Lisa, it sounds like you've been through a ton of crap and my heart goes out to you. I wish you nothing but the best and hope that your hubby is doing better!

You know what though. Just a quick thing to say, and it is really hard to focus sometimes on our selves when someone we are deeply involved with is going through health issues, but...

When I was a first responder here at my company, the instructor that gave us our training used to ask us "when you walk into a room and someone is lying on the floor injured, who is the most important person in the room?"

The answer is you! The point he is making is that in order to help the guy on the floor, you have to make sure you don't get injured in the process.

Same applies here. If you want to be there for your hubby and give him all the support you can, help him through anything he is going through, you have to make sure you are taking care of yourself too. It's easy to lose sight of that sometimes when you are so close though.

Hey guys I don't have time to post right now cuz I gotta go to work...working mad hours right now but I'll be back tonight or tomorrow to post my game plan, which I've started as of yesterday.

Thanks you guys for all your encouraging words My husband's doing better for the most part except for being exhausted all the time, still some mood swings. The most stress is coming from the fact he hasn't worked in 3 months because of this so we are missing his income. And my job....well I've realized today it's affecting my whole life stress wise. A woman at my company enjoys terrorizing people and she has the power to do so. Unfortunately because of the extent of my weight gain since working there I really can't go get another job right now...but same time she's constantly got us all in fear we're going to be fired at any moment. I don't have the energy to explain in more detail and actually I don't really want to. But needless to say the pressure is on for me to make some life changes. Unfortunately I don't do well under pressure long term. I just hate that I have so many good things in my life and yet this situation has me in a constant state of anxiety and fear. Life is too short for that.

So, as far as my weight plan goes I'm under doctors care and I'm taking Adipex. Yes I know what I'm doing and this is my diary so please don't anyone use this as a place to start their debate over the evils of diet pills. Right now it's necessary, and a whole lot less risk than surgery. My pcos and insulin resistance have me so exhausted and my food cravings so out of control that I need the help. For me it's my last resort because at 5' and 340 pounds, I can't stand the way I feel health wise and I just can't live like this.

I started taking them Sunday and immediately felt ALOT better than I have in some time. It was so nice to have some energy and not focus on food non stop. My only concern now is I don't want to eat too little but I think with all my OVER eating my body is just relieved at the moment. As I get a good start I will probably not use them every day and just use them during hard times when I feel cravings hit.

Anyway I won't be on here every day because I have alot to do. I've let alot of things slide in all of this and I have things I've let go that are hanging over my head paperwork wise and my house is a complete mess and unorganized. My husband being home but too exhausted to do much doesn't help either. Over the next 6 months I just need to over haul my life and get on track. I just gotta figure out how I can stick to this commitment regardless how I feel.

Some bad days mixed in with the good are ok. But I can't keep hitting this hard then not focusing on my health at all for months at a time. Unfortunately endurance never was my strong point ;/

Lisa, I for one, would never be the one to say yea or nay to someone's choice of weight loss method.

Botom line, you are under a doctor's care for this and being monitored. If this is what it takes to get you healthy, take whatever road you need to take.

Glad hubby is doing a little better.

My wife's company sounds a bit like yours. She is currently doing about 3 people's jobs because they are all under the threat of having the carpet pulled out at any moment.

Yeah, stress sucks. I feel you.

Glad you're around though

Hey Karl thanks so much for swinging by to check on me again. And yea that really wasn't meant for you or my support group of regular friends on here. More those drive by people who read half a sentence then use diaries to launch arguments or criticize. I had that go on in my diary before and it took it's toll. I've learned alot in this forum but I also realize before I was so busy trying to do what I thought everyone else thought I was supposed to that I lost track of the point. But anyway enough rambling. Again, glad you're still here!

So the day after I weighed myself last week I weighed again and it was 344.6. So I don't know if I just had a false weigh in before that or what but yea....that was a bit scary. Fortunately I didn't dwell on it. This morning I'm at 335. It has been really nice to feel better, have more energy for a change and not think about food every second. There's been times even thinking of food was unappealing.

I haven't kept track of my calories but I need to start doing that. Yesterday I was starving on the way to work I stopped at Wendy's and got a chicken sandwich and a chicken wrap and a frosty. When I DO get hungry I could knaw your arm off, hence the bad choices. The food didn't even taste good...actually did I even taste it? lol. For dinner I ate vegetables and ranch, and a container from the deli of fruit. NOTHING else sounded good and I actually wanted that.

I think after all the over eating giving my body a break has been a good thing but I know I can't continue to eat so few calories, thats gonna end up in disaster. So I need to stop being lazy and start tracking them and add some exercise in. This medicine is a great crutch but if I continue to eat so little I'm probably going to have to take it intermittantly and use it only for the times I want to eat us out of the house. That'd probably be better anyway so I don't build up a tolerance. That's my current thoughts anyway.

As usual I think the getting my food under control for the most part won't be a problem. It's the exercise I'm going to HAVE to commit to, no excuses. I did some exercise yesterday with one of my girls that were from her physical therapy and it felt SO good...my muscles were like YAY on the leg lifts just to be used. I mean yea I felt the burn but seriously it felt GOOD. Anyway, time to get the day started. I'll post back soon.

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he said.

Hi,

Anyone tell me what to do to lose 20kg in 5 weeks

Hello Sunshineeeeee !!!!
...Get back in here and start logging your food cause we miss you!!! !!!

...We all go through ups and downs...and it's about Fishing yourself out of the downs...more than it is about keeping the ups....!!! That's the TRUTH and the REALITY of life!!...!!

...Step by Step and we can get there...you just have to GET IN HERE first to get that accountability to yourself!!! ....I'll be waiting...!!!!

"The difference between winning and losing is most often...not quitting." Walt Disney!!

..you can and WILL DO THIS...because YOU DESERVE THIS!!!

Hellllooooo!!! Just wanted to pop by and say hey!

still not back huh!?!?!...COME BACK !!!...Love yourself enough to make the effort back here...!

Miss you! Come back!!

Called by to see how you are - but see that you are still missing. I am just kicking off a challenge which would do wonders if you are slipping off track. The details are in my diary.