It is 3 months after getting over my depression and my overeating spell. And I am now 35lbs lighter from my heaviest point in my life. And dew to an over used scale I am not sure if that count is accurate. BUT I am still feeling positive. I have finished the third week of my P90X workout and I am looking forward to the recovery phase, because my body is KILLING ME. Although I can not see an change in my external appearance, I feel absolutely great on the inside.. And my muscles are telling me that I an changing from the inside out. This next week I hope to, in addition to my P90X videos, get out and run in this beautiful weather that we are having.

So I found this in another diary and decided to gibe it a try.


Answer these questions before starting your diary.

-- How much weight do you want to lose?
My ultimate goal is to be a SOLID 230lbs so that would mean that i have to lose 85 lbs

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
March 11th, 2010 (the revealing of my new beach body will be onmy 25th birthday)

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
Smarter Food Choices, Better Portion Control and Exercising

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
I have an abundance of friends and family who have rededicated their lives to getting healthy. So hopefully when I lose my fire they can help to keep me burning.

-- How realistic is your goal?
I feel that it should be no problem to LOSE 85 lbs in a years time. (If i stay faithful and motivated.)

-- When will you start?
I actually started making a positive change on my 24th birthday, March 11, 2009.

OTHER QUESTIONS:
1. What is your current height and weight?
I stand at 6'3", and I currently weigh 315lbs... (A Teddy Bear..)

2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
230lbs

3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
I can see myself at 275 in 4 months.

4. Why do you want to lose weight?
I'm tired of be husky, I'm tired of never being able to buy the clothes that I like to where, I'm tired of settling for the old men clothes just because they fit me better, I'm tired of constantly tugging on my clothes to make sure my rolls aren't showing, I'm tired of sweating for no reason, I'm tired of being the biggest and yet the smallest person in the room, I'm tired of having man breast, I'm tired of not being able to enjoy my summers, I'm tired of being an obstacle people have to walk around, and I'm tired of being unhealthy and I'm tired of under estimating my self worth because of how I see myself in a mirror.

5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
No

6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
My current depression in not being able to find a job to so that I can pay for a better life style. I currently live with my parents who I LOVE SO MUCH, but they have the most unhealthiest diet and lifestyle. And Since i have no income... I can't buy the food I need to be healthy.

7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
I've always had a weight problem. I'm just now dealing with it.

8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
To cut out watching so much tv. And use that extra time to workout more or do more healthier activities.

9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Yes, and i believe the reason why I lost so much weight was because i was walking EVERYWHERE I had to go, no matter how far it was. Walking really does make a difference.. But then again my feet started to stink.. LOL

10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
Because I finally got a car, and that meant no more walking, and easy access to nice restaurants..

11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
DIETS, I hate diets because they seem so unrealistic. I would just rather learn how to make better choices when I want to pig out or have better personal control when i want something that is tasty but not so good for me.

12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
NO, JUST TO MUCH WORK.... WAY O MUCH WORK.. I don't like treating food like a homework assignment.

13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Not lately, Back in school when I had my own apartment i cooked all the time. I loved to experiment and find new tasty combinations. But now I just eat what my mother makes for me and my father.

14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
Not very often, but when I do, I try to look for something light but tasty.

15. What are your three favorite foods?
STEAK
Lasagna
Stuffed Peppers

16. What are your three favorite restaurants?
Cheese Cake Factory (great portions for your money)
Peach Tree in KC, MO (not the healthiest)
My house.

17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
Portion Control
Eat less fat
Eat more greens/vegetables


18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
MY WARDROBE, and self confidence...

19. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
YES, I am an emotional eater. That's why my environment is a dangerous one. TO MANY DAMN SNACKS IN THIS HOUSE!

20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Not anymore... but i have in the past.. I hope i never do it again in the future.

21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
No

22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
ABSOLUTELY!!

23. Do you eat as a reward?
NOT SURE...

24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
Yup....

25. What do you normally eat for a meal?
Meat of some sort...

26. What type of snacks do you eat?
Yogurt, cookies, PB&J, crackers, cheese sandwich, snack cakes.

27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
I'm doing the P90X Workout tapes. Seeing that i don't have a gym membership they are the next best thing. I also walk a lot in the downtown area, I ride my bike and go for a morning jog every now and again.

28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Downstairs in the dark and airy basement.

29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
I love riding my bike (besides that damn seat), my P90X DVDs, and I like to swim but I don't have a gym membership.

30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
Knowing that I will have a healthier life.

31. Do you have rewards for certain goals?
No

Yesterday started out just any normal day.. I woke up, ate, stretched and through in my P90X videos..... but to my horror!!!!! IT WOULDN'T PLAY... OMGoodness. I was devistated.. My old and trusty DVD player crashed on me, and I didn't have money to replace it. I had felt like the universe was trying to keep me fat, yet again... I was doing so well staying faithful to my daily workout and I didn't want to fall off of the band wagon, AGAIN.. SO as I moped around thinking that MAYBE God just wants me to be fat... Then for some reason I went and stepped on my scale (which I fixed by the way!!!!) and it said that I lost another 5lbs since my last weigh in last week. I WAS EXSTATIC, and a little voice shouted in my head, 'YES I CAN' (which is a line from Eddie Murphy's 'The Nutty Professor', I love that movie.) and it kept getting louder, 'YES, I CAN'.. YES, I CAN'..... AND SO I DID! I noticed that I had actually memorized all the previous exercises that I have been doing for the past 3 weeks... AND I KNOCKED THEM OUT. SO for those of you who feel like you need a workout video, a trainer or access to a gym to make a change in your life... THAT IS A LIE. All you need is your self determination to make that difference. All of those other things are just guidlines to help you along the way.. Stay focused and Stay strong, beacause the journey of 1000 miles starts with just....... 1 STEP.

It is the end of yet another long week. I've finally finished my Phase 1 of P90X, but I'm not satisfied. So i'm going to do it again, because I finally got a new DVD player. I've lost yet another 5 lbs which puts me at 305 lbs. I am still in such disbelief. I am well on my way to a smaller better looking me!

Hey sounds like your doing amazing! And your so right, you don't need a gym or personal trainer etc you just need yourself and some motivation, and you certainly have it

Welcome to the forum bigbear!

After reading what you typed out on your initial post, you said some things that really hit home with me. I too am going to become more healthy, just because I am TIRED of accepting the lifestyle of an overweight person. Small things, like tugging on a shirt, or not being able to wear all cloths really do a number on my self confidence. Thats why I decided to take a stand and start working to fix this problem.

Great job starting on here by creating a journal. I am sure you will find that there are plenty of people here in the same boat, and we all want each other to succeed.

I'll be lurking around, checking up on your progress!

Quote:

4. Why do you want to lose weight?
I'm tired of be husky, I'm tired of never being able to buy the clothes that I like to where, I'm tired of settling for the old men clothes just because they fit me better, I'm tired of constantly tugging on my clothes to make sure my rolls aren't showing, I'm tired of sweating for no reason, I'm tired of being the biggest and yet the smallest person in the room, I'm tired of having man breast, I'm tired of not being able to enjoy my summers, I'm tired of being an obstacle people have to walk around, and I'm tired of being unhealthy and I'm tired of under estimating my self worth because of how I see myself in a mirror.

Brutally honest, and every single one of them applies to me too. You're doing great, and exercise vids are cool

Hi, bigbear, and welcome to the forum.

I hope you find keeping a journal here to be as helpful as I have. The combination of logging your life for all to see, and the feedback you get, can be incredibly helpful for keeping on track and seeing how you are progressing.

I really do recommend you at least try to keep a food and activity log. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it can be so, so useful. I started one when I joined the forum, and have been conscientiously writing down everything I eat for almost 3 months now. Aside from giving me a record I can go and look back on, and helping me control my eating habits, it keeps me honest.
Your diet is the single most critical aspect of weight loss, and it is really difficult to know just how much you are eating if you don't write it down and look at it. You may be surprised. Most people greatly underestimate the amount of calories they take in, and also underestimate portion sizes.

Take care, and watch out for those picnic baskets!

Monday after the weekend relapses... LOL. Yeah for the 4th of July, the idea of portion control just did not exist to me. I had 3 polish sausages, a hamburger, 1/2 chicken, 3 bowls of baked beans, spaghetti, 7 deviled eggs and a cake. LOL But I'm not down on myself, that's life. I'm just surprised I didn't make myself sick from eating so much. But on the brighter side, I took a nice long bike ride to Navy Pier (Which is 30 miles). It was a great ride. I've found a few nice looking and quiet neighborhoods I wouldn't mind living in once I get back on my feet. And being able to ride up and down the lake front WAS AMAZING! And seeing all those nice healthy bodies didn't hurt either... . SO now I've encourage my dad to start riding again, and my friend to start walking. I LOVE THIS NEW HEALTHY LIFE WALK!

I've been working out for bout 4 months now and I think I've lost total of 40 lbs. But for some reason today I just seem pretty BLAH! I I think mostly because in my weight loss pictures I see no change. Yes, I feel healthier, I can do more actives.. and I can better fit some of my cloths. But I guess i expected more. I expected that with all the push ups that I've been doing my man breast would be gone. And I expected that with all the CRAZY EXTREME sit ups and ab workouts I've been doing, I'd at least be able to see a one pack. Or maybe with all the pull ups I've been doing my back wouldn't look so BLAH! But maybe I need to change the reasons way I am doing this and my expectations. What do you guys thing?

Well this week started off pretty good. Actually it was excellent. I had an extremely good workout on Mon and Wed I worked out my arms, chest and back. Tuesday I rode my bike to the park so I could go for a run. I honestly think I can do better with my running but once I'm in the midst of it I love all motivation and just want to stop. But I LOVE riding my bike. Which I think is a great low impact activity to take advantage of during the warmer weather. Thursday I convinced a friend of mine to go for a walk with me. And we ended p going to the neighborhood YMCA, where she purchased a membership. I was SUPER excited for her. But today was not an active day. i just prepared myself for an interview and attempted to help clean up my parents house. But... Unfortunatly I've noticed how i have fallin back into my older eating habits. I'm glad I've noticed it now. So that I can check myself and stay on the right path. But that all I'm writing for today.. Time for me to get some sleep.

I am disappointed and in danger of going back into my emotional eating. I've been putting my all into getting this one job that I thought would be perfect for me. And I just found out today that besides them liking me and thinking that I would be great for the job. I don't have enough EXPERIENCE! ARE YOU SERIOUS. This hurts me so much. Because all I want to do is get a job so i can help provide for my parents and start enjoying my life. All I want to do now is eat every single sweet thing I can find in the house. But I know thats not the right way to live.TODAY IS JUST A VERY BAD DAY...

IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS ANY JOB OPENINGS THAT PERTAINS TO ANY FORM OF TECHNOLOGY IN ANY CITY. CHECK OUT MY RESUME. IF YOU NEED A BETTER COPY JUST EMAIL ME.


DONALD D. OWENS Jr.
don.owens85@gmail.com

O B J E C T I V E
A highly organized and self motivated individual seeking a career opportunity in the field of Digital Hardware Design, Software Development or related opportunity in a challenging and rewarding technical environment.
H I G H L I G H T S
Leadership
• Held four official positions in a campus organization where I successfully managed and motivated a team of talented individuals, with all different skill sets and backgrounds, to make a substantial impact on the SIU campus and surrounding community
• Organized a campus wide Academic Seminar with the help of various faculty and staff members at SIUC
Innovative
• Developed a FTP protocol for Red Hat Linux System as a final team project at SIUC
• Designed and tested a 8-bit computer using Xilinx and Modelsim
Technical – Computer Skills and training in the following categories:
• Microsoft Office, Xilinx ISE6 & Modelsim, Verilog, VHDL, VLSI, C/C++, AIX, HP-UX, Assembly Language, Sun Unix/Linux, PSpice, Matlab, Analog/Digital Circuit Design
E D U C A T I O N
Southern Illinois University, Carbondale, IL August 2003 – December 2008
Bachelor of Science, Computer Engineering
Graduation Date: December 13th 2008
P R O F E S S I O N A L E X P E R I E N C E
EMAC Inc., Carbondale, IL July 2008 – December 2008
Offers a competitive line of products and services for the embedded systems market.
Integration Technician
• Successfully communicated with clients to help resolve any issues concerning company products
• Organized and constructed a routine that allow assembly of a multitude of computer systems in a timely manner
Kerasotes Showplace 8, Carbondale, IL December 2006 – November 2008
A leading company in Cinema Photography Theater
Customer Service Associate
• Responsible for the marketing and retail distribution of numerous products to a diverse group of patrons
• Utilized effective communications in building genuine relationships with our patrons and reassuring their safety
Cerner Corp., Kansas City, MO July 2005 – August 2007
A global leader in healthcare information technology
System Engineer (Summer Intern)
• Organized and managed multiple databases that contained sensitive corporate and client information
• Assisted in a complete systems upgrade at a major urban hospital
• Aided residential nurses and physicians in becoming familiar with the various healthcare software solutions
• Organized ‘Cold Calling’ projects to help facilitate a Healthcare Convention
• Developed a prototype data search engine that would allow team members to more effectively market healthcare software solutions to potential clients

A C T I V I T I E S
• National Society of Black Engineers Organization, President May 2008 – May 2009
• National Society of Black Engineers Organization, member October 2004 – Present
• Minority Engineering Program Mentor August 2006 – December 2008
• INROADS Member/Intern/Recruiter August 2004 – December 2008