I know I'm new but.. reading all of these diaries/journals made me want to try this out. I hope to get something out of this. It's nice seeing that other people are having the same problem as I do and that I'm not alone.

I figure I'll start this out with a little history.

When I was 15-16, I was around 160lbs. Back then, I thought I was fat. Wow, looking back now, I wish I took better care of myself. Around that time, my parents were moving constantly back and forth from NC and GA, and I had to start over with new friends, and I was kind of tired of it. Instead, I turned to food, and by the time I was 20-21, I was around 200-210.

I'm now 26, at 240 lbs.

Around August 2007 - October 2007, I lost 30 lbs. I was able to do it by not eating as much rice (I curse myself for being asian! lol) and lessening my food intake. I didn't consume as much sugar either. I ate fruits and gave myself treats every now and then.

I was so proud of myself. But then I moved to California.. and gained it allllllll back... Again, mainly it was because of stress.. and homesickness.

I met a guy through the internet, let's call him.. Edward. Edward and I have known each other for a long time, almost 8 months, and have decided to meet. I'm so nervous -- he has seen my pics (body pics as well), but he doesn't know I've gained 30 lbs.. or maybe he does, not sure (i've mentioned it more than a few times that I've gained weight).. He tells me he loves me for who I am, and he doesn't want me to change.. but really.. I'm afraid when we do meet this month, he's going to reject me. He is of "normal" size....

I'm not really doing this for him. Maybe a part of me wants to, but really.. I'm doing this for me. I want to feel sexy inside and out. I feel sexy inside.. but outside.. I really don't like what I see.

SO! I hope to get motivation out of writing what I'm doing/eating/etc... to keep going towards my goal! I'll post all the things I eat/do towards my goal.. and thoughts.. etc. :X

I figure to answer some questions!

Current weight/height : 240 lbs / 5'2"

Ideal weight : 150lbs, so .. 90 lbs.. sigh >_<!

What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? 1-2 years

How do you want to accomplish your goal? I need to eat right, I need to stop skipping breakfast and lunch. Eat little rice! And low sugar. Try to at least walk/jog for 30 mins a day. I need to get off my fat butt and do it!

Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? My parents.. they're always very supportive of what I do.

How realistic is your goal? Right now.. I don't feel too hopeful.. I've given up, but I'll try my best.

When will you start? TODAY!!!

At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? Hopefully... 215-220

Anyway.. thanks for reading ! Wish me luck!

Hi Amaya!!
Nice to have you here. Where did you move from? I admire your resolve and I'm sure you'll lose! What are your plans for exercising? Also, I have found FitDay - Free Weight Loss and Diet Journal to be a fabulous resource, it can help you calculate exactly how many calories your body expends everyday, so you can figure out how much you want to eat from there.

Good luck! We are here for you!

xoxo
Carrie

HI Amaya, You are off to a good start. Lots of really nice people here for support. I look forward to seeing you work it! Never give up on yourself, you are worth it. There will be ups and downs, but if you just keep doing your best, it won't be long before you can look back and see the pounds you've lost.

Just wanted to WELCOME you to the forum!! Just keep going, and take it one day at a time..thats all any of us can do!!

Hey Amaya, just wanted to stop by and see how your doing?

Hey Amaya,
Congrats on your new start! Welcome to the forums

Dani

Hey guys!

Thank you for the support! I was so busy yesterday that I forgot to update my journal.

Let's see...

Breakfast, I had coffee.. and I forgot to eat. :\ I really need to start eating breakfast, it's a crucial part of the day to make sure I have something in my tummy. Eep.

Lunch, I had Fettucine Alfredo and I think I ate too much LOL ... No soda either (yay).

Dinner, I had chicken soup w/ rice (gah!)

I was so busy and ended up not being able to jog or exercise at all

Speaking of.. I need to buy a weight scale. Mine broke (Hahahaha..) recently but I weighed myself at a friends house about a week ago. So.. yep.

carrie3101 - Thanks for the link, it was quite helpful To answer your question, I'm from NC (that's really what I consider my home state), I was pretty much raised there, but my ethnicity is Filipina. Loving the weather here in California though, I must admit