I am excited to begin this weight loss life-change, and even more excited to have found such a comprehensive and motivational forum on which to do it. I have struggled with my weight for too long and am ready for it to end.
Reminders for myself to review when I need to:
1. I want to be (more) active with my kids
2. I want to feel confident in my own skin
3. I don't want to feel like my husband is starting to lose attraction to me
4. I want to be healthy; for me and my family
5. I do not want to struggle with obesity

My mother, along with most of the women in my family, has a weight problem. Before having children she was bikini-hot skinny. Now she is Obese. It is effecting her health, and it makes me sad. No one feels comfortable speaking to her very directly about it, b/c we know it makes her sad and defensive. SO we don't. Which is sad. I too now have gone up 35 lbs in weight (avg. maintaining weight) since before I had my kids. And I was a little overweight then!!

My weight when I got married was about 150 (I am 5'6) and I was "ok" with that. (would've LOVED 140...but I looked good). My current goal is 155. I was hovering around 212 for some time. I just had my gallbladder removed surgically and am down to 202. (hoping that stays off, but realize that it may fluctuate a bit). I enjoy working out and need to organize my time better so that it is a priority. I have a gym membership to a 24hr. gym...so there are no excuses. My most common excuse for not worrking out is that I need to spend the time with my kids. I think that is b/c I have some guilt over being a working mom and having mykids in full time daycare. But I CAN and WILL find time to excercize that does not take away from my time with them.

I hate being fat. I hate pics of myself. I hate trying on clothes ans seeing the size of the clothes I wear. I am unhappy. And only I have the key to change that. I must take this seriousely. No pizza or cheeseburger is worth the sadness I feel when I look at my body. I need to be in control.

I had a heart to heart with a close friend of mine a few months back. She was confiding in me about her marital problems. She told me her husband put on weight and she no longer felt attracted to him physically and that it was affecting their emotional bond. I wanted to climb under the table and cry as she was talking. I would be so sad to hear my husband speak of me that way. I didn't blame or judge her, b/c she was only being completely open and honest with me. But it was an eye-opener.

My husband an I won a Bahamian Cruise. We go some time this summer/fall (the date has not been secured yet). I want to feel good. I don't want to run for my towel. I do not want to regret that my husband has a chubby wife. I want to be better.

I also live ina community with a private clubhouse pool. We are there ALL the time in the summer (w/ two lil boys you get why). There are a lot of smokin' moms there. I always feel bad. I want that to change.

This time HAS to be different from all the rest. I MUST stick to this this time. I am glad that b/c of my gallbladder surgery I am forced to stick with a low fat diet. Once my pain ends (surgery was just last friday) I will get into working out, but I don't want to rush that and do harm that would prolong my recovery.

I will journal along the way. I have not done this before and I think it will help. I am also weighing myself daily.

Wish me luck......on second thought...I don't need luck, b/c I will win with effort and perseverence!!!

Hey there! Thank you for posting in my dairy, I was starting to feel all alone, but I don't want to get responses by complaining and demanding attention lol. Isn't it a wonderful thing when you finally dig up the will power that was in you all along. I look forward to reading about your journey and being able to share in each others progress. I'll keep you on track if you keep me on track . You have to go to the gym now because I am counting on you hehe.

How old are your little ones? You know the weather is getting nice so something you could do is take them to the play ground and run all over with them. You can turn all that play equipment into a gym, burn off some calories.. and have an awesome play time with the kiddos. You could make up games in your back yard too. If they are to little for that you could jog/walk them in a stroller. Since you have a 24 hour member ship you could also go really early or after they were in bed if you really didn't want to miss any time.Just a few ideas.

Also do not ever EVER feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Time to make you healthy.. make you live longer.. live better. That hour or so you take for you a day.. that hour that makes you feel good about yourself.. makes you happier. It changes everything. And think of the positive example it will show your kids.. that its a good thing to care about yourself.. and its ok to take the time to do it.

I hope your feeling better soon from your surgery.. keep that positive attitude up! Time to get make up for my missed workout yesterday.

I weighed myself today.still at 202 but thats more than ok for now. B/c I am doing NO excercise (still in recovery mode). I am eating way way healthier tho and LOVE it. Now if I could feel better enough to get some excercise!!

Haven't doen measurements yet today.....maybe I'll go do that now.

Good effort getting started

My trick for measuring is to start with the tape just loose enough to wrap around you and slide back and forth then slowly tighten just till it will no longer move. If I don't do that I dunno how tight or how loose I held it the last time and that can easily be a couple inches on my jelly thighs :P

Great job on eating better! What they say is true, you really can retrain your taste buds. I am in the process of doing just that and already I can taste the difference he he. I really hate veggies but I am making myself eat them everyday anyway.. and they are the first thing i eat so I can pretend I am to full to eat them. I am such a picky eater..

Maintaining weight is sure as heck better then gaining! Just make sure when you do start working out that you get in enough calories. I don't want you to have to learn the lesson I did the hard way. 2 pounds lost in 6 weeks eating only 1500cals day working out 6 days a week just sucks.. and its depressing.
I upped it to 2000... lowered my cardio and the scale is now moving again. (knocks on wood)

Alrighty, was so happy with the scale this am....ok...with myself Down another pound.

Went to the doc yesterday.....long story......but the jist of it is no excercise till at least my next week. (Honestly I can barely walk without wincing in pain, and she almost wanted to re-hosp me b/c there is fluid around my surgery site....so I am happy to just be taking it easy and getting better).

Sooooo. I have not been counting to the exact # my calories but have been guestimating as the day goes. It's working for now. Once I start excercising again I will probably need to be even more strict.

Thanks for the support anyone who has stopped by to say hi. Making friends along this journey sure makes it more fun.

I bought a book yesterday...I actually saw it recemmended by a member of this forum...it is called You Can Heal Your Life. by Louise Haye. It is just an inspiration/self help type book......which is not my typical read....but I picked it up and it looks interesting to use as a tool as I am trying to get through this period of being strong and trying to make personal change. I'll post more as I gett deeper into the book...I just cracked it open.

What else???? I don't know....thats all for now I guess. Oh yeah, never did do my measurements yesterday. Can you say AVOIDANCE!!! lol. And considered for a brief sec doing before photos, but no way. can't do it. Too chicken. lol

OK.....TTFN

You should do some before pics. You don't have to share them on here, but just to have for yourself. It will give you something to compare a few months from now. And the measurements are sooooo nice to have when the scale stops moving because if your doing the right things the tape will still get smaller. That was what kept me going, I needed to see something improve.

Sorry to hear that you are still in pain, that really sucks. Lots of rest for you! let your body get to 100% before you go full force into this. Get better soon

Hey Time! Thanks for stopping by the journal and great start! You will get back on track in no "time" and give those hot moms at the pool a run for their money! YOu got this!

Today I stayed home from work again. But I might go tomorrow. At least for awhile. Anyway....took my measurements last night and am keeping track of them weekly on this awesome Spreadsheet I got from a great friend

I also started tracking calories. I looked into it last night and decided I should eat about 1600 while I am not excercising at all and bump it up to about 2000 once I hit the gym again. So today...even with eating out, I did ok.

Breakfast-Yogurt 110
Lunch-Turkey Sandwhich-215
Pretzles-220
Grapes-0

Snack-Granola Bar-160
tootsie roll-30
Dinner-Panera (upick2) Ck frontega/Asian salad/baguette/Iced GreenT- 900

Total for day-1635

So I am happy with that. Don't want to be too graffic, but lets just say I learned today why they say not to eat processed/fast foods after losing your Gallbladder. Ummmmm...glad I ate it at home and not out...lol.

I am eager to weigh myself tomorrow. Hopefully the scale reflects my 1/2 good day and then not s good day but ummm...quick processing of that meal...lol.

OOOO its like a fancy diet pill built right into your body

That's awesome that you've started keeping track of the calories. It can be annoying to start off with but now my little book is my friend hehe. I hope your weigh in tomorrow reflects on your good choices! And way to go on measuring, you'll be glad to have it during the times when the scale goes on vacation and just leaves up the same old numbers. How are you feeling now?

So here I am. At the place I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS get to. About a week or two into a diet (or trying to lose weight), I lose focus and begin to back slide. I haven't logged on here for like 4 days, I haven't journaled (or counted) calories since tuesday (today is sat) and I made a few bad choices as well....ice-cream one night, piece of pizza the other day, Bagle and cream cheese the other morning.

Why? I think b/c I went back to work and was wiped out and didn't make it a priority to plan and chart calories so I let myself put it into the back of my mind.

However, this time is going to be different than the others, so I am making note of this pattern and stopping it NOW. Tomorrow is Easter and we have two parties to attend (brunch and dinner) so it will be hard to count my calories. But I am going to be as good as I can. Avoid high fats, take small portions, etc. AND

I got the ok to workout from the doc yesterday so when my hubby gets home from Tball practice with my son, I am going to the gym. I will probably take it light, but at least I will go.

Here's to catching a negative pattern early and stopping it.

(Oh-I have been weighing myself and I am still about 202....so not too much regression...then again...it usually sneaks up on ya about 3 days later.) Hmmmph. I am really mad at myself, but I know I can do better. Starting right now.

Don't give up now. You CAN do this. I feel like my progress has been slow, and I get impatient and want to be thin and beautiful now. I get frustrated with my cereal for breakfast.. and my turkey sandwich and carrots for lunch, but it's slowly and surely becoming a normal part of my day. If I hadn't stuck with this I'd easily be 220 right now. Instead because I am still making better decisions I am at 185. So 17 pounds gone rather then gained or just maintained. And don't feel bad about what you eat... hell go read my diary LOL.. I have my snacks at night.. and pizza.. yeah well... the 4 pieces I just ate were delicious.. and I'll be jump roping in the basement for a while in hopes of burning a little off :P.

It takes time for it to become a part of your life.

ITS EASY TO GET FAT

It's harder to take it off, but its so worth it. Please keep going!! You have lots of support here and I've missed you!

Thanks so so much!! It has been so good for me to log on here and read your journals and a few others. I am NOT ready to give up. Not at all. I just need to keep this goal a priority and not let life get in the way and slip back to my old and unheathy habbits. Thanks again-You're the best!!

You can do it! Get past that two week hump and plow your way forward. The long you stick with it the easier it will become. Life wont get in the way because it will become a normal part of your life.

Hey girl, just checking in on you! Don't worry about these last couple of days. We ALL do it. It's hard to live your life and be conscious about every detail and choice that you make, especially if you someone isn't eyeing you the whole time and watching your every move.... You can do this! Trust me, I had a bad week too, but I just remind myself that it took me awhile to get fat and it's going to take twice as long to lose it. When I finally get to my goal weight, I know I can maintain it and become the person I've always wanted to be! You can do it! I'm glad you get to work out! That will help take your mind off these last few days....