hey, I am a past user and I did used to keep a diary “diary of a tubby teenager” and although its really very cringe worthy to look back at its also very interesting and amusing .
I didn’t really have a clue about dieting back then and everything I have learnt all by myself with experience and time lol


I had always been a big girl from my first year of school, taller and properly heavier than all the other kids and it seemed to be whatever age I was my weight was also the same, and when I hit my 15 th birthday I reached a whopping 15 stone 10 pounds on the scales I knew something had to change..
Unfortunately I didn’t go the right way about it at all!
I seemed to think if you didn’t eat then you would lose lots, that’s when I would eat around 500 calories a day it would usually consist of a low fat porridge in the morning, 1 apple and properly a yoghurt however after a week or two a gave up on not eating it seemed no fun
then ironically I started to binge on cakes,pies dohnuts and family sized bars of choclate purging afterwoods
after being a bulimic for about 2 months my mum found out so i stopped and coincedently i gained another stone lol .

I seemed to get a bit of a grip after that period of stupidity, although I wasn’t dieting it was better than abusing my body in the ways that I was doing.

Another birthday came by, I reached 16 and yet again I weighed 16 stone 10 lb’s
The unhealthy lifestyle carried on till July 17th 2007 and everything changed from then on…

Even though I made up aloud of mumbo jumbo about why I wanted to lose weight my main reason for losing weight was to Be more confident in myself because my self esteem was completely rock bottom and to be more accepted by my peers how shallow but like I said b4 always the fat girl in class and the fat friend to my group.


I am now 40lb’s lighter than this time last year and at 5 foot 10 that makes me just a little bit in the overweight catogery of my bmi

not only have I lost just under 3 stone I have gained so much more qualities in myself,
_ I am lot more confident i used to constantly wear long sleeved tops and shrugs to cover my arms , now i dont give a damn i want look nice and how a 17 year old should dress

I have high morals and a lot of respect for myself i used to think guys didnt like me because of my weight but the reality is , if i believe that so will they and if you or i really do feel good about ourselves it will truely show and for someone with as self esteem as low as mine the mind & body have to make a truce a work together to lose the weight .


I have also been pushed into new situations well out of my comfort zone such as the big move when I moved to south Wales on august the 24th and joined college where I made lots of friends and my personality shone where as in high school my weight used to hide it away
however i recently found out we are moving back to my hometown (3 weeks tommorow)so i have the chance to make it whatever i want to make it and undo past mistakes.

Theirs been a couple of low period in my healthy lifestyle too, and at times it’s been my main focus and at other times ive let it slip.. Quite a lot to be frank but because I study animal care I was always kept active which helped prevent any weight gain luckily

For the past 2 months I have also been frequently going to the gym (how addicting is it really) and ive been eating very healthily however sometimes I can eat a little bit more of stuff than I need so today just to keep track of things I have started calorie counting again. And I thought well the heck I may aswell start a new diary too seen as we now have 2 months off college


anyway if you did read my longgggg introduction then thankyou and i hope you can join me and give that extra push along my way as i will try to do for others

-Emma xoxox

okay todays been a bit dull but anyway, i was up nice and early this morning .. at 8:30 lol i then threw some clothes on , grabbed the dog and headed for a brisk 1hr long walk i love the route that i took because of the scenery its just sorrounded by mountains and little home run farms and allotments i also like how no ones around at that time of the morning neither its alot more calming ..
once i got home i bundled lots of fresh fruit into my brand spanking new kenwood smoothie maker for my creation which i made and had some dry wholemeal toast for breakfast.

For lunch i made up a bit of a salad which was nice considering my fridge is bare
and then straight afterwoods i headed to the gym i felt a bit naughty seen as i hadnt been since friday because i was away in england however i had a good workout for an hour and twenty mins and burnt 500 calories their , i also achieved a new best of 200 kcals burnt on the bike

however i need to have a bit of a rant, i really , really wish we had female gym instructers!!!!
because im tempted to use the weights but i dont dare ask the gym instructer ( who 99% of women would say was hot by the way)
its just in all the times ive never been their i have never seen a female touch them only the rugby player type guys :S so i dont know what to do? do i ask or dont i?

anyway for tea i had spaghetti bolognase , even though its not the healthiest of meals it was still nice and its finished me off for the night

my main focus now is to have no snacks and leave any eating untill morning



calorie intake
Breakfast
2 pieces of plain toast-200
bannana, smoothie with natural yoghurt and a dash of semi skimmed milk
= 230
lunch
half a can of tuna-80kcals a small cup full of rice-120kcals 1 slice of cheese-70kcals =300
tea
spahetti bolognase with pasta , mince and sauce = 800 kcals

snacks= 0 , whoooo

exercise = 100 kcals burnt on walk , and 560 at the gym

total daily intake = 1400

Hey Emma - looks like you're doing great. I'm a bit of a 'returner' to the forum too & much of your opening post sounds familiar - the whole not doing things properly etc is so true! I learned so much last time around & hopefully this time I can join you in those losses!!!!

Breaking into the gym is hard enough - but you've conquered that with seeming ease by the sound of things. Go on, take that step and move to the weights if it's the move you want to make. All that you've achieved so far has earned you the right to defeat your inhibitions - go on, lock them away, kick them into touch & remember - you've earned it!!

hello stan , thankfully im not the only returner then and its always better to keep trying rather than give up for ever

starting the gym was surprisingly easy for me i think because i had my uncle come who is quite larger than myself made me feel a little less self conscious , but he gave up a while back , their was only so much pushing one can do plus they need to want to do it for themselves.

i dont know what it is but i just carnt fetch myself to ask him about it , my self confidence is pretty low today and i hate talking to me as it is lol .. however i think their is a woman instructor that works their and she seems pretty nice so im going try and go to see if i can catch her ..fingers crossed

thank you v.much for the encouragement & i wish you all the best aswell xx

I love just plunging in and doing something I'd normally be too scared to do - you know the feeling where you find yourself striding forwards while your brain is thinking, "What the heck am I doing?!?".

Trouble is, the confidence to do that doesn't come around all that often if you're a bit, erm, quiet like I am.

But if it does, go stride out, grab that instructor (well, not physically - unless he's willing of course ) and get on the weights like you want to be. Or if it doesn't, just time it right for the lady instructor - so long as you get what you want! lol

Glad it's all going well and keep it up

hello all,
i havent had the best of days today , i spose ive had what we like to call a "fat day" just by feeling down about myself and my weight aswell as being paranoid

first of all i went for my walk this morning as i did yesterday but i decided to go the opposite way and a much more diffrent route where you can here and see the fresh streams and dog seems to enjoy chasing the wild rabbits lol *arwww*

and then after lunch i hit the gym for an hour, it was pretty crowded which im not used to really at all exspecially feeling as crap as i do today
however when i got back from the gym i noticed i had quite prominent dark patches under my eyes which i have never had before
i dont know why im complaining because im to lazy to go to the doctors about anythinggg for instance i was having some sort of light heart palpitations ( which seemed to have calmed down a lot )
whenever i was visiting the gym and still havent done anything about it , but arh well ill learn from my mistakes lol



breakfast- i had two weetabix with raisens and semi skimmed milk=230 kcal

lunch- i had beans on toast with a slice of cheese on top = 550 kcals

tea- i ate a smallish portion of savoury mince with mash=700 kcals


snacks- my only snacks have been a smoothie which i had before lunch, with pear,plum and a bannana with a dash of natural yohurt =200

exercise= 1hr long walk and gym for 1 hour and 15 mins and various sit ups crunches and leg lifts = 600 kcals burned


calorie total for the day =1680 a little extra than usual but everythings gone well and no snacking after tea
plus i even resisted a pack of my fave cheese and chive snack 'a' jacks which im saving for tommorow lol

thursday 3rd july

i woke up thursday morning with achey legs and a sore head and i thought i may aswell just have a day of the gym and just eat less but suprisingly i went , however i didnt go on my walk so i worked extra hard at the gym instead ..

its so strange because i can walk out of the gym feeling full of energy and really happy that i went (like yesterday)
but somedays i can feel depressed like "why the f@** am i doing this?" sort of mood aswell as being, sore and in really good need of a shower like wednesday..
so its a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions

Breakfast
smoothie with a pear,bannana,strawberries -250

teaspoon of peanut butter-60
=210

Lunch
Tuna sandwhich with a smidge of salad cream-340
1 pack of snack "a" jacks- 120
another pear and a plum-0
=460

Dinner
Corned beef ash and one slice of bread-600
an orange-0
=600kcals

exercise
the gym
[100 on the running machine,100 on the elliptical crosstrainer
125 on the bike
150 burned on the rowing machine
25 on the arm peddling machine]
=500 kcals

complete total for the day-1370 kcals whoooo

hello.....
ive had a fairly busy day so i was unable to go to the gym because it closed at 3 and i didnt go on my walk
however i've heard its good to just take a day off to let theirs muscles replinish themselves .. at least i think thats what i had read

and because i knew i wasnt putting the exercise in today i cut my kcals down quite a bit and i dont feel as fatigued , just ready for a real good workout tommorow

i have also learnt today from a more experienced forum member that you mustcount calories of fruit so thats what ive started doing aswell

Breakfast-
Smoothie
[apple juice,milk bannana necterine and pear, 1 teaspoon of peanut butter ]
= 360kcals


Lunch -
crabstick sandwhich
[two slices of bread,20g of salad cream and 3 crabsticks] =300 kcals


Tea- mums pasta [bacon bits, 1/2tin of beans,tomato and penne pasta]=500kcals


snacks- pear,apple,red grapes and yoghurt=150

exercise- hardly any other than 100 leg lifts , 40 sit ups , 10 crunches and wrestling with a collie cross to try and bath her lmao
= 150 max

total for the day = 1370 caloires

[it looks the same as yesterday but if i counted the calories of fruit yesterday it would be higher anyway]

i know , i know its feels amazing when you get out of you comfort zone like that and thankyou for trying to persuade me lol but i think i may just leave it seen as im moving 250 miles away 2weeks on wednesday so ill be starting a new gym anyway .. and then hopefully i may have the perfect mindset to help me reach a perfect weight

im off to bed now and im sooo hungry but i resisted by drinking loads of water and brushing my teeth about 3000 times , i really cant wait for breakfast we got some frozen fruit for the smoothie maker and its like all diffrent types of berrys Mmmm and eggs , big free range ones
*cough,cough* .... sorry guys

well anyway , sweet dreams xx

afternoon, i cant believe i forgot to have eggs this morning after i fancied some so much but oh well.. and i had a smoothie before the gym which was nice and i have consumed no carbs so for dinner i am having a cooked breakfast which has been all grilled instead of fried

i have also been invited to a "21st bday" houseparty next saturday its a friend of a friend sort of situation , i dont really fancy it at all but i havent been out drinking for 2months so im going to treat myself however im also at my leaving party in town the night after ... so its going to be a roughhhh weekend i feel hungover just thinking about it! however i want to make the most of my short time left in wales whilest i can , but calories in alcohol is just soooo high



breakfast-
2 weetabix with semi skimmed milk a bit of bran flakes on top =220

lunch -
smoothie [apple,bannana,various berries,natural yoghurt and a splash of apple juice] =310 kcals


tea-
english breakfast [2 rations of bacon-160kcals,hotdog-210kcals,1/2 tin of beans-100kcals,1 egg-90kcals,1 slice of toast-90kcals]
650kcals

snacks- pear-60kcals,necterine-50kcals,cherries and grapes-100kcals,=210kcals

Exercise-
450 kcals burned at the gym [100kcals running machine,100 elliptical trainer, 150 rowing machine , 100 kcals on the bicycle]

total for the day = 1380 kcals

ive let myself down abit today because the gyms closed on a sunday i had wanted to go for a walk however their weathers been awfull and its put my off completely anyway i think ill be doing both tommorow and i need to work extra hard all this week to compensate to the naughty weekend im gonna be having.


the good thing is ive stayed within my recommended calories so im happy about that , and because i knew i wasnt getting the same amount of exercise as per i cut back some too

Breakfast-
1/2 tin of beans-150kcals,2 slices of toast 180kcals
=330kcals

Lunch-
smoothie
semi skimmed milk -60kcals,bannana-100,berries-60,apple-53kcals,strawberries-30kcals
=300kcals

Tea -
1 chicken fillet-100kcals,pillau rice-100,indian sauce-150kcals, nann bread-150kcals
=600kcals



Exercise-
stomach crunches , situps and 100 leg lefts and 10 double leg lifts =100kcals

snacks-
necterine-60,cherries-40kcals,grapes-50kcals = 150
crabsticks-60 kcals , snack size box of raisen-50kcals
=250

Daily total- 1500kcals , more than usual but not to bad

i may aswell right in here before bed , seen as it is 1:30 am i really do need to start having early nights again so im gonna be up at 8:30 anyway just to make it a quickie ive been browsing quite alot of people diarys and posts and their really are some amazing people on this site for that reason i feel a bit of a fraud when people message me saying im motivation to them etc but still its really nice..
i wanna start to give some of that back to the forum alot more anyway

night,night xox

Breakfast- 2 weetabix with semi skimmed milk = 250 kcals

lunch- crabstick sandwhich = 350 kcals

dinner - beans and tuna with one slice of gauda cheese = 510

snacks - necterine and cherries = 100 kcals
a tea spoon of peanut butter and a snack size packet of raisens=40 kcals

exercise - 500 kcals at the gym


total daily consumption- 1200whoo

Hiya, i just read your diary, and thought i'd say hi. Ive been in a few similar situations at the same age(17 atm)

How are things going?