Hello! So I decided to start writing a diary more for me putting myself out there and putting some accountability back into my life! The title is off of a book I just read from Chelsea Handler called "Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea" which is HILARIOUS! Plus, Burger King is the ultimate splurge for me (double burger with cheese )

I'm new to this site in the respect of posting, but I have been silently creeping around since November. So first, a bit about myself. I'm 22, a new graduate of OSU and currently unemployed. I loved playing sports in high school and was always very fit. In college, my weight was pretty good, but I always wanted to be smaller. It wasn't until my junior year that my weight exploded. I started eating out more, drinking more, and exercising less. My course-load was ridiculous, taking 20 credit hours a quarter and never sleeping. Basically, I was a mess.

After spring break my senior year, I looked at the pictures and was disgusted with myself. All of my thin friends looked like the picture of health and I was ashamed I had let my body get so bad. It was at that moment I wanted a change in my life. I bought a scale and weighed myself, and let's just say it wasn't pretty. Since my freshman year I had gained 55 lbs. I then decided to start a Couch to 5K program. By the end of spring quarter, I was able to run in my first 5K (ok, there was a little walking...) and I felt great.

However, I wasn't losing any weight (except for 5 lbs!). I then took a step back and looked at my life. While I could pull this large body across the finish line, I hadn't changed the way I ate or drank. So here I am, lost about a diet that works. I am going to try and stick to a 1400 cal diet, and slowly and surely lose the weight. Fingers crossed you'll see some progress!

So here it goes, DAY 1 of my diary!!!

Workout: 5 min stretching; Ran 1.5 miles due to rain; abs; step ups; jumps; stairs; 15 min stretching

Breakfast: Banana + Low fat english muffin with i can't believe it's not butter (I love that name)
Lunch: 1 slice leftover pizza no cheese + glass of milk
Dinner: lean beef hot dog no bun with mustard + steamed vegies + fat free cottage cheese + a pickle + 1 michelob ultra light beer

So with there being a cookout at my house I feel like I did pretty darn good today. Of course the pizza was an indulgence, but baby steps!

If you read this THANKS! Hopefully I'll try to update daily or every other day!

Today's weight: 195.6

I found this on the sticky thingy and saw a bunch of other people do it and thought it was cute!

1. What is your current height and weight? 195.6
2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be? 135
3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? 175
4. Why do you want to lose weight? To feel better about myself, gain confidence in my appearance and to get healthy.
5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event? No.
6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals? Going out with friends, especially to bars. Because late nights equal late night foods. I can never seem to have one drink, especially with my friends, and especially in Columbus Ohio, a bar town.
7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem? Because I don't feel or look the way I wan to feel/look.
8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight? Cutting my portion size
9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight? Yes, as a freshman and worked out and ate so well.
10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back? I just let myself go, I stopped caring about myself.
11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work? I didn't want it to work, I cheated.
12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time? Yes absolutely!
13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook? No, and I need to start. I am very good at toast and eggs. That's it.
14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go? Nearly every day and I go to places that are horribly cheap, not like McD's, but like Mexican and Greek places with good, cheap food. And enough food I have a meal for the next day.
15. What are your three favorite foods? That's comparable to picking a favorite child for some people. How about 1.) Cheese 2.) cheeseburgers from BK 3.) Cereal
16. What are your three favorite restaurants? 1.) Mexican 2.) Italian 3.) Greek
17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food? Umm by the way this survey is going I could go out less...
18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different? I would walk around naked all of the time. Seriously. haha No I would carry myself more confidently I suppose. And I would shop until I literally dropped.
19. Do you eat when you are not hungry? Yes
20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)? No
21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret? No
    
22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed? Sometimes
23. Do you eat as a reward? yes
24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer? Yes
25. What do you normally eat for a meal? Carbs and something cheesy
26. What type of snacks do you eat? Cheese and crackers
    
27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing? Training for a triathlon!!!!!!!
28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home? School gym, park, and riding my bike around the neighborhood
29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise? Riding my bike, anything on the ball, and interval training
30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals? Daily I wan to stick to my plan; Monthly I hope to lose at least 4 lbs; and for the year I want to complete a triathlon
31. Do you have rewards for certain goals? Yes, I'm going to buy myself something that I want like a new shirt or a pair of shoes or even a massage

Hey buckeye! I've never read the book by Chelsea Handler, but I thought your title was friggin hysterical! ANyways, you seem motivated, especially if your looking to do a triathalon(go you!) so as long as you keep your mind on the goal, and keep up your diary- this has been one of the biggest helpers for me- you'll get where you wanna be. Sounds like freakishly obvious advice, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to hear it

Hi and good luck with it all.

But I have to say your thread could be considered cruel... I saw this title and immediately decided I wanted a burger king. (Thankfully we don't have one here so it's not too much of a temptation!)

I think chelease stole the title from the Judy Blume book -are you tehre god, it's me margaret

Hey buckeye,
I am in a similar position (only 6 months onwards). I was relatively fit throughout school (not too fit but able to dance in advanced classes and do gymnastics), then university life (and in my case "married" life, just hanging out with the man, nights in, in front of the telly, etc...) took it's toll and suddenly I was 20 pounds heavier than I thought I was (and 40 pounds heavier than I wanted to be).

I think it is great you decided to record this, it helps so many of us tremendously, to control our diets better and to feel proud of exercise and weight loss milestones).
Have fun, Camy

I'm so happy so many people left me messages! Thank you, it really means a lot to me that others are reading, I honestly thought only me, myself, and I would be reading this!

Camy: I think we're in the same boat, I didn't really think I was this heavy until I saw photos of me in a swimsuit. It was kind of a "what have I done" moment. Do you still dance? One of my real good friends is a dancer and she's now with a company in NYC so I'm super jealous of dancers (and their bodies!! lucky!) Thank you for your support!

Queeny: There are approximately 3 BK's in a two mile radius of my house, now THAT is cruel!!! haha

Jess: sometimes the most obvious is the most necessary to hear!

Maleficent: Oh man I think the last time I read that book was in middle school...completely forgot! Thanks!

Ok so here it goes DAY 2...

Workout: NONE! YAY! haha actually I laid out at the pool all day
Breakfast: poached egg and english muffin with i can't believe it's not butter!
lunch: vegie pita with portabello mushrooms
dinner: mmm healthy burritos (recipe from weight watchers.com) and brown rice

I needed a break today from working out, my hamstrings have been taking a beating from all of the running in the past couple of weeks so I lightened up. My mother and I had a long discussion today about losing weight and changing my life. It really felt great to tell her what I was doing, and it helped me realize I wasn't alone in doing this. Of course she has amazing genes and weighs about 100 lbs, but it was nice her getting ME excited about all of the recipes we can try and all of the new food she wants to buy me (I'm moving back down to my apartment in Columbus for the summer). I know I have all of the support on here, and that really means something to me. I especially love people stopping in and saying a few words, but it was nice to have someone in the "real" world helping me along.

Well, I'm done for the day! I hope everyone had a great day and an even better one tomorrow! Night!

Hey Buckeye! Hope you've been having a good week so far!

Welcome Buckeye! I too loved your title, I saw the Chelsea Handler book at Borders the other day, now you are making me wish I had bought it...

Eating well has been a challenge for me as well. I can tell you what I have been doing that has worked for me-

I found a good online calorie counter, I use calorie count plus from about.com, but a lot of people on here use fitday or other sites. I didn't realize how many calories I was actually consuming until I put all of my food into the calculator. This was a big first step for me.

In order to not be overcome by cravings I decided that I would stick to my eating plan during the week and if I had cravings I would eat what I wanted during the weekends. This has been working really well, I don't feel deprived because I know I can just have what I want on the weekends. I figure that if I am eating well 5 days a week, there is only so much damage you can do during 2 days.

You already have the exercise part down, good for you! I know that you will be able to reach your goals!

DAY 3 and DAY 4

Jess: Thank you so much! Things have been wild because I just moved back to my apartment (I went back home for a bit to have a graduation party and hang out with family) and so it is tough adjusting back into the post-college setting.

funmom: Buy the book! It has a title that catches your eye, but it is really funny. If you read books like David Sedaris (a fave) you'll love her book! I had no idea about sites like fitday, and I checked it out earlier today and was shocked at how easy/useful it was! I have a little journal that I write everything in, but I think now I'm going to use that site so I can get it done easier. I like that you give yoruself something to "look foward to" on weekends. I think right now I'm going to try to stick with everything with minimal "cheating" because I want to give myself a goal that I can lose the initial weight and then be able to allow more wiggle room later. I love the weekend idea! You are so positive I love it!

OK! So I have been MIA from this online forum, I'm trying to put it into my regular schedule so I can get a groove going. I'm going to be honest, yesterday was a horrible day for me. It started out well, I had two poached eggs (a simple luxury) and an english muffin for breakfast, and then a light lunch of vegetable soup, but then my friends insisted I go out with them. My goal was to only have one drink, and so I chose my fave Michelobe Ultra Light. Well, they liked that to so we ordered a bucket of beers because it was a great deal (HAPPY HOUR!). So, I had two beers. Nothing too bad. Then, I came back from the bathroom thinking that was it, we were leaving, well they had other plans and ordered another bucket. Looking back on it, I could have easily said no and left, but I caved and had two more beers. Of course this was over a 4 hour period so I thought I was fine (I had a very healthy mahi mahi salad which was luxuriously good) so I said to myself, yeah I can splurge. Stupid reasoning got me here in the first place. Long story short, my night continued until closing downtown and three more drinks.


AND THEN it happened, I had queso at our favorite late night Mexican place in the city. I know. I had one too many drinks and my justification at the time was flimsy at best. I ate the queso, and today I hated myself for it.

During my interview today I couldn't stop thinking about my belly sticking out (in the back of my head I was cursing the queso). I worked out for a good two hour period feeling only mildly better, but still I feel so guilty. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I can't stop beating myself up over it. Today I watched my calories, had a healthy filling breakfast, lunch and dinner. I stayed within my calorie range and worked out, but yet I still feel so crappy. I just hope my one lapse day doesn't come back to haunt me, because I have had a good week.

I know there are ups and downs, and hopefully this down is as far as I drop. I'm trying to put a positive spin on things. When some people cheat they eat a whole pizza, at least I just had queso dip. Right?

Tomorrow is a new day. I'm just going to stick my nose to the grindstone, and do work!! I know I can do this, and in the end the only person who can stop me is me, so positive outlook, Buckeye!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day, and for all of those in the Columbus area, I hope tonight's storm didn't cause you any problems! Those tornado sirens are still going off, and hopefully nothing will come of it! I woke up my roommate in a dead panic about the sirens and her and I huddled in our bathroom since we live on the third floor of our apartment building! These storms are driving me crazy!!!

First of all- the weather is going crazy lately! I'm pretty sure Montana might be the only place with "normal-ish" weather.
Second- we all have good days and bad days. You ate the queso dip. and it was fantastic! Just make sure the next day you don't go over the top guilty on yourself, because it will just drag down your whole day and make you more succeptible to cheating again. PaulaB has a good way to look at it in her diary- "JUST FOR TODAY, none of that food just because its there. IF you REALLY want it tomorrow, have it then... but JUST FOR TODAY, only healthy food that will make you feel good mentally and physically!"
I'm gonna try it tomorrow, cuz I have a major problem with eating everything under the sun, lol...gaaaa!

You'll be fine Buckeye! Don't sweat the drinks and dip, you went out with your friends and had a good time, you really need to allow yourself a day a week to just let go and not feel guilty about it, otherwise you are going to go crazy. Make yesterday your splurge day, feel good about it and try to stay on track for the next few days. It really took me a while to get used to eating well without feeling hungry or deprived. Just go one day at a time and your body will get used to eating well and eventually most junk food won't be nearly as tempting as it is now.

Good job with the 2 hour workout, keep up the good work! Also, I hope your interview went well, what kind of job were you interviewing for?

DAY 5

Jess: Thanks so much! Today it is supposed to be all wild too, I don't know what is going on, one day it is beautiful then out of nowhere there are tornados. Oy vay. I'm going to go look at her diary after I type this out. I had read some of her stuff, just browsing way back when, but I think I'll try to read it more. That sounds like a great idea.

funmom: I know, I need to stop being so hard on myself. Luckily today when I woke up I felt great! I wonder why our brains are so hardwired to the bad stuff, it's almost like it is addicting. I was interviewing for a position as a research assistant at a hospital in Columbus. I graduated with a degree in Microbiology and am taking a year or two or even more off to pursue other interests and see if I really do want to be a doctor. I love doing research, and the position I was interviewing for would be in the top labs in the nation concerning childhood ear infections. Plus, I would get to be around babies!! PUMPKINS! Oh little babies are soooo cute, and I would be at a children's hospital so it would be very fun. Fingers crossed that I get it. I hate being unemployed I'm so bored!!!

So let's get this started off. Today, I woke up feeling great. I stayed in last night and good a good night's sleep. Sometimes I think that is all one person needs. I had checked out some books at the library so this morning I turned on Wimbledon (ouch Sharapova), ate some oatmeal (light butter, 1/2 tsp of sugar) and read some of my book. I'm reading "Math and the Mona Lisa" a biography on Leonardo da Vinci. Trust me, I'm a big dork.

Later, I had to go the grocery store since I have nothing but liquids, soups, and an odd looking banana in my apartment. So my brother and I had this huge big trip to the grocery store and bought tons of healthy food. He is very into working out and looking good, so it was nice having him there and he can rattle off the caloric intake and protein of any food in the store.

We then went to lunch which was the Winking Lizard. If you're from Ohio you know the Winking Lizard, SO GOOD! I had a great salad with grilled chicken, so filling!

Right now I'm just cleaning up my apartment and getting ready to go take a nap. YAY! Later, I am going to the park and try to whip out a couple miles since I haven't had a decent run in awhile. Tonight my friend is having a work party at a bar she wants me to stop by, so I'll probably head there and have one or two drinks and head home. So it is turning out to be a great, relaxing day.

QUESTION????
I am going to start drinking protein drinks as a meal replacement. I've heard tons of people, especially some of my close friends, say that they love to drink them in place of meals. What are some people's opinions on this AND which ones would you recommend??? Definitely low fat and low calories, but I don't even know where to begin.

Have a wonderful day and night and I'll see everyone tomorrow!!!!!!!!

I have not seen any protein shakes that looked like they were worth it to me. All the ones I found had a ton of sugar and calories in them. If you find one you like let us know.

The most important thing to look at when getting protein as a meal replacement is the amount of cals/protein/carbs/fiber. Basic protein will have bout 20g protein and 120 cals with usually 1.5g fat and 2-6carbs. A meal replacement(like eas myoplex shakes or gnc lean shakes) have a higher amount of carbs and fiber. Definately a coupla areas you don't wanna skimp on. However, if you use a basic protein to make smoothies, and add fruit and fiber supplements, you can usually make your own "meal replacement". Hope that helps a little!