Part one... a fresh New Year start.

I would have started off saying 'dear diary', but it all sounds too formal. So... I will leave this more of a confession/rant blog.

I should start off with my statistics I guess, as a personal reminder, and for all who care to read in.

Height: 5 ft 3 in
Weight: 136 lbs (6 lbs away from first goal)
Waist narrowest point: 26 in
Waist belly button: 27.75 in

Daily activities: Walking/jogging approximately an hour. Give or take.

First goal: 130 lbs by February 1, 2009 (have a wedding...)
Second goal: 120 lbs by March 1, 2009
Third goal: 110 lbs by April 1, 2009
Fourth foal: 105 lbs by May 1, 2009 (Showing some horses over the summer.)

My 'BMI' is something about 24...which is 'healthy' I am told... but I have a line going across my stomach from where my 'gut' wrinkles at the belly button. Not very sexy if you ask me...

The healthy weight rage for someone of a 'medium' frame...which is what I've given myself the benefit of the doubt to be is 121 lbs to 135 lbs. So I fail in that category. The 'yourhealthyweight.ca' web site told me anywhere between 101-141 was average for a height of 5 ft 3.

My highest point was 160 lbs...about a year ago. I managed to lose 25 lbs... my lowest point since then has been 132 lbs around. Damn was I proud. Over the winter though it's easy to store the pounds... not sexy. So here I am trying my BEST to eat healthy. Lots of veggies... EXTRA lean meats... EXERCISE and NO SUGAR. I am in a rut... a really big one. I'm on the 'plateau' again one could say.

My dog eats more then me... and he's though to keep weight on. He's a hound/gray hound, something with a ridiculously high metabolism, I am SO jealous. So not only does he get his regular high protein dog food... he gets a good pot full of cooked potatoes and rice. If I don't give him that... he becomes Mr.Skinny...and I get told I don't feed my dog enough. God damn... he eats more then me in groceries alone with out his dog food... it's so depressing.

I did those BMI tests... I could get away with being 104 lbs and still be classified as 'healthy' weight. I know I could stand to lose another 15 lbs-20 lbs but if my bobs get any smaller I'm gonna cry... but losing 30 more lbs? From where? Where do these statistics from from...but I'm trying for 105 lbs.

I am SO sick of all these god damn weight loss ads. Lose 18 lbs in 4 days? Maybe if you get an ENEMA and don't EAT for those 4 days.

Then there's NutriSystem. Yes...VERY educational... and SO cost efficient. Only ABOUT $12/day. Everyone count together now... $84/WEEK... Sure foods included... I spend $60/week MAYBE on myself and my significant other... and he is...well he's not a health nut let's put it that way. So $84/week = $336/month... $4032/YEAR on food. For ONE person...and that's just ABOUT...

I'm not generally this angry I promise. I'm just confused...oh so confused. I counted the food ads on TV one night... while of course working out... I can multitask...GO ME... It was about 3/commercial session. And its nice GREASY food...yum... then I counted the weight loss/work out commercials. There's got to be 1-2/commercial session. So... my brain would love me to indulge in those greasy delights...then it tells me... weight loss would be SO much easier if we had this or that. I'm cheap...I won't even pay for a gym membership. I will jog around my living room and kitchen (it's free) before paying $30/month to use some equipment that someone's just finished sweating all over.

So it's mid January... I can honestly say that there shouldn't be anymore festive feasts to dance around in front of me and tempt me to stuff my face full...that's one thing I'm not very good at. If it's good... I just want more...and a little more...maybe just a little more... then... it's too late. All those useless calories stuffed down my throat. I can honestly say I spend the next day cringing about putting any morsel of food in my mouth, hoping for the next 2 days to balance out for my over eating.

It's one of those things where 'I WILL fit into that little black dress damn it!" Thankfully that's not until February... maybe I can cut down to 130 lbs... that's my first goal. Wait... not maybe. I WILL.

Ciao for now... tomorrow I will ring in my weight and measurements. I plan on keeping note, EVERYDAY.