Hi everyone,
Maleficient:
Usually I am really good with not doing the binging on ice cream....I usually go for a walk instead of binging. I've been working on it for so long, but the day that this happened I was in a great deal of pain with pain in my back, my hips and my lower stomach and walking didn't seem like the best option, though I really should have done it anyway. I need to recognize that when I'm feeling like that that I have to stop the temptation to binge.

Angie:
I was also molested as a child but I was molested by a female friend of my parents whom always used to babysit us and so I have found it hard to be friends with females at times, but I'm a lot better at it, but I also tend to be awkward with men now because of it.

Reluctantcabbie:
I know all men are not like these guys, its just hard when I hear things like that. And believe me I don't want to change myself for men.....I want to change my weight because of my health and etc. I find that with men I tend to act differently, for example, my most recent ex boyfriend I didn't let myself be goofy and outgoing, I always tended to be introverted. I think that's a sign that he definitely wasn't the right guy for me, because he would always look at me weirdly when I did have one of my random goofy moments.

If you can't be yourself then there is a problem. I think the only way to trully be happy is to be real to yourself and let others around you know who you really are.

Your right. I stayed in the relationship a lot longer than I should have. It wasn't a healthy relationship because I didn't feel comfortable being like that around him. He used to glare at me when I acted the slightest bit goofy or outgoing, but I stayed. I can say now that I'm happier without him and Im doing a lot better.

Atta girl.. I mean atta-woman

I've seen too many people stay in relationships that weren't healthy because the person(of both genders) though someone was better than being alone...

Having someone to appreciate your goofiness is a beautiful thing -and those people do exist

I can relate. Before I started dating my husband (way back when), I had a pattern of bad relationship choices, and staying in them way too long.

Stay away from the ones that handle a bit of silliness... test them early and often. If they don't like random goofiness, its not meant to be.

I have had a string of bad relationships that didn't last, I don't know why I didn't nip this one in the bud like I did the others....I have never had a really long term relationship and I think I just really wanted to be in one and a good one, and my ex was a nice guy, but there was not a lot of give and take...I always ended up going to his place, hanging out with his friends while it was a big deal if we hung out with mine. Now I am not the type of person who needs a guy to pay for me all the time....if I have the money I will pay for myself but there were times when I was a student where I had very little money...like literally 20 dollars in my pocket and he would ask me why I'm not getting anything when we were out with his friends, and to get something so that he doesn't look like a jerk eating in front of me when I wasn't eating...and just a lot of things that didn't sit well, but I tried to look past it because generaly he was a nice guy.

I don't know...I don't know what to do about men, but I've taken myself off dating sites for now...I just don't have the patience for it right and now and really do feel that I need to put myself on my own priority list.....losing the weight and exercising and getting healthy are my main concerns right now..that and work...and I am definitely working a bit too much right now but I'm hoping that soon now that I'm back in school it will die down a little bit. Hopefully I will save some of the money I've made from working a lot these last few weeks. Anyhow, again, I'm blabbering lol

I don't know what to do about women so we are kind of in the same boat lol. I never even get a phone number, nevermind an actual date. I wish I could experience a bad relationship once in a while, instead of nothing at all forever. A person gets lonely after a while.

But yeah, focus on your own thing for now. Reach your goals, I'm sure a good guy will come along. Do your own thing and your life will be much richer.

It's better to wait longer for the right person than have to stumble through a few...believe me....I would rather have the one great experience than all the crap I have had to deal with. Even with all my experience in the dating realm...I still feel lonely sometimes myself....I constantly see my friends with significant others and I miss that closeness and intimacy...probably because I haven't really had a lot of it...I still have so much to learn about relationships myself...and right now in particular, I have been feeling very lonely...I am working two jobs and starting back to school...life is taking over, and maybe that's a good thing.

Its when I stopped looking that I found what I was looking for... practically under my nose the whole time.

Sounds uber sappy, but true.

I'm hoping to one day find it. But I'm not rushing it either. I have had quite the last few days with the overnight shifts completely screwing up my schedule and have not been eating the best....

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently....about my confidence, my appearance, and why I've been doing certain things. For example....my facebook profile picure...I have a picture of Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant during their onscreen kiss during Notorious. Before that I have had the famous picture of a sailor kissing a nurse passionately, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall...I've been putting up pictures of movie scenes rather than posting a current photo of myself. I got my hair cut recently, but I had gained weight back, and am just really not happy with the way that I look right now. I also think I've been putting up the photo's that I have because I'm craving that sort of touch and physical intimacy and its lacking in my life right in now in a big way....by the same token though I don't want to date right now because I always get the wrong type of person talking to me...the one with the foot fetish who tries to maul me in an atm after only 1 time of meeting with me...or I get the guys who are the chubby chasers, or 'feeders'. I don't want to date as a plus size anymore. I'm also not that confident in how I look and I don't want to be constantly insecure. I need to figure things out for myself and I'm having a really hard time lately trying to get my exercise in...and eating properly has just been a joke...I'm feeling really insecure and really shitty about myself and I need support, definitely.

if that's you in your avatar -you're very pretty..

As for the other stuff - take it one step at a time one change at a time... and you'll get to where you want to be...

Why is healthy eating a joke> what steps can you take to improve it? maybe by doing some menu planning each week - shopping based onthose menus - having good stuff available to you?

Start nailing down some good habits and you will startto feel better about yourself

The girl in your avatar pic is very pretty, and if that's you, you should not feel insecure about your looks. But from personal experience I know you do, because having the extra weight on makes you feel unattractive. Boy do I know that one. Meanwhile you are searching for the weirdo magnet that somebody seems to have attached to you while you slept as some kind of sick joke. Don't worry, once you start regaining your confidence, the weirdo magnet will go away.

Meanwhile, start carrying around the extra large spray can of 'Weirdo Be Gone' just for safe measure.

Meal planning has really helped me with figuring out what I'm going to eat, and how I'm going to cook for my husband and I. We plan out our meals for the week and go shopping. I also take in to consideration what I'm going to do for food throughout the day while I'm at work. A lot of the time I'll cook enough for dinner that I'll have leftovers for lunch the next day, plus things for breakfast and snacks. This has been very instrumental in helping me stay true to the campaign to shed the excess poundage.

But you have to find what works for you. You can do it!

That is me in my avatar...that was taken a while ago before I got my hair done...now my hair is cut in a bob style and I like it sometimes and then other times, I just hate it...and that's one reason why I haven't really put a lot of pictures up recently...at least before I could have pulled it back but now I can't...and that and I just feel like my weight is going up and don't feel confident.

Ok, so today I am making a concerted effort to eat healthier....for breakfast I ended up just having hummus and wholewheat pita and going back and forth between my coffee and water and for lunch I am having whole wheat pasta with a tomato sauce and in between meals will be snacking on fresh strawberries I got from the store next to my work. I have also been looking up dance classes in Toronto and found a hip hop class and a lindy hop class that I am very interested in taking. I also need to get back in to the gym...am going to try and buy myself some new runners as the ones I have are so ratty looking, they are hardly wearable.