Yeah well yesterday I didn't get that much in which I'm not too happy about. Today, I am going to the gym and I really hope to whip it out. My mother put everything into perspective for me and told me "HEY YOU WERE SICK! GET OVER IT!" She yells that at me. She's good for the psyche haha

I hope this week to have a BIG loss, that is why I'm working so hard. I really want to do this. I have new motivation, too. One of my oldest friends whom I haven't seen in over a year is getting married in June, so everyone I grew up with is going to be there!!!! I want to look HOT when I go there! One of my best friends is going to a wedding this weekend, and she *WAS* a size 2 last time everyone saw her and now she *IS* a size 4, so it has been HILARIOUS watching her freak out and try to get down into a 2 for the past month. I loved it. I mean, it is great knowing that no matter what size, people still freak out. She's absolutely gorgeous, but she wanted to be smaller and it has been fun going to the gym with her. Hopefully she'll still be my gym buddy after the wedding.

BUT YES, you DO need to come in here more often! I need to go visit YOU more often. I have been stuck in my own little corner for too long!

Good hearing from you!!!!!! I'll tell you how Water for Elephants goes, hopefully it is as good as everyone says it is!!

I get these Jillian Michaels emails everyday during the week to get me motivated. Yes, the same trainer from the Biggest Loser! Basically she gives out little tidbits and helps you with your goals. Completely free and great because they are short and to the point and work! Anyways, I decided to post one of her emails on here because it really relates to me. It was entitled "The Negativity Police" and sometimes I need someone to tell me QUIT BEING NEGATIVE!!!

I'll be back on to post food and gym activities later. I'm not going out this weekend so I'll be in a chipper go getter mood for the next couple of days!! ALONE TIME!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The Negativity Police

Is your inner voice a trash-talker? If you've tried and failed to reach your fitness goals in the past, negative thoughts might have been what held you back. Want to succeed this time? Get your journal (or log on to your online Fitness Diary). It's time to get some of those thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do you have a negative self-image?

Do you constantly say things like "I'm fat" or "I'm ugly"? Do you pick yourself apart and beat yourself up when you look in the mirror?

2. Do you lack self-confidence?

Do you doubt your ability to achieve your goals, weight-related or otherwise? Do you dwell on your perceived limits or fears? Do you doubt your ability to accomplish the things you want to accomplish?

3. Do you feel powerless?

Do you feel as if you have no control over your life, or do you rely on excuses like "I'm genetically predisposed to being overweight"?

4. Do you label yourself in self-deprecating ways?

Do you think and talk about your failure to lose weight as a foregone conclusion? Do you refer to yourself mockingly (or not!) as a stereotype — the happy/funny fat person in the room? Is your e-mail address "fatso@blank.com"?

Now think about your responses. How would you describe the tone of your answers? Are they affirming and constructive, or downbeat and destructive? Want to turn your thinking around? The following question will help you understand why you have been propagating these destructive thoughts and behaviors so that we can cut them out at the root.

5. How is this negativity hurting you?

Is what you say about yourself really the truth? Or is it a defense mechanism? And if so, against what? Are you just making complicated excuses? How does this kind of negativity help you achieve your goals? The answers to these questions should help you start to see what's at the root of your negative thinking.

Now go back and answer the five questions again, and force yourself to use only positive terms. It can be hard to let go of these negative thought patterns. Often, they're the result of years of self-loathing and your internalizing of the negative opinions and judgments of others, but you can do it. Remember, knowledge is power. Next time one of those negative thoughts crops up, you'll have the awareness to cut it down.

Yes I will make an honest effort to get over here more oftenIve been gettingg better with diaries it is just so hard...

That is great abt all the gym time, does going wi9th a friend help with the long sessions or have you always done such big long sessions, I do however remeber you worked out hard and lost well in teh other challenge.Just goes to show you what hard work adn determination does...

Thatis interesting. I have a few friends that are alot bigger than me...and one of them always says well it is easier for you.I HATE THAT!!!LOL, I always reassure her that i need to work super hard t0o drop any amount of weight...and they drop weight faster cuz they are bigger.That always annoys me thou when she says that.And even thou i am at a weight they would love to be at I am at a weihgt im totally uncomfy with...

I find most ppl arent comfy with themselves no matter there sizes, like I mean those of us trying to loose weight.

Im at work at the moment so I will come back and read your other post and post to it in awhile here

hey hey buckeye!
hmmm i seem to be on the negative side...
just a wee bit... its not nearly as bad as
i used to be =T
things are changing for us =D

Thanks for the welcoming message ! I just read your diary and it is awesome! You are a fabulous writer! Have you ever thought of putting your experiences in book form? I'll bet you would do very well ! I know we would all support you ! Thanks again ! I too am so happy when someone replies! It feels like people care what happening in your journey and I really do care about their's. Thank you!

I completely agree. I hope to one day reach a weight where I am completely comfortable with myself. I don't want to be thinking about all of this forever!! I hope work went well!!!!!!!!


HEY! Trying to snap out of being negative is SOOOOOO HARD! Anytime that someone kicks my ass out of it feels great. I hope you had a good day!

Awww thanks girl! I doubt anyone would want to read my blather, but it is nice that you think so! haha I hope everything is going well with you and good luck!!!!!!! Can't wait to read more from you!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh my glorious weekend has begun!! I'm so excited!! Went to the library today and completed some reading that HAD to be done, worked out, made dinner, took a long shower and now I'm changing my sheets of my bed. New sheets are like God saying "hello Buckeye. Long day?"

One of my best friends ending up getting the internship she wanted to move back down to Columbus. YAY It is a year long internship, pays real well and I can't wait to have her! However, she and another friend want me to move in with them. I don't know. On one hand I should. My parents pay for my apartment and they have kindly been hinting at how high the rent is. However, I don't know if I could live with people again!! I love having MY SPACE and not sharing. I know that sounds completely greedy, but I love coming home and it being dead silent. I am around my friends all of the time. I go out with my friends almost every night. I rarely spend time at my apartment, so when I do, like this weekend, I just want it to be me time. If my financial aid comes through, I might just say no to moving out because then I won't have to pay for school and get an awesome grant. Then my parents will LOVE me and pay for my rent Sneaky.

Besides that, I had a great dinner. Since it is Lent, I can't eat meat on Fridays anymore (dear Chicken, I missed you...) so I had a shrimp stir fry. It was DELICIOUS. Yummmm. It had onions, garlic, tomatoes, pasta, spinach, and shrimp all together in olive oil and spices and it was awesome. I then washed it down with some iced tea and for desert had thin mints. Sweet, succulent thin mints.............Oh those girl scouts are EVIL!

Well, I'm off to watch some movies and snuggle in to my couch. My neighbor might come up to join in on the fun since she is tired from work, however, I'm not holding my breath. haha

Have a good night!!!

GYM:
45 minutes elliptical (didn't get up to what I wanted.....)
30 minutes ARMS
30 minutes ABS and CORE
TOTAL: 1 hour 45 minutes

FOOD:
Breakfast: Carrot juice and protein shake
Lunch: Tortilla, 1 Babybel, Blackberries, 35 cal bread with 1 tbsp peanut butter
Dinner: shrimp dish and Iced Tea
Desert: Thin mints...my reason for living

I see your point on the Twilight movie. I guess I'm willing to overlook some stuff if something else impresses me. I really just liked the Collins family and thought that the way they painted the vampires was very cool. As for the rest of the story line...yea it was a bit simple. But I figured they targeting teens as an audience and as a teen romance movie I know alot of teenage girls LOVED it, lol. Hence all the t-shirts and posters out in all the hip mall stores and Walmart at the moment. I'm pretty picky with some categories of movies but then I'll watch semi-crap and love it in others...go figure. Like I said though, I'll watch any zombie or vampire movie...no matter how bad. In fact with zombie movies seems the cornier the better, lol. My hubby is way into kung fu type movies, really corny ones and I've never liked them. And I can't stand any of them where the english is put in and their mouths keep moving after they're doine talking...alot of old Jackie Chan movies do that and it drives me nuts. But he finally got me hooked on some of the newer films when "Hero" with Jet Li and also "House of Flying Daggers" came out. Have you seen them? The way they are filmed is beautiful...I was so into Hero that I forgot I was reading at all. My hubby gave me a bad time when he brought it up and asked me when I learned japanese cuz I didn't remember the subtitles, lol.

Oh that's awesome about your friend moving back And I completely understand about living alone. Another great thing I remember about it was having things be exactly where you left them when you get home. Amazing how much harder it is to find stuff when somebody else lives there too.

That's hilarious! I haven't seen those movies, I'm not a Kung Fu kind of girl but I'll go check 'em out of the library if you can vouch for them!! I was the same way with Pan's Labrynth! By the middle of the movie I understood Spanish and was following the story like there weren't any subtitles!

It is amazing. It is also amazing to have your mess be your mess. It is a lot easier than having someone else's mess become your mess. UGHHHHHH cleaning was always the hardest because you would just get so bitter cleaning up another person's filth. Yuck.

SOOOOOOOOOO........

Last night I finished Water for Elephants in FOUR HOURS!!! It was a great book. It had a great pace. It was funny (I lol'ed), it was sad (I cried) and it was suspenseful. Definitely would recommend it for a quick read!!!

ahhhhahaha... omgosh i totally do the same thing! i get way into movies and dont even notice subtitles... haha i remember drinking back in germany... and i swear i totally understood the german teenagers i was with! it was grrreat! (yes i am 18... but in germany its legal to drink and smoke at 16 =P )

i havent watched twilight... i just am never happy with movies of books... it just never makes me happy... D: hope you are doing well today...

my day was pretty awful... =T but im over it... and its totally okay now... hehh.... D: i really really am... hahaha... and omgosh i would love to live alone... because you cant blame anyone but yourself if the house gets dirty... and no cleaning up after other people.

That is so funny! When I lived in Italy I saw one movie, and it was with ITALIAN subtitles and it was in English (I think it was Pirates of the Caribbean) and it was great watching all of the Italians get into it. In Italian movie theaters, they can smoke and drink and yell and there basically is NO decorum! But when I drank there, I thought I understood them and spoke amazing Italian (which was all false! haha)

I'm sorry your day was awful Dust yourself off girl and you hop back on the train!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for stopping in!

Went to the gym today and had a quick little workout, but really intense. I did HIIT for 30 minutes (well, actually 20 minutes of HIIT and 5 mins warm up and 5 mins cool down). It was NUTS. I did 1 min run and 2 mins quick walk. I started the run at 6 mph, then increased by 1 mph for the 20 mins; the brisk walks were at 4 mph. I did it all on a 2% incline, so it was REAL ROUGH!

Then paced around in the back while trying to calm down.

For strength I did a circuit. Wall sits with dumbbell curls, followed by lunges with dumbbells, side lunges with dumbbells, squat with dumbbells, push ups with dumbbell turn, and then 50 situps. I then didn't do anything for 5 mins to let my heart rate get down. I did three sets of that.

Then I did abs. Just tons of abs.

All in all, it was a 30 min workout with the strength. It was quick, hard and now I'm exhausted but feel great!!!

I'll post food tomorrow. I'm off to go study some then go to a surprise birthday party! Have a good night everyone!

drinking is soooo hilarious... i mean you feel... a wee bit tooo invincible...
i was bad last week... and i am never ever drinking again xD my boyfriend
was on the phone with me almost the whole time... and said i was
hilarious... i think he was asking me questions... about whether or not i am
faithful... xD apparently i passed... do you think drinking makes you more honest???
hahah... personally i think it depends on how much you drink... too much too little...
and you start making up off the wall craziness! LOL!

italians are fun :3 germans, brits, french, swiss, i <3 them all... idk european men are sooo attractive. hehe.

Every time I think I'm admitting something really weird somebody else hear relates and makes me feel better, lol. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's forgotten I was reading subtitles.

Oh and know what's worse than when another persons mess becomes your mess? When their mess is on top your mess so you can't get to yours without going through theirs....and then it's complete chaos cuz you can't sort anything out and....well...everything's a MESS Not that I'm talking as if I know anything about this :X.

So can you kinda tell me what kind of book or what Water for Elephants is about? I was curious...