Headache is still plaguing me. I know what that means... time to go see the chiropractor. Hopefully Thursday or Friday... depending on when I can escape work early. I can literally feel the point of misalignment in my spine and know its where the headache is stemming from. No wonder the acupressure points were only very temporary in their relief! Pain killer only taking the edge off. Not fun.

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Its funny, one thing I've heard and read, either on this board or elsewhere, is a lot of women are afraid of their boobs getting smaller as they lose weight. I am reveling in it! Not that I've ever been particularly well endowed, but at the top of the weight I was a 42DD. They don't make cute little lacy bras in 42DD... the straps would slice through your shoulders! And the bigger boobs were just one more part of me getting in my way... like the stomach when I would try to tie my shoes.

I'm REALLY looking forward to getting some cute lacy bras when I hit the goal weight. By the time this is all said & done I'll probably be a 36-38 C, but if it gets down to a B I won't complain.

Honestly I am more concerned with my butt getting 'too' small. My butt has always been on the round side. Its genetic. Its flattened out a bit with the weight loss, or at least its appeared to with the fat going away and the skin & muscle trying to compensate. Ah well, focus on building up more muscle and burning off more fat... the butt will look round again.

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There's two fighting styles I'd love to learn more about... Keysi and Krav Maga. They seem very... practical. I took a workshop in Krav Maga back in November. Loved it, want to learn more. I want to get a standing heavy bag for home too... punching something rapidly for a couple minutes is a great workout. Gets your heart rate up! And gets those frustrations and irritations out!

Hey, just stumbled upon your diary and before and afters... nice work! Do you have any idea how much consistency you must have practiced to lose EVERY week for so long?? I say just tough out the plateau, they pass.

I started belly dancing a few months ago and have found my passion! It is a great workout... it's what I do to feel less guilty on the days I meant to go do gym!

I've lost 20 pounds, got another 20 to go... will be following your progress

Thank you for the kind words, Anke.

I know that my consistency with losing every week has been good, and I know plateaus happen. Doesn't make it any less frustrating. But I've come all this way... I'm not giving up!

Especially since my stomach is flatter than it has been in YEARS.

I owe a lot of that to belly dancing. The great thing about belly dance is you can start it at virtually any level of fitness, and it will continue to be a good workout as your fitness level increases. You just make the dancing more intense. Its such a female friendly dance form... tradition being that the women of the Middle East would teach it to their daughters to help them prepare their bodies for womanhood... menstruation, childbirth, etc. Side benefit being it really helps in the bedroom too.

I'd give anything for my boobs to get smaller.. Nope - they've shrunk in proportion.. those that shrink have no idea how lucky they are...

I do! They don't hurt as much, sweat doesn't make me chafe underneath, and they don't get in my way when I'm painting.

Dammit!!! Hit with another urinary tract infection. This is the 2nd one this month!! Up until now I've never had one... now two in one month? They put me on some heavy duty antibiotics this time... a kind that I can't have any dairy or calcium 2 hours before or after taking. And I need to avoid prolonged exposure to the sun for the next few days. Great, like I'm not close enough to being a vampire. Ah well, my pasty and pale self will just have to stick to the shadows even more.

The true bummer is I've felt like crap since it hit me this morning, and bad enough to miss my cardio class tonight. Hopefullly I'll feel good enough tomorrow to double up on my workout. Belly Dance first thing in the morning, weights when I get home from work. That's the plan, hope I can go through with it.

I'm finding myself wishing for a 27/28 inch waist again. That would mean a 3-4 inch loss around the middle. I wonder, what does that equate in pounds or body fat? And would that be taking it too far?

I think go look at the minimum weight for height and just make sure you're never lower...

Awww, UTIs are hell! I feel for you!

Feel better soon (and get that dancing in tomorrow morning! )

I’m an awful friend. I only just now found your diary.

Owie on the UTI! Have you and the Hub been more than usually frisky lately? That’s about the only time I get them. I’ve had about four in my lifetime, usually after being a little um . . . sparky, hee hee. The gyno will usually prescribe something without going in, they are so common among wimmens (lucky us.) The last time I had a UTI, about two years ago, I was on a trip from Montgomery, an hour and a half from work, and I had to stop every ten minutes! Finally I found a Walmart that had those little brown pills, which halted the symptoms long enough to get a real scrip! Pure misery.

I laughed my ass off on the keg over a six pack comment. Me, I just tell folks I am expecting my baby, Taco, any day now. Lol. It’s so depressing. In the past when I would gain I’d just get a badonka butt, very little gain in my waist, so I could somewhat hide my porkiness. But in the last few years, with this sedentary more stressful job, the weight has concentrated into the most poochiest of tummies. Nothing really looks right on me anymore. I am lucky to be my age else someone would probably think I am preggers! It would be so lovely to put these sun dresses back on next summer and not look expectant. Sigh.

Phoenyx you put the Ah in Ah-Mazing with your dedication to working out! Wish I could get the fever like you have. It’s neat that Ankebuzz loves belly dancing too. Peaks my interest, especially since I plan to meet the man of my dreams by Christmas, hee hee. How’s that for positive thinking?

You are doing so great! I wouldn’t worry about the wobbly bits. Honestly if I lost as much weight as you, I would be so ecstatic at how I looked IN clothes I wouldn’t worry about nekkid. If my lover can’t deal with wobbly then he can just go grow a few inches and let me know how that goes, hee hee.

Love ya, girl!

Colleen

Hehehehe, Colleen, you're funny!

Ye, I'm really into my yoga and belly dancing now... they complement eachother well. I've found my grace has increased with the dancing, teehee... it's awesome!

They certainly do. There's a lot of yoga and pilates type stretching in the warmups on a couple of my DVDs.

Got the morning workout in yesterday, but felt so awful from the drugs for the UTI that I didn't get the evening one in. That, and they put me on Cipro... which one of the warnings is you could potentially blow out a tendon if you're not careful. I'm having bad reactions to it, going in to the doc pretty soon to see what's up.

But for good news... I went in this morning for my weekly weigh in and lost another 2.2 pounds! Yeah!!!!

I did get a printout this morning when I went in for the weekly weigh in. If you go to the 4th post on this thread, the progression post, I've added to the list.

Lost 5 pounds last month. That's pretty low compared to previous months. At least the scale continues to go in the right direction. I need to seriously think about at least hitting a 2nd hand clothing store for a couple pairs of jeans, at least until I can get into the size I want to be at. My size small BDUs are starting to fit kinda loose in the legs and butt area... will I have to go to extra small? Oh darn.

Got to the doctor this morning... so I am no longer taking the Cipro. That's some nasty shit. I told the doc that if I ever get exposed to Anthrax, I'll take it, but beyond that... no fucking way. He wrote me a 'scrip for a different antibiotic, but we both decided to wait until the urinalysis comes back to see if I really need to take it or not. I am really hoping for 'not'.

Now I need to go get my butt to the chiropractor and have him put my head back on correctly. Owie.

I have been a bit absent from the board in the past week-- I had a wedding to sing at and that consumed a lot of my free time. I would like to revisit your post concerning breast size. I went from one extreme to the other. I was probably a 40 D or DD at my heaviest. I crept down to a 32 A at one point, but am now back up to a B cup presumably from muscle. I did not like my largest breast size, nor do I care for my current one. It's an awkward size that isn't too common. And when I do find my size, there aren't too many cute bras in it.

I completely agree with LuckyColleen's comment about the wobbly bits. She has my exact attitude. If a boy ever degrades me for my small breasts or saggy skin, and in my eyes they will be a boy because a man knows how to appreciate a true woman's natural body, he can look elsewhere. If he can't magically come up with a few extra inches why should I have to change my body?

Lol Wordslinger. I would love to be a 32 or 34 B again. It's gonna happen. Just a month or so. My 38C I have to put in the smallest hook and I can poke it in like an egg crate, so I know my bra/cup size is shrinking. But in summer I'd prefer them big. But I know what you mean. When I am in a 34B it is very hard to fit in clothes because my hips will never be teeny. They just won't. I will never get below a Juniors 9 in the day to day. I've done it and I looked emaciated. Jeans and skirts and loose dresses are fine, but clingy stuff? Eeesh, if it fits my hips it falls off my shoulders and bust. So frustrating. I really love Newport News because there are so many two piece items, and I can tell to the inch if they will fit, since I have ordered from them for so long.

But I'll take the small boobs any day cause the smaller tummy will come with. I just have to stick with this. Sigh.

Heh... all they have to do is answer one of those spam emails about how they can miraculously grow an extra 3 inches...

I'm not worried about my husband degrading me on how I look nekkid. He's been supportive of this whole process, and has been accepting of me regardless of shape. I'm harder on myself than anybody else.

I'm not doing this for anybody more than myself. Where I'm saying I want to look good for him... that's all me.

I'm just barely still fitting the 40Ds, on the very last hook, and the cups are starting to get loose. So I'm guessing at this point I'd probably be a 38C. I can live with that. I'll get myself fitted by a pro when I'm ready to shop for undies.

Starting to feel human again after taking those awful drugs. Did some of the DVD workout on Saturday, and basically laid low on Sunday.

Back to my martial arts class last night. I'm getting better with my kicks...my increased flexibility has allowed me to kick higher, and my accuracy is getting better. I really want one of those 'heavy bags' that is a human torso and head on a stand. That way when somebody pisses me off at work I can come home and kick the crap out of it.

Had a touch of insomnia last night so I was way too wiped out this morning to do anything. Better do some weights tonight.

As I've been reading through this forum, talking to one of my friends who is very overweight, and looking back on my previous attempts to lose weight, I have learned something very valuable.

To lose weight, you have to WANT it like you've never wanted anything else.

I'm serious. I can't count how many times I've paid lip service to the "oh, I'm so miserable looking like this and being this heavy. I need to lose weight, I need to start exercising, I need to start eating right... blah blah blah", or some variation thereof.

Knowing you need to do something, and WANTING to do it are two completely different animals. If you go into a new weight loss program with just the 'knowing you need to do it' attitude, you are going to do it half-assed. Oh, you may go in to it gangbusters at first, be really good about exercising, eating right, etc. and you may start to lose weight. That is, until you hit that first speed bump... be it getting sick, going on vacation, going to a party... anything that distracts you from what you are doing. Then you justify eating crap, not exercising by saying "oh, I'll get back to it tomorrow, one more piece of cake isn't going to hurt me... etc." until you've 'one more piece of cake'd' yourself back to the weight you started at, or heavier.

Yes, I fell in to that trap many times.

This time, I WANTED it. And it has been borderline obsession. Not the 'become a bulemic or anorexic' type of obsession... but the obsession to do it right, and work on changing my eating habits, get serious about exercising... that type of obsession.

I know I'm not out of danger though... I know how easily I could slip back in to the old patterns of eating too much crap and not exercising. I know how easily I could go back to looking like I did back in January. And it scares the shit out of me.

Here's a good illustration of "knowing" versus "WANTING"

I have this friend, TIna*. I've known Tina for the past 6 years, and along the way she met my husband's best friend, and they got married a couple years ago. Since they had gotten together, Tina's weight had been slowly creeping up on her. Last year she got pregnant, and had a baby in October. That put on a lot more weight.

My sister-in-law Joanie* (married to my husband's brother) also had a baby in November. She too put on a lot of 'baby weight'. For Joanie this is baby #2, and she slimmed down really good after baby #1. She put on a little more weight with this one.

Tina, Joanie and I are all pretty good friends.

Joanie is a great example of "WANTING" to lose weight. She's been working on getting the baby weight off since about the time I started, maybe a little before, and she's taken off about 70 pounds. Like me, she's down to those final few. Its been great because we've been support for each other through this, celebrating the triumphs, having somebody who understands to bitch to when the plateaus hit... that type of thing.

Tina "knows" she needs to lose weight, even wants to. Definitely not happy with carting around the extra 85 pounds she's gained. (Can't blame her there, I know how she feels). Also suffering Plantar faciitis, which I know is extremely painful, but I also know that one thing that can cause it is being over weight.

But, she's not to the point yet where she has hit that level of "WANT". This was clearly illustrated the other day when she was asking Joanie and I for advice on losing weight, and finding reasons why what we suggested wouldn't work. She's sabotaging herself before she even tries. She's using her husband and the baby as excuses. That's no excuse. She and Joanie are both stay at home moms, with a young baby, and Joanie also has an active 4 year old. Yet Joanie has found a way to work around the distractions of children and husband... because she WANTS it.

I really hope Tina hits that level of "WANT" soon... I WANT my friend to be happy with herself again, healthy, have energy, and be free from the pain. She's gonna need that extra energy once the kiddo starts walking.


* names changed