make em fit!! So I needed some vent time..

Later everyone!

*cough* numbers *cough*

lets go Jess get that start so we can do this we are already into the month a good bit and we are going to be pressed to make this goal. Get on it!!!!

Plus when you get aht start weight down and start to see progress it has to help make you feel better about yoruself!

Tomorrow I work, so weighing in is something that WILL be done... I honestly don't know why I have such a problem with the actual number... Its not like I'm the only one on this site with a huge amount of hate for a number, but wow. You put it up there and then its just THERE.
I am gonna post some pics tho- I was looking thru my pictures, and I gotta say- there are NO full length shots. I need some of those... But the way before to the after to the now, theres pretty noticeable changes in my face.. hopefully with lots more to go.

http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l1...s_393/jess.jpg
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l1.../jessbones.jpg
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l1..._393/dec05.jpg
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l1..._393/sep06.jpg
http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l1...393/medad2.jpg

Ooookkk, so those links didn't end up in the right order, so Dec05 is the first one, thats the picture that made me realize how fat I'd gotten.. at that point I was like 280-285ish? it was bad. The next ones labled Jess and Jessbones are from June, and at that point, I had gotten down to 235. Sept06 I had gained about 6 lbs back due to the "oh man! I'm a really hot fat girl now, so I don't need to work out as much!" attitude I got. Me&dad and my avatar pic are the two most recent pictures I have... After the end of September last year, those that read my diary and kinda know about the ordeal with a stupid guy(BECAUSE of my I'm-so-hot attitude) I gained right at 20lbs back... I don't know what I'm at now, because I've been doing a lot more drinking than I should be doing, and I also haven't worked out in almost TWO MONTHS. Oh man. Slap me in the face!!

ANyway, even tho I didn't have my weight yesterday or today, I hope these pics give an idea of how far I HAVE made it, small amount tho it may be...

258 is the aweful, horrible, tragic number Luckily, noone reads my journal, lol, so that will apparently be a number that only I have to deal with! So, that means that from my highest weight ever, I am still down 27lbs. However, that ALSO means that from the lowest I got last year(235) I am UP 23lbs... How crappy.
I gotta lose at LEAST 58lbs in five months... Thats 11.5lbs per month, which seems fairly steep. Im just gonna hafta get hardcore on this! It kills me that I managed to gain back 23lbs in a year. I guess I didn't even realize(other than the not working out) that I was being that bad.
Well, I guess I just keep going, work harder, yada yada. I'll be weighing myself a lot now, lol, just cuz thats what I seem to do- check and check and check until I'm reassured that I'm not getting any bigger. Bleh.

I read I read!!

Sorry im not as active as I once was I am so stressed at work and it is really taking its toll on me! But yeah you have a steep goal but you can do it. Its going to a rough road though. I mean one thing right away for the next five months cut out all booze like entirely taht will shave a few pounds a month I think without you doing anything! I may be exaggerating but yeah.

I will keep reading don't worry you rock champ keep your head up!

I ate chocolate today. Not a ton, but it was there. On the very sadly strange upside- I was sooo busy at work today that I sorta spaced eating.. At about 4pm I realized that I was friggin starving! So I had an Ostrim jerky(beef and ostrich- sounds disgusting, but they are soooo fabulous) and an Oh Yeah! wafer bar: 80cals for the jerky and 14g protein, and 210 for the protein bar with 14g protein also. ANNNNDDDD that was it. So even with all of my chocolate, I still finished right at my calories for the day- even if sugars and fat were high *sigh*... I started taking chromium tho, and I gotta say it REALLY does make you want less sugar. Today was the first day in three days that I had, or even wanted, chocolate... So all in all, a fairly promising sign.
Travis: I know your right! No more booze! Seriously- is a little lemon water gonna kill me?? lol.. It WILL be hard, but dammit, its gonna happen this time. I refuse to wear a sleeveless dress with my bingo wings. *shiver*

So I had a fairly decent weekend... Drank a little to much beer on Friday night, but for once did NOT have any on Saturday. And yes, that IS an accomplishment
I'm hoping for a busy week at GNC, the busier it is, the less I eat of the bad stuff, but if I get stressed bout the numbers, grrr, bad things usually happen, tho with a 58lb goal in five months, I'm gonna be working reallllllly hard to not endulge in a lot of crap.
Also- I started taking chromium picolinate cuz its good for helping with sugar cravings, and I can honestly say that while I've had a little bit of the sugary stuff in the past few days, it hasn't been the usual chocolate craving where I scout the house or actually drive to the grocery store JUST for chocolate... So I'm very glad to say that its working for me. YAY!!
Gonna pack a gym bag this week... nervous tho for some reason... how weird! I used to go to the gym every night, and lately just the thought of going puts me into a panic mode... I reallllly can't explain it.
Well, off to bed, have a great Monday everyone!

Cute pics! Looking good Jess! How is the chromium picolinate going? I took that a long time ago, and from what I can remember, it worked great.

Wow, I haven't been on in a while, oops The chromium was working, I was eating good, working out, actually lost seven pounds, then just stopped... lame, I know. I don't come on here very often anymore either because(pardon the rant) I don't feel like this is a "community" anymore. No matter how often I try to support people I get nothing in return, and for some stupid reason that actually REALLY depresses me! lol, I know, I'm a crybaby, but isn't that the point of this website?? I realize you can't help everyone all the time, I do get that... but man! I think I might just use this to post my shit and be done with it every night. Blah blah blah, yeah, I know...
Anyway, I found a new gym buddy. Given the fact that tomorrow is New Years Eve, I will NOT be working out, nor is the gym even gonna be open, so I luck out a little But I will get in there... It was so depressing today- I went thru all the cute clothes I bought when I lost forty pounds and NONE of them fit comfortably.. Made me very sad. I need to change it now, cuz I can't afford to buy more fat clothes, lol.