Oh they get it, but I think at first it was because I kept hammering at them that they had no right to bitch about what was happening politically unless they got involved by at least voting... They both got out and voted this year.

Awesome! That makes me happy to hear! Good for them

I would sell my soul to get to where you've gotten on your journey... When I was just out of highschool I decided that I couldn't stand myself the way I was...... and I eventualy began adopting healthier habits.... I got into such better shape.... it's been some time since then and I really screwed myself over and I've put back on a lot of the weight.

I'm at the point to where I can't stand it anymore, once again...

Only this time I can't seem to find my way.

I'm not currently working so I have less daily physical activity... but I do have access to a bowflex revolution... and a cardio machine.... I know that I don't have healthy eating habits....

I hardly eat anything during the day... which I know is bad. But I'm afraid to start eating regularly because my mind keeps telling me that it'll just make me gain more weight.

I've seen your progress and your are very inspiring... I have a favor to ask you... if you don't mind.... and I hope you don't.... but any advice/personal knowledge from your own experience would be far beyond appreciated.... I mean it.

Please....

Now I'm gonna finish going through your diary

P.S. Do you use Yahoo messenger???

Thank You for sharing that with me! I'm sure you'll get back on track so no worries. My best tip from my experience (and my best friend Rissy's) is the #1 Rule: Don't eat after 6 p.m. Honestly that is what I owe all my success to. You do need to eat throughout the day though as I'm sure you're aware of. You don't have to change your eating habits too much at first. You can slowly alter your eating habits into healthier in time. Just stick to that rule of not eating after 6 p.m. See your body needs nutrition during the day to function so you HAVE to eat but your body does need time to do what it does without constantly being filled with food. When you stop eating at a certain point your body starts to get to work and burning things off and functioning the way it's meant to. It just needs the time. So at first if you do decide to take on that rule it will be a little difficult because your body will still be used to eating at night but when you keep it up for a few days it starts to realise your ok without eating at night and it will thank you by getting to work and burning off fat and making you much healthier. I have lost 88 pounds so far and Rissy has lost over 100 all because of it. So you should definatly at least try it out for a while. Trust me you will notice a difference very quickly.

I havn't even really worked out too much. I'm going to start working out more sometime soon though. I have a bowflex too that I love and a few other things like a treadmill and a Gazzelle (or however you spell it), but they are more collecting dust than anything right now lol.

And yes I do use Yahoo Messenger. It's lovekotaforever@yahoo.com

Entry 6

I worried so much about all the candy I ate on Halloween (i devoured all the twix) that I finaly grabbed the damn scale today and said "To hell with it! I need to know!" When I stepped on the scale and looked down, I am pleased to announce that I actualy lost 3 pounds. Not gained! LOST!

I am so relieved.

-Love Kota

You see all that worry for nothing... lol. You probably didn't eat as much of it as you actualy thought you did. ;-)

and yes... That is one definate rule that I need to adopt and will... actualy had it in mind all night last night.

Awesome! Now all you have to do at this point is to make your move and try it out. Everything to gain and Nothing to lose. You'll do great I'm sure.

Entry 7

This entry is more of a question really. I've lost 88 pounds so far and I'm down to 152 pounds. Sometimes I do feel like I look good and I know I definatly look better than I did before but I can't help but never be able to shake off the feeling of being a total huge fat ass. So to any of you who have lost a good amount of weight and have been at that weight for a while I would like to know if this feeling ever goes away. One minute I'll look in the mirror and say "Wow I look so much better. I'm so proud of myself." and the next I'll look and say "you're so fucking fat!" I just really want this to stop but I feel like no matter how much I lose I may never actualy see myself as anything but fat.

So anyone even know the feeling at least? Does it ever go away?

Entry 8

I want to start off by appologizing for my absence lately. I must admit it's mostly because I'm hiding from the board in shame. All the holiday food and atmosphere of holiday cheer is just making me eat more and not care as much. You'd probably be ashamed of me if you knew what all I've eaten lately. First Halloween with all the candy and then Thanksgiving which is my second favorite holiday because of the food. I'm just ashamed. I would like you all to know that I have NOT gained any weight though. My pants are still getting looser and looser and I feel great. I just feel shame for not eating right.

I have told myself though that it's the holidays and I should have fun cause it's my favorite time of year. Like Rissy told me, even if I were to gain any back I could get it right back off because I know what to do now and I know I can do it.

So yeah that's why I've been absent for a while. Sorry everyone.

-Love Kota

I don't feel that you should be expecting others to feel ashamed of you... Instead we should be encourageing you to stick to your guns and continue on the path that you've been on...

I've been off the path for so long that, now that I'm trying to get back on it, it seems impossible... though I truly believe, deep within, that it's not.

I like to believe that we are the ultimate judges of our very selves... don't be so harsh on yourself...

I've heard from a lot of people that a little bit of splurgeing won't hurt much at all...

I hope everythings going ok with you...

Thanks for that. It means a lot to me. And you're right. We are our own worst judges and we critique ourselves too much. I try not to let myself do that.

Entry 9

Since my last post I'm pleased to inform you that I've gotten back on track. I'm not as hardcore anymore as I used to be because I don't have to be. I find it so odd that I'm eating some of the things I love that aren't that great but still losing the weight. I guess it's cause I can't eat AS MUCH as I used to.

Anyway I havn't gotten a scale yet still but I'm going to really soon becuase I've gone down another 2 pant sizes [from size 40 to size 32 so far] and am a Medium in shirts now! WOOP WOOP!

I'm so happy I can't wait to know how much I weigh! When I find out I will let you know asap.

-Love Kota