Here I sit by my self, (my wife is out playing bingo). Food is calling me, I want to scream, cry, quit, shoot my self (not really). I don't want to eat, but I want to eat. I'm just want to eat to live, not live to eat. Can I ever change? Is there hope for me. I am crying. Why do I want to eat when I'm alone. I would be embarssed if some one saw me eating as much as I do. Yet why am I not embarsse the people see the way they look. I'm just sad right now. I'm so upset with myself.

chip

I made it through the evening without eating, & I'm OK now I guess if your really hungrey just wait a few hours & everything will be OK.
I stayed within my calories today.

I Walked 2 miles this morning.

Really have not been hungrey today. Just have wanted to eat bad. Today it was all a head game. Don't know how many calories. The only bad thing was having mexican food tonight. The good was I did not have all the good things on my burrito, the good things being, cheese, sour cream, & avacado. At lunch I had my turkey sandwich dry & no cheese. So I think I did pretty good.

I went for a bike ride 2.5 miles.

Have wanted to eat today. Or should I say eat things that I should not eat. Have stayed under my 2000 calories today. Walked 2 miles.

Chip

Had a good day, felt pretty good. Hungrey, but it did not bother me today. I was under my 2,000 calories so doing good. Even though it has been tough going so far.

Rode bike 3.5 miles.

Heya Chip...Im sorry you have been down adn cryign and feeling as you have been - i am however happy to see you feeling better and meeting or coming in below your cal range

You did this once before you can totally do this agian

cinderelly, Thanks, I'll most likely think I can do it in a couple of more weeks.

I went into McDonalds today to ge a grilled chicken sandwich, with no sauce. I open my sandwich & there is sauce, I was so mad. I was to far to take it back, & had no time. I ate it, because I left my house at 6:15 this morning & should have been back for breakfast, but I did not have time. Not a big thing but what is so hard about not putting mayo on somthing.

I did have a good day all together. I told my wife I was going to walk this evening. Then I changed my mind. About 7:30 she said are you going on your walk. I did not let on that I wasn't. So I left the house & went to the bakery. Just kidding.

2.2 mile walk

Ive been following your progress in the weight thread - congrats on your weight down - your doing this agian chip - keep up the great work even though it is emotional

Long day started work at 7:00 AM, just got done and its 11:40 PM.
I finished my first week, it feels good to get the first one done. I'm ready to eat but I want sleep more. So good night.

Start Weight 289- Lbs.
Today Weight 278 Lbs.

11 lbs.

Chip

Had a good day. Stayed within my calories & did a 2.5 mile walk

Chip

Wow I can't believe I'm done working & its only 2:00 PM. I don't know what I will do with myself. I think I will chase my wife around the house.
Yesterday I did not get done working until 12:30, which is really today.

Yesterday I had a weight gain of 2.25 Lbs. that makes me reallly mad. Then today I did not lose a single ounce. I can scream.

Chip

aaahhh bear with it - ya know the risks and frustrations of weightin in daily...what did ya eat anything with sodium or alot of sodium ??? Did you get your water in - it could be a number of things you knwo that...with exceptions to workign lots and long hours and to the 2.25 gain - Im glad to see all is going well and you are happy to have week one under your belt...You are doing this!!!

cinderelly, I know it is sodium intake & nothing else. It really dosen't bother me. I just like to see the scale go down one pound a day. Thats not to much to ask is it.

waked 2.5 miles

Stayed under my 2,000 calories. We had a early dinner about 3:00, it makes a long night without eating. I will most likely have some watermelon.
I would much rather have popcorn with peanut M&M'S in them. Also a Mounds bar sounds really good. It's hot here so I should throw in some ice cream with chocolate syrup.

So I think I will skip the watermelon.

Chip

The scale finally went down. So I feel better. Did my bike ride this morning. My wife made a big breakfast, I did really good, I had one egg, biscuit, no butter, with sugar free jelly, 1/2 cup of potatoes, one piece of bacon. I think thats good.

bike - 5.65 miles

Chip

Not with the diet, the diet has been gone.
The good thing is, I have found other ways to make money in Real Estate, since home sales are down 60% compared to a year ago. Anyway I started this other little income in Feb. 2007. Just a way to bring in any kind of income. Getting more & more business as time goes by. I'm up until midnight alot working.
Anyway my wife does'nt work. I asked her at least 3 months ago to help. If she had to work 3 hours a week that would be a lot & she would complain. I kept telling her to help me or go get a job. Well I came to the realization that I don't have a marriage after 29 yrs. Well last sunday I sat her down & I put the shoe on the other foot, saying if it was reversed how would you feel.
Monday she said what do you want me to do. She has been working all day long ever since.
Since I started this little side line work in Feb. I have never turned down any work. The most orders I have ever recieved in a week was 30 & that was only for one week. I have been averaging about 20 orders a week.

Well guess what this week we recieved 48 orders. I could have done it with out my wifes help. But it would have been 18 hours a day. And with 48 orders a week we can live on that.

Thank God my wife does care about us. I was very sad for a few months.

Well anyway back to eating well & exercising.

I guess I will have to weigh in tommorrow.

Chip