BEGIN RANT

RAHR! Work is NOT going well. Today we had our weekly lab meeting, where I prepared last night until midnight, woke up at 4 am and prepared some more. Well let me tell you how it went: bad. The first hour and a half was dedicated to the director of the lab (polite word for bitching?) complaining that she was "underwhelmed." Great eye contact with me on that one.

Then she went into great detail about what she expects, and how we aren't meeting her expectations. And how we aren't respectful. And how we aren't this and how we aren't that. I honestly blacked out. We're adults? We're in the best (so she says) otitis media lab in the nation? I must not got the memo because I have never experienced something so unprofessional in my entire life.

It was on equal footing as a sorority girl getting her food eaten on Friday night and her bitch fest at the following Monday's chapter.

So of course when it got to me to present, she had basically crucified everyone, so it was a pretty good atmosphere to present. Right? No. She then asked me an unrelated question. I didn't know the answer, so I didn't get to present.

I'm serious, this was how the entire morning went. I spent my entire weekend on that c u next tuesday and because i missed one question I couldn't present my work.

I didn't work out either because now I have to re-present ("be more prepared you are wasting my time") on Wednesday. So here I am posting online and not doing that. I'm not giving her the satisfaction of me missing my Olympic viewing. So there.




END RANT


So besides treating this forum as my THERAPIST below is what I ate and how I did not work out.

Breakfast: half of a protein shake (didn't have time to finish due to LAB MEETING FROM HELL)

Lunch: turkey, swiss, half serving of light mayo sandwich, half serving of chips, carrots, kiwi

Throughout work I had 8 glasses of water

Dinner: 2 servings of green beans, serving of chicken, noodles, terriyaki sauce

So I had a lot of sodium today. Didn't realize that until I looked at what I ate. Hopefully tomorrow I'll sub in more fruit and veggies.

Tomorrow is going to be my big workout of the week. I want to run a 5K at the gym, 20 mins of elliptical and do weights. I try to have a big workout every other week to hopefully jump start everything. So fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day at work and a better day with working out!

Talk to you all soon!


OH the weight...192.6 WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy bitch! Woww... thats nuts. I've got problems with authority(scratch that, people who THINK they should have tons of authority) and I tend to freak out on bosses, cops, annoying customers, lol. Can be good, can be bad. Its gotten me raises and promotions, but its also gotten me complaints and court time(ONLY for speeding tickets ). But yeah, I probly wouldn't have a job anymore if I woulda been in your position, lol.
RANTING!! haha..
Anyways, have fun with all that running. I DESPISE running. Bleh. Would rather shoot my kneecaps with a bebe gun at close range I think.
Have a better day tomorrow!

I'm exactly the same way, I normally don't take it. I don't know what it is with this woman but I take it AND beat myself up over it. I think the fact that I can't be fired because I can't afford to live plays a major factor in it. But I'm remedying that situation: I'm playing the lotter.

So today's hard workout will be postponed until tomorrow. Why you ask? I stayed late tonight at work. How late? 8 PM. Then went straight to my friends' house where they urged me to quit. I should. I hate my bosses. I love the work in the lab, and that is the only thing that keeps me there.

I however weighed myself this morning. I lost a pound since Monday. Stress does that I guess.

Eating wise here it goes...

Breakfast: 2 servings egg beaters
Lunch: usual, see past billion days. Seriously I eat the same thing everyday.
Dinner: my friends made me pasta and salad, while I moaned about my life and watched Harry Potter.



I think I'm going to make this smiley my profile picture. Thanks group therapy. See you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Group Therapy (aka the weight loss forum)

I hate work. I want to be 18 again. I want to go out on a weeknight.

Love,
Buckeye


BEGIN BITCHING PLEASE DON'T READ, IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU PITY ME AND/OR CALL ME A WHINY LITTLE BABY

So it is really depressing still living on campus. I move in next Wednesday downtown, but I'm still stuck in a land where everyone looks SO happy going out to bars and dressing up. I so badly want to go buy a nice, new dress and go to a bar and drink until 3 AM on a week night. I don't know if I can be an adult. Well, a functional adult. I mean, after college it's called alcoholism right? I haven't had a sip of alcohol in weeks. I mean I really don't miss drinking. In fact, I love not drinking. Nothing is better than waking up bright and early on a weekday and getting stuff done and then relaxing. Seriously, there is no feeling that equals that.

But my JOB. UGHHHHHHH I just want to SOCIALIZE! Isn't there a line in The Devil Wears Prada where the Nigel says, "Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. Means it's time for a promotion." Yeah, I doubt I'm getting a promotion. But during a near panic attack in a meeting where I thought I was prepared (I was) and my director decided to change the topic again (I can't anticipate ANY way she will make a meeting go), I just broke down and said "I'm working really hard."

I don't know if it was the look in my eyes (there were tears there I'm sure) or what, but she said "I know, and it shows. You're doing a good job."

WHAT THE FUCK.

So here I have been freaking out and not sleeping and KILLING MYSELF, and she WANTED me to do that. She told me it builds a good work ethic.

Seriously, this occurred.

Do you know last night I woke up every hour because I was having nightmares about my boss. Serious nightmares. In one of them I couldn't find a cake she wanted for a party and she berated me in front of the store. In my professional opinion, that is bridging my need for cake with my need for her approval. I haven't had cake since my friends birthday before spring break. I would kill for a chocolate cake.

END BITCHING PART TWO

THE FOLLOWING IS ACTUALLY PERTAINING TO WEIGHT LOSS!!!

So here is what I did today...hahahahahaha Nice segue.

BREAKFAST: The usual protein shake
LUNCH: veggie burger and salad
DINNER: egg beaters, onions, garlic, peppers and organic grits...mmmm breakfast for dinner

Workout: 35 minutes of running intervals (5 min warm up and 5 min cool down)
dead lift
alternating sets of shoulder presses and lateral pulldown
alternating sets of lunges with medicine ball and physio ball crunches
physio ball walkout crunches
200 crunches on incline (4 sets of 50)
100 medicine ball knee ups (difficult to explain since I don't know the name)

I had a pretty good workout, I couldn't stop, it felt so good!!!

Kristi was SO awesome and sent me a website to monitor my calories to lose weight. Great for me because I'm a dork and I love math and numbers. Boo yeah. So to lose weight I have to eat no greater than 1560 calories!!! So today I totaled everything I ate up. I was at 1500 (guestimate on the salad). Pretty good. So of course to make up the deficit I treated myself to a 60 calorie serving of my choice. What did I choose??

PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone has been doing well!!

MAKING SOMEONE CRY DOES NOT BUILD GOOD WORK ETHIC! Oh my god! Making someone cry is what turns people into hermits and serial killers, lol. I had this guy apply at my store and he LITERALLY turned to one of my employees that went to the same high school as him years ago and said: "Yeah, so after I got out of juvie I totally beat the shit outta everyone that pissed me off in high school." I think HE may have worked for your boss!

As for the chocolate cake, I totally hear ya. My sister brought home part of a Cold Stone ice cream cake last week and I almost cried it was soo delicious... *sigh* Anyway, on Sparkpeople.com's recipe page I found a chocolate tofu cake- sounds really gross, and it was realllly flat, but it was very tasty. AND only like 60some cals per piece. Somethin to try anyway

Have a better day tomorrow, and great job on your workout today!

Hi I'm sooo sorry that your boss is giving you such a hard time!!! Ugh! Why do people feel like they can treat people that way?? Makes me MAD

Well, I have to say how well you are doing! You are doing a great job at work and it will eventually pay off. Don't do it for your boss or you won't live up to what she wants. Do all that you can do with all that you have. That will be YOUR best.

You are doing really great with the calories and workouts! Keep it up! I'm glad you like those calculators! I have them on my favorites links and use them everyday. It's so helpful and eliminates all of the guesswork. If it means anything to you: I am PROUD of YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hug*

Hey everyone! So I'm back from the weekend and feel SO refreshed! I really didn't do anything but hang out with my friends and relax. It was nice not feeling the demands of going out and doing what everyone else wants and doing what I WANT!

Jess I completely agree. I've been looking for a new job and hopefully something will work out. I'm just going to continue working there, grin and bear it. I figure that if I don't do anything WRONG they can't outright fire me. So, I've been looking around hopefully something will work out. Wow, that tofu cake sounds........interesting. I'm up for anything, all I want is chocolate cake!!!! haha Thanks for your continued support, you are amazing!

Kristi don't make me cry. Seriously. I might cry. hahaha That was so nice and you didn't have to say that, but I will take it and hold onto it. You are so great. You definitely have made my day and week!!!!! Thankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this weekend was pretty awesome. Not going to lie, I stuck to my diet to a T. Ate 1500 calories each day. And it was easy. So easy it was sick.

Workout wise however, I didn't workout on Friday or Saturday. Today I did the usual 5K and weights. YAY

Things are going well! I'm moving my weigh in day to Wednesdays from now on. I feel like that is a much better day.

Talk to you all soon!

Great job on the calories this week! I don't blame ya for missing a workout or two- sometimes you just need to take a friggin weekend off!! You'll make it up this week

OK, weird karma thing going on here... I read your diary about an hour ago and i was going to post when I remembered I had to go to this meeting (thanks for that!). It was an M&M meeting (morbidity and mortality).
I went to discuss my twin case from 2 weeks ago and the head of fetal medicine was there, he spoke about it, but he had some facts wrong and it made no sense to the other people so I piped up and explained... man he got mad at me and said that I must have been wrong (which I wasn't!) and so now he hates me.

I have a problem with authority figures but the other way round, I cannot face up to them, I just try not to get in the way of any authority figures and I duck and nod a whole lot. I feel kinda shaky that i even spoke up in that meeting, but I thought it had to be said, because the whole case made no sense otherwise!

So, I read about your bad meetings and then went and had a bad one myself, how weird is that??

Anyhow, bad meetings will come and go, if you like your job and you think you are working hard, then just sweat the stupid lady. Some upper positions have this "finger in ass" technique (they get their finger up your ass to make you mad and when you snap they are like "ha, see I didn't even do anything and you just snapped out of the blue, you are a BAD person!") and you will get to meet a lot of these people in your life. All you can do is breath in, count to ten and just go on with your life!

I was thinking to myself as I looked in the mirror today that i have grown so much as a person in these 8 months of "lifestyle change", I have been on a kind of self-discovery, and I am looking at life very differently now. I dress up and use some make up, because I want people to look at me, because I feel good with myself.
And it is really important, because nobody can get me when I am up there, feeling good!
I really hope you can do that too (albeit let me say, you do not sound like your weight is getting you down a lot), you can grow this huge person inside (while the person outside shrinks and tones up!), because life is just so much easier once you are there.

Anyhow, I am glad that at least the weightloss aspect of life is going better than planned, and just don't give up on your job! You like it and that is what counts!
Love, Camy

Wow Camy you are amazing. Seriously, I just stopped and read that (I was just going to post how I have no internet and leave). What you said it is completely true. That really meant alot to me. I'm at work right now, and can only pop in for a second, I'm running a big deal pharma-experiment so I can't talk long. But there are no words to express how great your message was. Thank you thank you thank you!

I don't have internet so I won't be on here until next Monday at the latest!!!!!!

I'll try to pop in, but I'm panicked packed at work getting ready for this pharmaceutical project. Good luck everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: i'm at 193, eh. Stagnant is good, going up is bad!

Hey, just poppin' by to say hello! How are things goin? Hope you had a relaxing weekend

Thanks Kristi! Well, I'm back. I had moving in on Friday and Saturday and haven't had internet until today so it feels good to re-join all of you again!

I have some bad news though. I tore a muscle moving in. Yeah, it was rough. I haven't worked out since LAST Thursday. I really miss it, and I won't be able to work out for awhile. I tore it while moving in, but they think I might have torn it earlier because of scar tissue present. I was complaining of my back hurting before, but it was only a "sore" feeling. I'm in so much pain, but the doctors said the best thing to do is to keep active. I have gone to work every day, and stuck it out (with the help of strong anti-inflammatory pills and a painkiller).


Needless to say, I haven't dropped any weight. Luckily, I'm stagnant. I'm sticking to my diet, and cut back on my calories to allot for the lack of activity. I've really been cracking down on what I eat, and it has been hell. I'm trying to stay within my limit and eat as much as I can while in it. I think I'm just bored with my recipes, so I'm going to search the boards for something to spice up my diet!

But I'm going to try to check in on everyone this weekend. I have to work all weekend and every weekend for the next month because of a big pharmaceutical company project we are working on. I can't wait until it is over. I already know what I'm going to do that weekend it is over: sleep.

So I'll talk to everyone soon and keep with it!!!!!!!!!!

Hey I've always loved your journal title but for some reason never got around to saying hi. So HI I'm killing some time before work and it popped to the top of new posts and saw you live in Columbus and graduated from OSU. I'm going to Kent State Stark right now in Canton OH so I'm a few hours from you.

I was reading through your posts and wow about your job. Do you mind if I ask what you do? Because from what I gathered its lab work of some sort...and then when you said pharm-project I was very curious. I want to get into the pharm D program at NEOUCOM in Ravenna but if I don't my other second choice dream job was working in some sort of lab. But if thats what you do and you go through that...maybe I should be careful what I wish for, lol. Your boss needs some smack down put on her for sure. I had a boss like that once....when her karma evened out even I felt sorry for her so maybe you'll get to be around when it does.

Anyway I should hush now...first post in your journal and I'm goin off at the mouth, lol. Glad you made it through your move and hope the next month goes by smooth and easy for ya. ~Lisa

Welcome back! Too bad about pulling a muscle. Make sure not to rush into working out until it's healed or you will set it back even more. Well, I'm getting delerious b/c it's 2 in the morning and I'm not used to staying up this late. Better go before I'm talking in circles... see ya around!

Lisa thanks so much for stopping by! That really means alot to me that you care to listen to my blather. haha I'm from Canton, and then went to OSU for my undergrad and graduated with a BS in Microbiology. I'm a research assistant at Nationwide Children's Hospital. To be a research assistant, the field in which you apply accepts BS graduates with a major in the field of study. Also, you must have experience. I worked for two years as a student research assistant in a molecular genetics lab. When I was hired, they were specifically looking for someone with research experience and adequate schooling.

I think my boss can act like how she does is because in the world she is the leading researcher in otitis media. She is the keynote speaker at conferences. I've just learned that she acts a certain way because she can. I'm not justifying it, but that is just how she is. If I ever reached her level of success and had so much on my plate then I don't know how I would act, but hopefully not like her. Oh well c'est la vie, good luck!

Kristi I love you. hahaha Your crazy stories are so funny. I hope you survived your late night!!!!!!!!

SO!

BACK UPDATE: not going well, but it is feeling better. I have gone on walks, which is no workout. I just scuttle around and hope that it is enough physical activity.

Eating wise, I have still been sticking to my diet and have found other things to occupy my time: like work. I have to go into work every single day until the end of the month and I'm already drained. UHHHHH Don't want to do it anymore!

The apartment is going well. everyone who lives in my building is around my age and a girl, so it is fun. Everyone is so nice and we all are just starting our jobs and just graduated and everyone needs a close friend. Kind of cool. Kind of like Melrose Place. hahaha

I hope everyone is doing well with the diets and working out! I Can't wait until I can run!!!!!!!!! AH!

Well talk to you all soon!!