and because when i look in the mirror lately it looks like i've eaten myself almost twice over...i know i'm still here on the inside...i still sound the same in my head & even feel the same i just don't look the same on the outside!!!

that has to change b/c lifes too short & too god damn wonderful to be feeling out of sync with your own body and appearance...its very discombobulating!! (btw it is a real word i looked it up to check LOL) it also makes you a spectator in your life!!??? viewing from the sidelines... refusing invites to go out/parties etc b/c you're too worried about what you'll wear!! (or rather what you can manage to fit into...with magic pants of course LOL)

such a shame aswell as i have lots of lovely clothes...that friends & my sister keep borrowing...knowing i can't fit into them anymore!! so much for sisterhood...they are deriving pleasure from my pain...i'll show them!!

Get out of my head! Wow, the language you used here really strikes a chord with me. Well, aside from "discombobulating" of course.

I love your attitude and I'm right there with ya about recognizing the greatness of life and yet feeling like a spectator.

I'm looking forward to following your progress.

Edit* - Did I mention I love your title

welcome to the new you. you asked about the ticker in another thread and i responded with an answer, but i'll post it here just in case you don't go back. You simple past the link into the text box of the signature it is should work fine.
So what are your overall goals? Can't wait to read the progress you've made.

Also... schwa, i swear i am not stalking you. I noticed that we have typed in all the same threads, i guess you are hitting up all the newbie threads like me so we can all stick together. Good minds think alike after all!

thanks to you both...but i still can't do it!! doh me!!

it keeps saying the following:

Your signature cannot be longer than 150 characters excluding BB code markup

what am i doing wrong??

anyway i have it up & running on my igoogle page...maybe thats enough for now...as spent the last couple of yrs doing a very good job of avoiding thinking exactly how much weight i have put on...at the same time being intensely aware of it too!! IYKWIM!! see schwa that word fits here too!! maybe 'discombobulating' should be my signature...very apt


ps between you and me...i have 61 lbs i'd like to get rid of!! any takers?!

well with the ticker thingy anyway!!

re my goals???

hmmmm i know i should say to get healthy & fit blahblahblah....but if i'm honest...i just want to feel sexy & sassy again!! actually no...the sassiness i've still got in bucket loads...just ask my estranged mother & ex husbands (yes plaural LOL) so yes its just the sexy thing...am i really that shallow??!! yes afraid so...but do i get credit for being honest??!

lol, grats on your ticker success.

I wouldn't call it shallow to want other people to find you attractive. I would call that "perfectly normal."

Oh, and no thank you. You can find someone else to accept those 61 pounds. I have enough of my own already and wouldn't want to appear greedy.

Not a reason in the world i can think of that constitute wanting to be sexy as "shallow". Its your body.. you make it look how you want it to look! I'll be following along, just to make sure i get to see the sexy side of you when this is all said and done!

oh and grats on the ticker!

for a long as i can remember i've liked the instant comfort food can give you & i know i have used it to change my moods/give me emotional comfort...silly how that looks as i write it out...but true.

why food????

& not alcohol?? or drugs?? (y'know drug drugs LOL) who knows??

i like a nice glass of red wine or baileys (yum!! tastes like choc!!) but never a problem saying no to an extra drink...but saying no to an extra piece of cake??! what?? are you insane??! LOL now that takes some doing!! was a bit of a partygirl back in the day...even danced on a few podiums when the rave scene first started 16yrs or so ago (in little kylie type hotpants!!) so yes i'll admit to trying a few recreational substances...& yes unlike clinton i did inhale!! but again never got me hooked at all. could take it or leave it.

but still even though i was always slim i had an infamous chocolate addiction. how did i manage to stay slim for so long?? (uk size 10/american size 6 till mid 30's) goodness where to start??! coffee/cigarrettes (gave up 10yrs ago when found out expecting 2nd child) & careering from one drama filled relationship to the next meant for the most part living on my nerves...i'd put on & lose the same half stone (7lbs). if stressed/upset i'd pig out on choccies...then lose it before the next week...one of those annoying skinny types who (on the surface anyway...) looked like she could eat anything & stay slim... i would even try & tempt my curvier friends to indulge in a slab of choccie cake too!! god i bet they must have loved that... my best friend used to say i'd look good in a bin bag...like i say one of 'those' girls!!


edit...

btw my BF meant i'd look good even just dressed in a bin bag back in my super slim days (with heels of course!!) not that she'd like to see me stuffed in a bin bag for tempting her with choccie cakes...actually now i think about it maybe she did!! LOL

hmmmmm re sexy side...i've put a pic of me in my albums from a few yrs ago..
hope no one takes offence...not porn i promise!! its not like i'm naked...LOL

re above...for those young un's on here its a reference to a song LOL.


as for my being slim for so long albeit with a terribly lazy attitude to diet/healthy eating... more fool me b/c if i'd actually made a habit of exercing my willpower occasionally back then i would have the experience now to draw upon!! instead at 42 (almost) i'm having to rethink my whole approach & relationship to food!! dammit!!

& the friends who have struggled with weight issues their whole lives?? (& yes who i used to tempt with cake!!) are now slimmer & fitter than they've ever been!! karma sucks!! now i'm the 'curvy' one amongst us??! noooooo!!!!

I saw your pics.. hawt! haha. I am sure you will be able to look food in the face and tell it who's boss! I am sure you can find a different vice. I love reading your rambles. fun times.

a different vice??! no i'm a good girl i am


honest...truly i am...why what have you heard??! LOL

hahaha. I guess i could chose better words, but you know what i mean. replacing the food with something else. i am loving this community!

A good girl? is that one of those "Sooo bad you're good" kind of things? Great pics! But you still have to post your afters, so keep it up!