I had a great 30-something minute work-out! I worked those problem areas and I know I'm gonna hurt bad tomorrow. The trainer I had today was young and sweet as could be, but he's leaving. My usual trainer is grumpy and moody. I'm going to try a new guy on Thursday. I hope he's nice. I just didn't know what I was missing. Having an encouraging trainer makes so much difference.

Scale still read 198 this morning. That was encouraging. I would like to stay away from that thing for a week at a time, but I can't. Every morning, I have to know. Just me!

Scale said 198.2 this morning. Woo hoo! I need that encouragement b/c it feels like my muscles have been replaced with shattered glass. I hurt so bad. I hurt in places I don't think people should hurt, lol! Ugh, but I asked for it. I don't know what I can do today. I meet with another trainer tomorrow and I don't want to be stiff, but I also don't know if I can work out today and risk being immobile tomorrow. Maybe a walk?

I AM SO PSYCHED!

I am psyched enough to type a sentence in all caps. *gasps* I'm psyched enough to wear a skirt I only wore two or three times last summer. I'm psyched enough to run in here and spill the beans. Woo hoo!!! I'm excited.

And why is that?

I met with a new trainer today. He's been in the biz as long as I have been breathing the air on this Earth. [[25 years]] He's kind and motivating. He's going to make sure things get done; things my other trainer has neglected to do since January. I was finally weighed and taped today. I need to chart my food for him and he's going to work on a diet. He wants me to see improvement by July. Me too, since I'll be going to the beach for a week! He has given me more complete answers in one session than I got the whole time with that other dude. My goal, standing at 5'4 is to weigh 150 lbs. So, here's to new beginnings and a 50 lb challenge!

Excellent Sweetie - it is so good to see and hear and read your enthusiasm!!!

Looks like life feels like getting in the way of happiness. I talked to my husband today. He was supposed to come home for 2 weeks in October. That has been postponed until February! The last time I saw my hubby was in January. This sucks more than I can express. I had to cry. War is so *$#@!%&* terrible! I hate it!

I'm sorry to hear that your hubby won't be home as expected. It sucks.

But, please tell him thank you from me...and thanks to you for your sacrifice in living w/o your husband home with you.

Thank you. It means a lot to me every time I hear this. Especially when I get a little thanks too. I won't write a sermon on how hard it is on me or him or the kids. Just, thank you.

Just got back from the gym. I did 30 minutes on the skier. I'd go 2 minutes at a good pace, then spend one minute "racing." One of the trainers I saw told me to try it. 5 minute cool down from that. Then I did 10 + 3 minute cool down on a bike. I was too tired to keep on the skier! Grand total of 48 minutes. Not bad!

My new trainer wants me in the gym 5 days a week. Next we'll go over the dreaded diet. Ugh. I know I need to do this, though. I was watching AOL (?) news about these women in bikinis who had lost over 100 lbs. [[It was weird, but it got the point across.]] And I'm pretty sure that they all had to diet. You know they exercised b/c they were in bikinis. There is no way to drop a 100 lbs just by dieting and expect that skin to go back where it should. My dad dropped a good 150 lbs and his legs embarrass him. He says he looks like an elephant. I don't want to know, so I take his word for it. *ramble ramble* I'm sure we have all thought about this.

I have a million things to do, so I best get up and do them. It just feels so good to sit.

Good work SoSel!

That trainer sounds like he knows what he's doin. Keep working hard and don't weigh yourself too much. In my experience it can be a downer to weigh-in too often and not see the results you want fast enough. If you eat right and keep working at the gym though, your hard work WILL show.

Great job on the workouts! That new trainer sounds like a really good one. Looks like you have your own personal drill seargant..lmao!

Yes, you will have to diet my dear..lol. But the more you exercise, the more you can eat.

Well, today and tomorrow I claim for a holiday. My arms are still sore from Tuesday, but my legs aren't doing so bad. And my abs hurt, but I didn't expressly use them, so who knows? And, to define holiday, I mean from the gym. I'm not just going to sit at the computer all day. I'll find something active to do and report it. I'm also tracking food, like I'm supposed to, so that's gonna help me behave. Yay for changes!

I don't know if it's the coffee, the almost 100 degree weather, or just me, but I'm feeling a lot better today. It makes sense. I can't be sad about my hubby all the time. The army is constantly changing things. It may get changed back. And, as my friend put it last night, it's not like we are happy together. All the time apart makes me think that it could work out. And, then, I really do have to remember all the "bad stuff." *shrugs* I need to get it together.

I still haven't picked out a college major for next semester. I'm running low on time. I haven't filled out financial aid forms or anything. I just wanna make some money honey so I can support myself. I was thinking about massage therapy. Anyway, I change my majors so often that eventually I'm going to run into problems. I thought about EMT. I don't know what to do! I did a semester of paralegal, a semester of health.... ugh! 2 semesters of general studies... I have great grades, it's not a matter of that. I can't decide. And part of me wants to quit, stay home, raise babies, but it sucks [for me] and I know it. Of course, I think you guys know they told me at 22 I couldn't have [anymore] kids. So I might as well move on to the next thing. Be a career woman. I want a flexible job so I can raise the kids that I have. I'm going to a tech college. Any ideas?

Tomorrow kicks off 5 days worth of working hard at the gym. I may even have to start that dreaded diet. Tracking my food so far has really payed off. I'm conscientious about what I'm eating b/c I won't lie to my trainer. I laid off tea and soda. I have coffee in the a.m. and water the rest of the day. This morning, after several days of lingering at 200, I was 197.6! All last year, with all the work I was doing, I only got down to 189 for a few quick days. I know this isn't easy and I don't expect to see the world's fastest results. Nevertheless, I dream about losing the weight. I want to be physically fit. Maybe one day I can run a short race or hike a mountain or have the confidence to lead a Bible study. So much seems to hinge on dropping the weight. I would like to be confident with who I am now and all that I can do, but this seems to be a progressive journey. I mean, really, is dropping 50 lbs going to make it easier to sing in the choir? I don't know. It just seems like a magic cure-all.

My Trainer's Idea of 2 Week Diet
[[That I will do my absolute best to follow.]]

BF- 1 muffin or oatmeal and I can have my coffee
MS- 2 slices pineapple
L- 6 oz. of chicken or turkey breast, tuna or other fish with salad or some green vegetable
AS- small apple
D- 6 oz. of the same meat from lunch [that, and that alone]

I guess this is supposed to send some survival instinct into fat-blasting mode. More than likely, I'll just feel like crap for a while. If I start tomorrow [need to get "supplies" today], I will finish up on the 24th. At which point he creates another eating plan. I leave for the beach on the 30th. He thinks I could lose 12-15 lbs in 2 weeks. Probably water weight...

Too many letters and numbers. Gwar.

Mon- 45 minutes cardio on elliptical skier
Tues- 30 minutes training, concentrating on abs and upper body, then 30 more minutes cardio on the skier, and stretching
Wed- 45 minutes cardio on elliptical skier (so flippin' sore it hurts to get in and out of my car!)

Yesterday I started that diet. I was so hungry I thought I should just go to sleep to stave off the pain. I chewed sugar-free gum, drank a ton of water, and just went with the flow. It's Day two. I eat old-fashioned oatmeal to fill me up in the a.m. It gets harder at night, so I try to stretch out my eating. I'll be alright, except my daughter's birthday party falls in the diet time frame. Darn it!

Scale read 195.6 this morning. YES!!! I had just enough battery power for it to tell me. It flashed 195.6, then said "L0". Talk about your motivation!

I'm sore, hungry if I think about it, but I had enough energy, through the pain, to super-clean my living room yesterday. It's weird. I don't want to eat so restricted for the rest of my life, but it's obviously good for you. Craziness. Makes me wonder why I justified carbs (athletes need them, right? And I go to the gym.), the occasional visit to Captain D's (I love shrimp!), diet soda (knowing how bad it is), dessert (gym, again. Why work out if I can't eat?), etc. What a journey!

This is why I'm trying so hard. To go from this:



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