For this first post I will just do a brief summary of me, and how I came to be here...
I am currently 24 years old. I've had a bit of a crazy life (but then again, who hasn't). And throughout my years my weight has fluctuated, but generally stayed lower.
I had a child, when I was 17 (please spare me lectures) and was able to lose the weight within 2 years and look like myself again.
And then I don't know what happened.
I guess I got too comfortable with myself, and with my life, and didn't watch what I ate anymore. I had a boyfriend who loved me, and accepted me, and I suppose that made me not be as careful about my body.
I got married almost 2 years ago (to him, he's also the father of our child), and I guess it's similar, I was just too comfortable with my life, and knowing that he was happy with me how I was.
At one point I remember going to the doctor's office for a check-up and seeing that my weight was 168lbs. I thought - "ugh, really? When did that happen?" but didn't really do anything about it.
My son's birthday part in December really shook me up a bit. I had noticed pics of myself prior to that - trying always to only do head-shots, but I wasn't the one taking the pictures that day. And looking back I was disgusted with myself, and what I looked like. I'd look in the mirror and think "I'm not that bad" and people would tell me the same. But pictures don't lie.
So I decided that I had to lose weight, for health and looks. Somewhere inside I knew I was overweight, but I wouldn't admit it to myself. So, the last week in December I sucked it up and went to weight watchers - I thought I'll just sign-up to get the booklets and info and that's that. I stepped on the scale, she filled in my book. I got into my car and looked at what she had written - 218lbs. I lost it, I started crying, bawling actually, all the way home. I couldn't believe it had gotten that out of control.
So I began to do something about it. I began to use Wii fit each morning (I know it's kind of lame, but it's cheaper than a gym membership and if you actually put effort into it, it helps) and doing Weight Watchers - not going to meetings, just by myself. Within 2 1/2 months I had lost 20lbs. I was ecstatic! I had reached my first goal, and was under 200lbs.
Then I got a sinus infection, which made me feel yuck all the time, especially in the mornings, taking away my will to work out. And then work became really stressful, more than usual, and I found myself eating/snacking all the time, and craving my carbs. I knew I had gained weight, but I owned it and tried to get back into things, and found it had only been a 4lb gain.
But at that moment - this was a few days ago, I realized that I had lost my motivation. I would tell myself to not eat that cookie, or that tomorrow I really had to start working out again. But it's not helping.
So I thought that maybe having this site would help. Make me more responsible, since I can tell myself that others are now involved. It's not just me.
My husband is trying to be understanding, but he doesn't know what it's like. He's always been skinny no matter what he eats, he doesn't know the awful feeling of needing to binge, or how it feels when you're embarrased to let your loved one see you in your underwear.
But anyway. That's me for now. Hopefully I can get back on track. I'm thinking of buying a bike...

How much weight do you want to lose? 83lbs
What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? I don’t have a specific date, but I do want to do it as quickly as healthy.
How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Exercising, and weight watchers system
Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? My husband and my friends, but they don’t really understand.
How realistic is your goal? I think it is very realistic.
When will you start? Technically I already did, but I need a restart to keep going. That will be tomorrow.
1. What is your current height and weight? 5’4” 203lbs
2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be? 135lbs
3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? 160lbs
4. Why do you want to lose weight? Physical health, looks and mental health
5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event? nope
6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals? When I get stressed or depressed I tend to over-eat. Plus, I like the taste of good food.
7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem? Because I am unhealthy, I’m depressed over it, and I can see it.
8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight? Coping skills, stress management, increase exercise, better eating habits, less snacking, no binge-ing.
9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight? Yes, weight watchers and exercise
10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back? I stopped paying attention
11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work? Cutting things completely out of my diet. The things I cut out are the things I crave, and then I feel guilty and give up.
12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time? I’ve tried, can’t stick with it.
13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook? Try to every night, I pack my lunches and eat oatmeal each morning.
14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go? Not very often. If we do it’s usually Mexican or pizza.
15. What are your three favorite foods? Pasta, buffalo wings, chocolate
16. What are your three favorite restaurants? Mexican, Italian, and this really neat ice-cream shop.
17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food? Eat smaller portions, better choices, less snacking
18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different? I would be skinnier, toned, and happy.
19. Do you eat when you are not hungry? yup
20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)? yup
21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret? Don’t hide it, but sometimes I will quickly eat something so that people won’t see
22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed? All of the above
23. Do you eat as a reward? nope
24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer? yup
25. What do you normally eat for a meal? For dinner, usually some meat, veggies, and starch of sorts.
26. What type of snacks do you eat? Rice cakes, carrots, cookies, chips
27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing? Trying to get back to the Wii fit, and thinking of buying a bike.
28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home? Home, I can’t afford a gym, plus I’m too embarrassed.
29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise? Walking, bike riding, swimming
30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals? To lose weight, and to look better
31. Do you have rewards for certain goals? no

Hey Meli D!

Welcome, I guess I could say!

You've had a lot going on in your life, we're the same age, yet you have a child, you're married, all of that. wow, I feel unaccomplished.

So great that you've already lost weight, now it's just finding ways and getting used to losing more. You definitely can do it!

When I read your post I remember when I was at my heaviest (somewhere around 200) I remember too being sooo aware of cameras, and always avoiding the bad angles. Everytime I saw that someone had taken a photo without me knowing it and I saw it I was like "oh wow, is that really me? I'm huge, delete it" Just a horrible feeling when you don't like the image of yourself.. I have a hard time even looking back at those pictures now!

that Wii Fit looks really cool. You really shouldn't understimate the magic it can do. I think it's basically a matter of finding some kind of exercise that YOU enjoy! So what if its lame! It wont look lame when you lost a bunch of weight with it!


This website does keep you kindof responsible, unless you stop visiting it haha. I would suggest joining some kind of challange. I'm doing a "1% / week in March" challange now, and for me, having to post my weight change every week keeps me on track!


Anyways, I just wanted to say good luck to you. You really seem determined and that's great!


-Mimmi-

welcome to the site....good luck with your journey.....dont give up!