Hey Hun!!! Thanks for stopping by my dairy!!! You made my day.... I love when I find fellow people who have a hard time with the drinks! I know you told me you quit for a while, and now after reading your whole thread, I'm starting to wonder if it is in relation to all the turmoil that was going through your life at the moment with your daughter! I AM SOOOO SORRY about your daughter! It kills me to hear that it was a "DRUNK DRIVER"....and I hope that you don't hate me when I tell you this, but when I was 18 I was a drunk driver too . I am now about to be 26 in Dec., but I'll tell you this...I LEARNED MY LESSON HARD CORE.....I do not drink and drive now, they send me to the morgue for about 8 hours one day, 8 hours at the hospital Emergency room, 32 days of Caltrans Cleaning the fwy, and jail for 3 days!....At the morgue, I saw a million and one bodies, and I heard people HEART BREAKING stories from people's families who were affected by people like us...NOT CARING, DRIVING CARELESSLY.... I still remember that day as if it was yesterday! I always will....it hurts to this day thinking about it...because I spent 3 days in jail....my mom came to visit me.....and it wasn't what I wanted for my life! That night, I thank God, that I didn't kill anyone...I totaled a new parked vehicle, and I can't remember that night...UNTIL TODAY! Only from what the police report said....HOW SAD IS THAT right!

I did quit drinking for a LONG WHILE too, and then I started again,....though I do not drink and drive now,...but still....only because I learned a LESSON at a young age,.....I AM SOOOOO GRATEFUL because I could have harmed someone, harmed myself, and destroyed my loved ones.

I appreciate you sharing this with us, because it makes me REINFORCE and RELIVE all the crap I PUT MYSELF in....I wouldn't change it one bit though, because I would say...that SO MANY TIMES I almost faced DEATH....so many times....then...I CAN'T REMEMBER driving let alone, getting home....

I don't drink like that anymore, I am wiser, but I feel your pain....and I can't help but want to cry right now, because I remember all of the people that spoke that day for us at the morgue, and I can't help but think YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THEM speaking, and I COULD HAVE been the one who KILLED your loved one!

...you know, I have found though, that I do use "alcohol" to mask pain sometimes, or to push away a situation that needs dealing with....which is why I have trouble with it....not to mention...I get THIRSTY dammit!

It has helped me to really deal with things like you said, and you do realize a lot in the process!

I just wanted to tell you that YOU ARE AMAZING!!! YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!! GOD LOVES YOU!!! AND YOUR FAMILY IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!!!

P.S. ....you said that you were scarred to talk to your hubby about his weight,....but I think though it is a touchy subject, he doesn't sound well....and if you love him, tell him what you fear, because if things don't change....your fear only keeps becoming more of a reality.

...tell him.....I know it hurt when my bf had told me I got BIG...he said it nice, he did....but did it hurt still?!?! Yesss....of course...we don't see ourselves like that.....or that big....but what it did make me realize, is that it wasn't about looks, it was about the concern for my own life! The talk...did inspire me to take my "LIFE BACK" and do something about it.....slowly yessss....but still here fighting...."WALKING THE WALK"!!!!

....sorry so long.....I guess I just understand what it's like to be on the other end of the sticks you hold.......

Here ya go Just tell yourself this is what happened to the pizza before you saw it, lol.


Gross pizza video

ALTA, wow what a story, thanks for sharing....I recently agreed to do a public service announcemtn with a local business and my dtr and some of her friends told their story....I also have bracelets with my dtrs name on them that i give out the say her name and Promise..its a promise not to drink and drive, and these little business cards that I give the kids to put names and numbers of people they can call if they are ever in trouble and need a ride.

The driver was her best friend, they went over for a night of partying in Canada and on the way home the driver fell asleep and hit an overpass...less than 10 minutes from home....I am just now feeling "normal"...

I went a year without drinking before she died..it prepared me for that moment....I learned alot about myself...I grew up...It was an experiment that I will cherish forever because it prepared me for her death..and I didnt drink to cope with it. Instead, I think I ate. :-). I drink now, but in moderation...because I know it is no way to live your life......

wow..very analytical today...argh...

I DIDNT EAT THE EVIL PIZZA.....FAK YA!!! woot woot woot woot.....(doing the cabbage patch here)....

I went to the sleep apnea clinic..and i have to wear a mask to force air to open my breathing pathyway...i slept great....she said if i lose weight that should help too.......................

well i better get my boot-aye in the shower and get the day started, yesterday was quite, crazy.........LordJaysus please bring me calm today :-)

hugs to you all...Kare

Design your own porn site

The anti-pizza-porn site

strategically placed pepperonis on various peoples in states of undress (and we can determine once and for all whether size really matters

ya know what..with all that grease..it would just slide right offa "stuff"....okay another story..onetime, alongtimeago my friend had a breast reduction (not like my chicken breast one, a real one)...and like she showed me and it LOOKED LIKE pepperoni...they like took off her nips and repositioned them...okay ..thats enough...now i really dont want pizza


today..captains foodlog

raisin bran and milk
1 cup broth
chicken wrap and caesar salad from wendys
handful of baby goldfish (cuz i was stahvin)
cup of tea
1 salad...spinach, chicken, bacon assorted veggies...ranch dressing on the side
one 1/8 of my hubby's club sandwich...(without the bread) so basically some bacon, turkey, lettuce and a little mayo

dang except for the goldfish, it sounds like i am on atkins....

LOL! I love it!! "Captains Log" OMG, too funny.

Great job tracking your stuff girl! You're on a roll!

MJB...i was a bad girl last night...i had 3 handfuls of fritos and a whole wheat bagel (small one from thomas's) with some hommus.....it was like i was possessed...i had to eat argh!!!


i had such a busy day today. i was in a meeting from 11 to 4:30/5:00...then i went shopping because i am going to a concert tomorrow...with my girlfriend (who is gay...i am going to a lesbian concert...we are going to have a blast...she said she wants to see if i can get picked up..i am like "um..no thank you..i am kinda married"hahaha...)...anyway...she is so much fun...it will be a cool time...

anyway..i didnt find anything to wear when i went shopping...nothing...and i felt like goo...googirl....tubogoo...so i think i am going to scrounge something up at home...jeans and a caszzzual shirt.

oh and i went to zumba...and sweated... :-)

here is my food for the day

4 am, i was up..so i had a fiber yogurt (and i had the "botana's" all day...just so you all know...that fiber yogurt gives ya the gas...so i was in a meeting all day with the "botana's)

then when i got to work, i had a bagel with a little hommus (i am big on the hommus right now)

at lunch i had a salad, with some imitation crab, some lite italian dressing and a cup of soup (lipton noodle cup of soup)

i was hongree at 3:30 so i drank some beef broth...

i went and shopped/went to zumba

and when i got home i thought i would "splurge" a little so i had handful of fritos and one of those whole grain bagels...the small kind from thomas's bagels...with some lettuce on it and a little lite dressing..like a veggie sandwhich. those bagels are 150 cals each and they are very good...

anyway, i feel good..hopefully the scale will be kind to me tomorrow :-)..i had more carbs today than normal but with all the walking i did (in spikey pointy toe heels) and the zumba, i should be okay

Bad Girl!! Tsk Tsk. We all have those moments when the hunger monster grabs hold of us. That doesn't sound to terribly bad though, but I know what you mean when unexpected eating pops up. Hummus, mmmmm. I love the sun dried tomato hummus. Yumm.

Oh, that lesbian concert sounds fab! I wanna come! lol I always find it so amusing to look at lesbians, especially the ones who look like boys. Don't they call themselves boi's? I used to live in San Francisco for years, so I got lots of hits on me from women. It's flattering all the way around.

I have to check out this zumba! I hear everyone talking about it.

I hope you have a great day today!!

I've been MIA a few days but wanted to come by and check on ya and say hi How's it going? Oh and what's zumba? And I wouldn't have known what "botanas" was either if you hadn't said, lol. Funny the different slang we all use. I remember when I first moved to Ohio from cali and one of my husband's friends jokingly asked me why I was being "salty". I had no clue what he was talking about.

the lesbian concert was alotta fun...my friend is great...a lotta cute razor cut haircuts there..and some bad hair too...but the music and company was good. she asked if i felt out of place and i told her no...but i did feel like i wasnt "part of the club" probably cuz i am not ha!!!

zumba is a cross between salsa/latin dance and aerobic dance..its like aerobics with flare....

here is a link to youtube
YouTube - Zumba (salsa)

so for my food yesterday
whole wheat bagel 150 cal

grilled chicken wrap 260
baked potato w/butter 270

small greek chicken salad no dressing and no beets - 158 - 200 cals

whole wheat bagel (small size) 150 cal
lettuce & a little mayo 30
a handful of frito 160

and i also splurged on a grande coffe frappacino....380 cals!!! i hadnt ever had one...it was deluuuuushous...yes de-lush-us!!

i weighed 181.2 this morning...I was 181.8 yesterday (i had about 1400 cals yesterday)

oh i am going tailgating tomorrow...arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

WOW, no thank you for sharing! AMAZING!!!...you are so AMAZING!!! I just wanted you to know that! You are on a CRUSADE TO CHANGE LIVES!!! YOU ARE A BLESSING and a VEHICLE of GOD to spread the word out!

The business cards are SO IMPORTANT I think, because that's exactly why people drink and drive! And the bracelets...... are sooooo TOUCHING!!!

I'm glad that you didn't use liquor to cope....that is COMMENDABLE in itself! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you finally feel "normal"!!!! You are NEVER alone....GOD ADORES YOU!!!!!


...and this weight WOMAN....it's GOING...GOING...GONNNNNNNE!!!!!!!!!

captains log 10/25/08

breakstass
raisin bran 90 cal
milk 1/2 cup 1% 55 cal

snack at rink
soft pretzel 160 cal

diet root beer ..nuthin

lunch
1/4 cup cottage cheese 90
3 imitation crab sticks 80
1 bagel (150 cals)
lettuce
light mayo 40

1/2 cup crunch & munch 140 cals

homemade tiny pizza (using store crust)

crust 150
1/4 cup cheese 70
canned mushrooms 20
1 tbsp sauce less than 10...

905 cals so far

I'm going to have to get a Zumba DVD, I want to try.

I love Salsa dancing. It's so fun.

Glad to hear you had fun at the lez concert. hehe

Droppin' back by... looks like you are doing great! Keep up the good fight!!

well i have been doing good

i went tailgating at the lions game yesterday

first time i have ever done that

we had a big bus and it was 95 bucks for eating drinks & tickets to the game...i have never had a drink before noon before...i had a bloody mary

and then

alotta bears...(beers..) alotta beers...

i am going to be honest here

i had a hot dog (burned beautifully)
about a tbsp of potato salad so i could taste it and coles slaw
and a handful of chips

and a cookie

i had one beer before i left for the game....and 2 beers at the game...one beer when we got to the bar after and then another when i got home from the bar...and that was it...from 11:00 to 7:30 at night...5 beers or so....

and then some sliders at the bar....

oh i dont want to step on the scale

but i am not hungover at all..which is great..

the lions lost...argh...and my ff team is sucking up a storm this week...

but life is good!!!

hope you all have a great week.

oh and after the bus dropped us off at the bar, i called my hubby and said "i cant drive home..come pick me up"...i didnt even entertain the thought....keeping up the fight!!!