TheFunnyGirl Day By Day

TheFunnyGirl · April 27th, 2008, 07:19 PM

Ok well I have decided that another way to help myself get through all of this is to write. Write about how I'm progressing with my weight loss, and maybe in the process, uncover why I harbor this inner loathing. I want to love myself inside and out, and I think I need to get it all out in order to start over.

Disclaimer: I'm going to ramble. I will go off on crazy tangents, and type whatever seems to pop into my head. So if you are reading this, I'm sorry in advance, but maybe, just maybe, the craziness that runs through my head is the same as yours and we can help each other =0)

Ok so the basics:
I'm 22 years old. 5'6" and currently 177 lbs. My heaviest EVER (on Super Bowl Sunday was 184 lb) I was always the chubby kid, and never happy with my body. It doesn't help that the scale is not my friend. I've always been told by family, friends, and doctors that I weigh much more than I look like I weigh. So I struggle between number goals and size goals. I want to see small numbers on the scale, but maybe I should just shoot for a dress size instead. I'll just have to see how this all goes...

I'm the youngest of 3 girls. My oldest sister has had some issues with weight. I think she's a size 14 or 16 but she was blessed by God in the chest department, and has a killer hour glass shape. (I on the other hand, was not blessed in that department! But God must've been tired after blessing me with an amazing personality, great sense of humor, and insane intelligence! haha I really am a humble person...I'm just a big goofball!) My other sister has never had problems with weight. She's petite and is quite small. She and I workout often together (by the way, it kind of sucks working out with someone smaller than you! grr)
I have amazing parents. My mom is a knockout and always has been. She has Tina-Turner-worthy legs...alas I didn't inherit those! My dad has gone up and down in his weight a lot over the past 10 years or so, but he and my mom have started going to the YMCA almost every night, and trying to eat better. Last I heard, he's down 20lbs and in a bunch of notches on the belt! I'm sooo proud of him, but it's hard to see him drop it so fast while I chip away slowly.

I felt like I needed to add that smiley because it reminds me of my dad! Love him!

Ok so I could go on for hours about my life, but I've got to save something for another day right?? So I'll just end with the reason I'm doing this. Why now? It's a culmination of a million things that all came together in a cosmic explosion, and I found myself realizing that if I don't change myself, inside and out, I'll drown. My low self-esteem, my super modelesque friends, my overly supportive (meaning telling me that I'm gorgeous and fine the way I am) family and friends that only seem to hinder me, being single for soo long after being hurt soo badly, and the constant pressure by the world to be their shallow and stereotypical version of "beautiful". Funny thing is...I think I fall into that same group right now since I can't seem to love myself the way I am! But I see beauty in everyone else, no matter what size, just not myself. But I'll be changing that! Yup. That's why I'm doing this.

TheFunnyGirl Day By Day

Record your trials, accomplishments and moods during weight loss. Looking back on your diary, you may gain valuable insight. Share your notes; let others benefit from your experience as you learn from theirs

TheFunnyGirl Day By Day