Hello everyone, I'm new here. I've been a part of the site for a few months, and I've decided that I need to do a diary, badly. I'll tell you a little about myself.

I actually began my weight loss journey back in October. Halloween was coming up, and for the past 2 years I have cosplayed as an anime character. But this time, I was tired of dressing in a full length costume just to hide my 'ugly' body. I wanted to wear a cute, short skirt, and have a slim waist. Also, I realized, I wanted to feel good about myself. There are so many things that I wanted to do, but I felt so lethargic, it seems impossible.

My family has always been on the heavy side, at least my mom's side. They love homestyle, Southern cooking, and everyone grows up the same way. They are active when they are young, but as soon as they get married, it's like their health is put on the back burner. Heck, it's put in the closet and locked away, it seems. I remember only being 13 and wearing a size 13, and none of my family bothered to tell me that I was gaining more weight than I should be. To them, it was normal. Everyone was 'husky' or 'had meat on their bones'. And that's how I saw it too.

When I was 18, I was just at 147 lbs. I have a small frame, and I'm very short, so that much weight made me look very bloated. I refused to even wear pants anymore and opted for long, flowing skirts instead. I started working the summer before I turned 19, and even though it was a desk job, I kept myself very busy and managed to drop 5 lbs.

Forward to last October, when I wanted to cosplay and wear that short skirt I always wanted. I knew nearly nothing about losing weight, so I did a dumb thing and only started working out a week before the 31st. Surely, I thought, I will at least tone up. Wrong. Either way, I sucked it up, and sucked it in, and wore the costume I bought. But that moment really motivated me.

I tried taking this to a different level. I bought a DDR pad and began playing it every day after school. I did it until my ankles were numb and my calves were cramped. I also changed my eating habits. I ate alot of fruits, veggies, protein, fiber, etc. No more sweets, sodium, or greasy foods. And definitely no more fat. I downed at least 6 bottles of water everyday.

Here were my starting stats from October:
Age: 21
Starting weight: 143
Height: 5' 2.5"
BMI:26
Measurements
Bicep: 12
Bust: 39
Waist: 30
Hip: 40.5
Thigh: 24
Calf: 15

My current stats are as follows:
Age: 21.5
Weight: 127
BMI: 23
Measurements
Bicep: 10.5
Bust: 36.5
Waist: 27
Hip: 39
Thigh: 22.25
Calf: 14

I think I got a pretty good start so far, so that makes me happy. It's far from over though. I would like to shrink a little more so I can wear that string bikini I've been saving all this time. My goal weight is around 120, or at least a size 5 in pants. If I get brave, I may post a picture or two.

Oh, almost forgot. I may not play DDR as much as I wanted, but I still work out. I have a gym/health class at my college that I go to twice a week. I lift weights for 45 minutes, then do cardio for about 15-20 minutes. I figure that muscle is alot harder to lose than fat, so it's better to do that to help with my fat loss. I... think.

Anyway, I hope having this diary can stave away my cravings for sweets, and give me motivation to do my absolute best. Also, I *love* hearing replies.

Oh hello there, you look familiar! Haven't seen you in a while!

Haha, but jokes aside. I found this old-ish journal, and I want to continue it a bit.

Back in April, my weight loss stagnated and I didn't see a need to write in here unless I kept seeing progress. Also, we moved to Okinawa Japan in the mean time, so unfortunately I put my health on the back burner.

However, since living here I've had a job at the local Base Exchange (the biggest one in the Pacific, and second biggest in the ENTIRE WORLD) and they really put me to work physically. When I hadn't even been there for a couple of weeks, I was already noticing a change in energy and musculature. I was surprisingly shocked. Lifting those huge boxes, pushing heavy-laden carts, and running around for customers... it all helped me? Wow!

My stats as of now (Dec. 03, 2009):
Age: 22
Weight: 126.6
Height: 62.5 inches
BMI: 22.8

Measurements:
Bicep: 10.25
Bust: 36.25
Waist: 26.5
Hip: 39
Thigh: 22.75
Calf: 14

My main means of exercise are through work, and all the tasks I do. I'm estimating a lot of boxes to be between 40-60 lbs, and the carts I push can be up to 100 lbs (just depends what's in them). I do this consistently over a 6 hour period. My off days are my rest days, but I still continue my cardio by walking outside or playing my trusty DDR games. I have a sports watch that tracks my heart rate and that helps me.

Anyway, that's it for today. It's about 1 PM right now, and I'm going to find a nice, healthy lunch. I'm glad that even though I lost my way for several months, I'm able to get back on track. Let's keep going!

I signed up at FitDay.com and have been entering all of the food I eat during the day, including all the diet sodas I sneak and the sweets I shouldn't have. But even still... Apparently I'm not eating enough.

Doing the math, I have a BMR of 1400 calories per day, and an RMR of 1300 calories per day. They're pretty close to each other, not sure what that really means. I'll have to research it somehow.

So I enter all the food/drinks I consume, and I come anywhere from 750-1250 calories. I know you think "Oh, 1250 isn't so bad. Besides, if you wanna lose weight, you have to cut calories. Calories in, calories out." I think so too. But I keep looking at that 750... and that's really the kind of day I usually have. Because of school and work, I eat a bit of breakfast in the morning, usually cereal of some sort, then I go the next 6-7 hours without food, only a diet soda (I only get one 15 minute break at work) and then when I get home, I play some DDR, do some toning exercises, and eat dinner (which is whatever Mom makes). Kind of a bland and boring process, I know... but with Finals coming up, I'm not sure if I can really do much better.

Either way, I don't want to fall off the wagon again. By last April, I was down to 125, only 5 lbs away from my goal... and then we moved to Okinawa. Only after I got my job secured did I decide to start working out again, but I feel like there's a bit more pressure on me now. There are beautiful Japanese girls everywhere! And they are willowy and slim, and it makes me want to try harder to lose my body fat. I don't want to be another fat American on the island, taking up space and stuff. Sorry if that's offensive.

So... I'll leave it here for now. Tomorrow is another day, right? Let's not mess up this time.

Today was not the best. I'm not proud of it. But I'm here to write it down. I will try to keep this health/fitness-focused, because I have another journal for my other stuff. But if certain things leak in, I'm sorry.

I woke up at 12 noon. Not the smartest thing, but at least I got plenty of rest. Or too much. I go to college classes until 10:30/11 PM (whenever the teacher decides to dismiss), so I do stay up kind of late. However, I go to work fairly early as well. I have to be there by 8 AM sometimes, which means I have to sleep immediately after I get home from class the night before. That's fine I guess... I just personally don't like it.

As far as food goes, it wasn't pretty. But here it is:
Breakfast: 1 bowl of cereal, dry. 1 banana.
Lunch: Mixed nuts, salted with sea salt.
Snack: 8 Tostino's Pizza bites
Dinner: Spaghetti with Italian sausage/tomatoes/peppers, one 5 inch garlic bread stick.
Water drank: roughly 40 oz.

It's not ALL bad... I dunno. It's a little difficult right now. I won't get into it though right now, maybe next time.

And now the part I'm most disappointed with: Exercise. Essentially, I began to do exercises today, but never really worked up a sweat... never got into it. I just wasn't feeling it. I started to play some DDR, warmed up with some Standard songs, started playing on Heavy (the highest difficulty), and then... my dad came home. And I stopped. It felt like I was on strings or something, like someone was making me stop. His very presence made me stop, it seemed. I found myself switching off my console and rolling up my dance pad, leaving the room altogether. It was so weird. I then realized later that I was so afraid that he would make fun of me.

But that aside, I waited until later in the day (when he left the house) and did several exercises with my resistance bands, mostly lower body work. But again, my heart just wasn't into it, even though I did several reps of each exercise. I don't know what's wrong with me. *sigh* I need encouragement. But nobody answers here... I guess it's okay, I'll live. At least I get pageviews.

So... with 10 minutes til Midnight over here, I'll bid you adieu.

Yesterday I didn't write because I felt so awful about it. But let's go through it again, I guess.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, instant.
Lunch: Subway chicken teriyaki on wheat (w/ pickles, lettuce, and black olives)
Dinner: Michelina's white chicken penne.
Snack: Cereal (I love cereal, even though I probably eat too much of it)

My exercise went a bit better, although I didn't do any cardio. Instead, I busted out a book I bought about half a year ago, Making the Cut by Jillian Michaels, and I did her initial fitness tests (heart rate, push ups, sit ups, and wall sit) and by her standards, I'm in the below average to average range. Ughhh... >_< And so what I've done is picked several exercises out of the back that work with the equipment I already have (basically anything with dumbbells and resistance bands, or just your own body)

I want to do those initial fitness tests at least 3 times a week, and I'll track my progress. For example, I was only able to do 21 sit ups in a minute, so the next time, I'll push for say... 23. Just little steps. This is the same thing I do when I play DDR. If I make a score at 8.5 million, I'll try for 8.6 million and so on. I beat a lot of my high scores that way ^_^

So with that said, um... after all that, I got on the computer last night at about 10 PM, watching some Biggest Loser episodes (I miss that show), and suddenly I felt sooo hungry. I had my water bottle right there, so I drank the whole thing hoping that would cure my hunger. It didn't. So I did the bad thing and got some Pizza rolls from the kitchen and ate them so fast, I couldn't even remember them being on the plate. Then I kicked myself because I'm never going to lose weight like this! Being at such a low-ish weight already, it's just that much harder to lose. And I'm ruining it by eating before bedtime. And not even something healthy! It's pizza, come on!

But lo and behold, I woke up this morning and got on the scale... I had lost a pound. And not a .4 or something where I round down and pretend, no... I had gone from 127.0 to 126.0. Amazing.

On another note, I tried attaching a photo of me from this past summer. I'm at the Eisa festival ('cause I'm in Japan right now) and it was HOT. So naturally I'm wearing shorts and short sleeves, and I'm SWEATY! I'll definitely consider this a Before picture. I'm about 133 here, btw.

Anyway, today is a new day, and I need to get going. For all those people giving me pageviews, see you later.

Attached Thumbnails

 

Got on the scale this morning.... I saw a number that was insane. 125.4 Seriously?? I mean, I know it's in the morning, and I know I used the toilet, but really!? It's just crazy.

I didn't have to go in for work until 4:30, so I put on my Jillian Michaels podcast in my wanna-be iHome (called an iBand) and did all kinds of exercises in my room. For some reason, she really motivates me, I dunno... maybe because I don't get encouragement at home (for obvious reasons), I like to rely on her words while I lift weights or whatever. I'm ridiculous, I know.

I brought my DDR back into my room, but my dance pad isn't responsive. I've taken it apart before, and had it in the living room, and it worked PERFECT. That narrows it down to only one reason why it's failing so hard in my room: carpet. Curse you carpet! You're impeding my favorite method of cardio!

Oh yeah, and I ate like crap today. I had the Michelina's white chicken penne again (last one in the house), and then all I had on my break at work was a can of orange juice, which tasted heavenly. Then I get home at 10:45 PM and I just want to inhale the entire contents of the fridge. But I opt for about 9 chicken nuggets, along with my bottled water. So I really ate next to nothing today. Not good. But tomorrow is Sunday (for me), so I'm sure the family and I will go out to eat somewhere, and I can eat the correct amount of calories for the day.

With that said........ 125.4 lbs!!! I'm still incredulous. And asking myself, why am I still jiggly? Rhetorical, don't answer that. Anyway, g'night everyone ^_^

Hello...
I have been here since two years and some. I have only lost thirty five pounds. I had lost fifty, but than one day I met this guy. Who I am still with and he reintroduced chocolate. And I sat back and thought, "Do I have a piece or not?"
I had a piece needless to say and have gained about twenty back. ugh...

but as far as you ... you are definitely not eating enough. Thats as close as you can get to anorexia. I was anorexic all my life. I gained from this steroid med for the arthritis. I was a size 18 when I was 17. Not happy!!!

and my parents and grandmother always called me fat, which gave me a complex. Your gonna have to suck it up and eat more, but eat healthy. Those pizzas are not the greatest things for you.


oh btw. I lost sixty pounds in three months, while in college over the summer back ten years ago. I ended up in the hospital, because all I was taking in was milk, fruit and a dinner at night. I would have died. Dont want to go into the gruesome details. but I would say ... dont pay attention to the other girls. You look fine, actually you look perfect in your pic you posted. I have yet to understand why peeps think that looking like a skeleton is really all that attractive ..ugh

You have a hard schedule obviously, I can understand that.

as far as wanting to eat the whole fridge. Yea thats what made me gain my weight. I was sucking down everything.


Your body is telling you, you are depriving yourself of nutrients and food. a supplment will not do it either, you need to eat.

good luck hun.

I plan to start my new diary now. But I wasnt going to write, but I can see the pattern your heading into, its an ani_mia problem...

anorexic, binge cycle.

I did that for years, and still do. Its a prob. I go for five days, no eats, or barely any, than I binge... ugh

good luck hun
best wishes
natalie jo

Hmm... as much as I want to protest, I know that any kind of denial will just send up red flags. Thank you for pointing all of this out to me. My mother never comments on how much I weigh, except for one time where she said "I just don't want you to be anorexic". That was a year and a half ago, when I very first started exercising. However, sharing my current weight loss with some friends, I had one guy point out the same thing. "You could be anorexic soon if you don't stop," he says.

I've decided to make my final goal 119-121 instead of my original 115-118, because if there's that much concern over it, then maybe I'm in the wrong. I'm okay with that... I guess I just wanted this to happen so bad and for so long. Now that I'm finally losing weight, I don't want it to stop. I want my clothes to get looser until they fall off. I want to prove to my mom that losing weight can be done, because she doesn't think she can do it (and she's borderline obese for her height). I want to prove to my father that I'm not lazy and that I can work hard. I want to be cliche and have a nice boyfriend. All kinds of reasons... I guess they're all the wrong reasons.

However, I can't see myself stopping this cycle. I don't feel lightheaded or starved to death (the whole I wanna eat the fridge thing was just once). I've been drinking so much water, my nails are growing back, my hair isn't breaking off, my face is clearing up, and I just feel lighter. I have much more energy at work...

I'm not sure what to say about it beyond that. But... thanks for bringing it up. I'll have to really reflect on this for a bit.

I'm reeeeally tired right now, so I'll just say that I got on the scale this morning and saw 124.6. Exactly one pound lower from the previous morning. Yeah, I know... not good. But I'll take it.

Let's see... food.
Breakfast: scrambled egg whites, with a dash of pepper
Lunch: Grilled chicken with steamed rice, side of edamame.
Dinner: None (unless you count a can of orange juice)
Snack: Popcorn. Yay >.>
Water drank: A TON! Probably around 60 oz.

Exercise: None worth noting, though while at work, I lift boxes/push carts/etc. Yay, working in a stockroom.

There, I'm done. Going to bed. Also, I have finals this week, so stressed.... I hope I don't fail.

I'm starting to regret even making a weight loss diary. It's just pitiful. I know I'm supposed to write down everything I eat, and my 'progress', but it's just not going too well. I've had one reply, while so many other diaries around me have up to hundreds. I won't go into that to avoid seeming childish.

I had a bit of a crash today. My blood sugar must've been really low, so I asked to go home early from work. While waiting for my ride, I bought some Chinese food and ate it when I got home. I also thought maybe if I had something with sugar in it, I'd be okay, so I also bought a Twix and ate that. But as soon as I finished eating, I might as well have passed out for how fast I fell asleep.

I guess I was so glad to see results. I was losing inches in my measurements, my clothes were fitting better... I really don't know. I do know that once I'm recovered, I'm going to try again. I can't stop after how far I've come, even if half of it wasn't legitimate.

I'm depressed about it, to say the least. I've never done this before. I've never worked out in my LIFE until Oct '08, over a year ago. Maybe I really don't know anything about weight loss.

Okay, enough. See you.

Hey Moonie congrats for losing the weight you have already lost seems like you've maintained pretty well over the course of this summer, which I'm sure you know is usually the hardest part. I've heard lots of people say that the DDR is pretty intense once ya get into it. I'd try it, but when I try to do any exercise of any kind in my house, everything bounces like we're in an earthquake. Psh. Also, I'm a chronic weigher too, I weigh myself everyday more than once a day... I use it for a sort of motivation I guess, but I only have one OFFICIAL weigh in day, that way I can't get discouraged with what may or may not be poppin up there.
As for only getting 1 reply so far- eh. Unfortunately this place is all about the support networking... the more ya give, the more ya get. I don't get a lotta replies either lately, but I'm determined to use this site to my own advantage, and if someone gets something outta what I'm saying- well thats terrific but take no offense. Its hard to keep up with everyone sometimes, lol.
Keep at it Mooniestar, don't give up you've come to far!

Hi Mooniestar, well done on your progress so far. I enjoy reading your diary. I think you are doing well. Just don't get too obsessed with weight loss to the point where you stop eating for too long. And if you're wondering who has the best advice for this journey you're on, one ancient said it best: "Moderation in all things."

That's the best way to go. Best of luck!

To Jess393 and Shinsplint: Thanks for the replies, it means so much to me. I'm a part of a lot of forums, and yet I forgot one cardinal rule: If you want replies, reply to others first.

I feel much better since earlier, and I'm at 126 dead on right now. I weigh myself 2-3 times during the course of the day, one in the morning, one before bed, and one after a good workout. I just like to know how my body is responding to certain things. I don't get especially mad if my weight goes up, and that's probably a good thing considering that I'm getting my monthly soon.

I'm not sure what my next course of action is going to be. I want to research some healthy foods to eat, especially something that I can maybe take to work to eat on my break. It has to be something pre-prepared or similar, because I only get 15 minutes, and believe me it goes by FAST.

I've been monitoring my heart rate also. My resting rate is between 55 and 60, and when I do my cardio (using DDR anyway) it can get anywhere from 150 to 175. I've never broken my record of 187, don't plan to. That was after playing 3 songs on Heavy mode, and I couldn't move afterwards! I'm pretty sure those numbers mean I have a healthy cardiovascular system.

So... I'll quit here for now. I'm getting the munchies. Again, thanks so much for the support, you three! *hug* My spirit feels lifted, even though my body is tired.

Hey you,

You seem to be doing better.

The reason you probably lost blood sugar, is because you aren't eating as you should. I do the same thing. Like yesterday I had breakfast and skipped lunch and didnt feel anything until I was suddenly ready to pass out around six pm. My sugar was way too low. I didnt eat enough.

so I ate a half a sandwhich with two slices of turkey and one slice of swiss with low fat mayo and before you know it, I felt better.

I also know why you felt sleepy afterward, because you finally ate a real meal. Your body was probably very happy at that point.

I get the same reaction. I just wish I ate right. I too am having a problem trying to figure out just how weight loss works.

I personally am going to go to a food therapist, which also happens to be a diatician. I hope it works out, no, I know it will work out. Full steam ahead!!


You can do this girl!! Keep going, keep it rocking! Everyone who has replied in your diary believes in you, including me.

keep trecking

always
natalie jo

Okay guys, It's a new day and I'm ready to take it on. I had class last night, so I got home around 10:30 PM, checked my emails/messages and helped my sister with a Christmas project, all in all went to bed around midnight. And then I slept til noon! Agh, I'm not supposed to do that. But... if my body needs sleep, and I can afford to give it some, I guess it's okay. Especially with the way things have been, I'll say it's okay. So I slept for 12 hours ;P

I also weighed myself, like always, first thing when I wake up. Now, the night before I stuffed myself with my mom's chicken and rice casserole, which she put some kind of herb in it and it was DELICIOUS! I felt so warm and full afterwards, that I thought to myself "I can kiss that 124.6 goodbye for a while" which I shrugged and told myself I'm okay with. Maybe I'm not meant to be at that weight right now. I have been putting my body through the ringer lately it seems.

Scale this morning, not 20 minutes ago: 124.0

I'm shocked. I mean, I stuffed my face last night! I even had some Smarties, thinking "Yeeeesss... sugar shall sabotage you!" or something evil, idk. I haven't done any exercise... so what's the deal?!?

Maybe... is it because for the past 2 weeks, I've been like this? I've been trying to get my body to drop fat by cutting calories and doing cardio like a fiend, and I got it to respond! So now when I'm not doing that as much, it still does it? I'm probably reading too much into this. Either way, as long as my hair and nails don't start rotting away, I'm not going to be in a constant state of worry.

So I'm off to start the day, even if it's mid-day already ;P See you!