Well, I finally decided to start a diary. After going through 2 weight loss challenges back to back I realized that I missed the daily support that those challenges provided, but I did not have any will power left to do the third.

So, I decided to start a diary where I can bitch about everyday challenges of weight loss and hopefully get some support. I have to admit that after the challenge ended, I have been pretty bad with my meals (I averaged 1350 calories/day), and also had quite a few diet-destroying restaurant trips (team lunch meetings, company banquets, valentines day), so I ended up gaining back some of my losses from the challenge.

Ok, for those of you who don't know here are my stats:
current weight 138.5
height 5'2''
age - 29(female)
average daily resting metabolism - 1550
I'm doing 1200 calorie diet, self-devised.
To loose 1 lb/week I really need to eat about 1050 calories, but I don't seem to be able to do that for a long period of time. I lead pretty sedantary lifestyle, with almost no exercise, except for horse riding once a week and occasional skiing trip.
I am slowly recovering from a long illness, and often exercise is out of the question, although I've been trying to start slowly in January. Unfortunately, I had to take a big break because my health has taken for the worse recently.

My long term goal is to get to 125, and then we will see how I feel. I started doing this seriously in December when I was 145. 133 has been my lowest in my adult life, so we'll see if I can get below it.

My small goal is to get to 135 by March 15th.

Hey NTL- Good to see you!! I was wondering where you had gone off to! How are you? Last I heard you were doing okay with the bike. Are you not feeling well? What about going for walks, does that bother you as well? At least you have the horse, but what about weight training? I guess I don't have a clue as to your illness, so it is harder to offer advice as to how to speed up the metabolism. You have done GREAT so far...keep it up!! You will definitely get great advice and support here. welcome to the diary section. I think you will like it.

Hi, Skyler! Thank you for stopping by!

The illness was mono(short for mononucleosis), and I had it since may(I think, no one can really know for sure). Doctor said symptoms should go away in 9 month to a year. I basically feel like I have a cold (dizziness, weakness, muscle soreness, exercise intolerance) minus the upper respiratory sympromps. Whenever I tried to exercise during illness, I had extremely high DOMS pain, that lasted days, and just getting up the stairs of my townhouse had me winded and huffing and puffing. During the worst of it, just mopping kitchen floor made my arms sore for 3 days, and I felt like crap all the time. Sometimes just getting off the couch seemed like insurmountable task. In end of December/January I started feeling better, that's when I started to exercise and even built up biking to 30 min, I also did strength training, and felt really good for the first time in a very long time. Also, the recovery time from exercise reduced to the normal one day instead of 3 or 4. But something happened end of January - I either overdid it with exercise and activities or I got another cold ( I do have a sore throat now, so hopefully it is just another cold), but for the last 2 weeks I felt like I was back in mono days. So I had to quit exercising, because it made me feel worse.

Also, last two weeks I felt unbelievably hungry every few hours. Even my hubby calls me a "raging eating monster", because when I come home from work, I cannot wait to eat, I'm literally ready to "kill" for food. I have been experimenting with artificial tea sweeteners, because I've been very cold at work(probably chills), and unable to drink water (tea or coffee was the only thing that could warm me up and water seemed to make my throat sore even more), and somehow those sweeteners even without sugar contribute to this giant sugar drop. But I cannot "afford" calorie wise to drink sweetened tea all the time.

So it has been a very rough couple of weeks. I cannot wait to feel better again. It felt unbelievably good to feel strong, and to go out and meet with people, and do things and still feel good the next day, and I cannot wait to get those things back.

So that's my story. Thanks for support Skyler! You're an inspiration!
Will post here later. Thanks all for the opportunity to vent!

Hi, Glad you started up a diary, I really think there a great idea. It helps with all areas even when your having a bad day a need to get stuff off your chest, its great to come on here and just get it all out. That seems really hard the illness that you have been dealing with, such a long time to suffer with it. You should be really proud of your self for comming as far as you have, and for having the will power to put your self on a diet and take control. I know there are set backs and they can be disheartening. but that is to be expected with what your dealing with so just put them behind you and keep going forward. You are doing really great.

Yeah, last 8 month have been really frustrating, but my husband has helped me a lot with mental frustration and housework. I can't wait to put all this behind me now, and live my life to the fullest, even loose weight! I am determined to continue with exercise as soon as I am able! It is frustrating to wait, but there's nothing I can do right now.

On the good note - I tried my old jeans yesterday, and they fit! They were a bit tight to sit in, but the main part is that I was able to wear them! Whoo-hooo!

On the bad note - there is a graph in fitday program I use to track my food and weight that shows your supposed weight loss according to your goal and my weight loss... And for the first time I crossed that line! It was a bit depressing to see. The goal is to reach 135 by March 15th. I'm 138 now, so I have 3 lbs to go. I would not be worried about achieving it(I do have over 3 weeks), exept for my recent hunger spouts and inability to exercise makes it so much harder to achieve. I may have to reassess that goal, but I will wait till March 1st to do it.

woohoo!!! old jeans fitting is great. How good did you feel!!!.
dont worry about graphs, set your own goals and take it at your own pace. that is just a set standard rate not designed to take in any of your current circumstances, doesnt factor in you or your life. You are doing great so just set goals that are realistic for you.

Oh, yeah, it was great fitting in those jeans. The funny thing though is that the minute I put them on I started complaining in my head that they are tight and not loose as they used to be. A month and a half ago I almost could not pull them on! I really have to stop that. I need to learn to enjoy and celebrate my successes before setting more goals.

Thanks, Zoila, That's exactly what my husband said. Its just one of those things... If I set a goal for myself and don't meet it, I'm bound to feel dissapointed. But, overall, even if I don't meet that goal, its not a big deal, as long as I'm moving in the right direction, it does not matter what number it is. As long as I don't give up and keep going, I'll get there.

Calorie-wise I'm doing good so far. Hopefully I'll have pretty light day today.

hi nothin to lose...well, sounds like you have that determination that you have always had. i think that you need to adjust (just my opinion) the fitday chart, as they dont calculate in mono or lack of exercise or feeling plain crappy. then, if you are not at their defined goal, it isn't going to help your mental brain either. i think you are at a point of a) getting healthy!! sleeping, getting rid of your cold/cough and taking care of yourself and then secondly b) focusing on strength building and walking/exercising SLOWLY and yes, watch the calories but not to make it your primary concern. You need to get healthy first and it sounds like your weight loss will make you healthy but first and foremost, it will be ridding that mono for good and not "overdoing it" like you said you probably were. eat maybe more than you "normally would" to lose weight...eat to maintain, as far as i know (& i very well could be wrong), but 138 at 5'3'' is healthy to maintain while you are getting your body to feel better. maybe focus on maintenance and strength building AND then try to continue with the loss/successses that you have. i think if your body is telling you that you are hungry a lot, your body is NEEDING some food or something..and you need to adjust and figure out what it is..as opposed to restricting and getting frustrated that you haven't healed the way you would have liked. Mono is a tough disease. You need to recoup and possibly focus on that and at maintaining (not gaining) and then work from there..sounds like this sickness is goign to have to put your original goals back a bit, but for your own health and sanity may be a good thing..

again, just my 2 cents .

Ha-ha-ha! Skyler, that's funny. Fitday sure does not take into account any sickness what so ever. I'll adjust my weight goal according to my health.

You're are right, I'm close enough to what is considered "healthy" weight that weight problem is not going to affect my health as much as other more pressing health issues, like mono and colds. So, I'll make my priority recovery from those things before pushing full throttle on weight loss. I can keep loosing weight, just slowler.

It just helps so much to express all my pains and challenges, and have your guys support! It helps a lot just getting stuff off my chest. My DH is great, but he is kind of tired of hearing the same thing over and over, even though he does not say anything, so I'm very happy I have another outlet

I have done pretty good today, about 1100 calories, even with a bit of ice-cream! Did some light walking around a barn, although did not do much with horses, as it was so cold! Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer, and I'm looking forward to going riding.

sounds like you had a great day! and yes, i've found the forum to find to be a GREAT outlet to discuss and vent this kind of stuff....

enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Today woke up kind of achy and slightly tired, so taking it easy. Still planning on going riding, as it is such a nice day outside! Breakfast - minibagel with creamcheese and a few crackers.

Ok, yesterday was good. I was only at 900 cals, and I had a nice ride. I was tired at first, but the ride seemed to envigorate me, and I felt much better afterwards.

Today I'm also doing better then before health-wise. I hope this will hold up.

Lookin' good NTL - glad you got your ride in. Friends I know that horse back ride, tell me it is great for their mind as well as their body. Also, GREAT to hear that you are feeling better....

Is 900 calories too low?

Check back later..
S

Yes, horse back riding is great for the mind, soul and body! Also, we went on a trail ride with a few friends, and it was really fun.

900 is a bit low, but I did not feel really hungry, and I ate every 2 to 4 hrs, although smaller snacks. Plus, my last week has been higher calorie then normal, and I'm sure I will have around 1300 few days this week, so it will even out in the end. I think as long as I don't make this several day in a row thing, I'll be fine. Speaking of food - I'm hungry now, so going to enjoy lunch!

Good morning every one!

Yesterday was pretty good, at about 1150 cals. I also went for a short 10 min walk during the day. Have to resume stair climbing at work soon. It really helps to take a break in the middle of the day.

Feeling tired and sleepy, but hopefully this will change as morning goes buy. I tend to "wake up" very slowly. Takes hours between me getting out of bed, and my mind resuming its peak sharpness. Tea/coffee usually helps.

Later