I've tried one of these before, last summer. I only posted about 2-3 entries before I stopped using it. This is another attempt. I'm basically just using this to verbalize my goals, and activities, and whatever else comes to mind.

I don't really want comments. Feel free to do so, but don't take it to heart if I ignore you.




Anyway, so at the beginning of this month I decided to take a sharper focus on my weight loss. The first week started out pretty good. I got in about 40 minutes of light cardio a day, was able to cut out junk snacks, and was able to reduce my meal portions. Towards the end of the week, I was feeling good and noticed that I wasn't really bothered by my hunger. I was eating more appropriately and was able to ignore my craving to binge.

Into the second week, I got a bit stressed. Took a day off from exercising and then got back into my bad habits. For the rest of that week that I didn't do well.

Third week in, things are alright. I was able to exercise 40-60 minutes a day, but my eating and sleeping habits were horrible. I ate junk, and ate too much. I also messed up my sleeping pattern and added more stress to my body and mind.

This week has been about the same as last week. Today I got in about 40 minutes of cardio, and 15 minutes of weight lifting. Today I ate snack bar and a protein shake for breakfast. For lunch I had a large portion of fried rice and chicken with water to drink, followed by a croissant snack. Then I had a green tea not to long ago. I'll probably try for a light dinner then go to bed.

So I had another stressful weak. It pretty much began last thursday after a class and carried on through the weekend. I ended up binging on thursday, procrastinating on friday, sleeping through all of saturday, and then stressing myself more last night by trying to do last minute homework until late in the morning that i should have done in the weekend.

Because of that I ended up cutting school early today and coming home to just crash. I woke up about two hours ago, and I decided that I had been putting off exercising a bit too much. I wasn't really feeling up to it but aftering sitting there and doing nothing I decide to block out my negative thoughts and just go 'do it.' I just finished a 40 minute cardio session and took a nice shower. Now I am sitting by my window (its a nice night) and listening to the silence, and feeling relaxed. I think that stress I was having has been reduced a lot, and I can thank to exercise today for that. :-)

I got to wondering why I've been stressed out. I think my body image is started to oppress my self-image. I remember sitting in class on thursday, and just feeling overall uncomfortable with myself and my surroundings. My clothes felt worn out and I could feel the fat between my belly and my chest touching too much as I was sitting. I just felt really horrid, while I was looking around the room and seeing how healthy and at ease the slimmer peers looked. It just got me down I guess.

I am hoping to keep my mindset back on exercising and dieting. I am going to try to go back to my 20 minute morning cardio and 20-30 minute evening cardio routine, while trying to cutting out snack foods and reduce my intake of carbs.

Also, if I do well this week, I plan to take myself shopping on Saturday for some new clothes.