Tomorrow will be my fist official day. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a personal trainer at the gym to help me figure out just what I should be done there. They will also weight and measure me (and probably find me wanting ^_~).

So today I took before pictures. After looking at them I'm afraid I weight more then I thought. It's been a while since I've weighted myself, but now I'm thinking I'm closer to 300 lbs.

Ideally I would like to be 160 (maybe it should be lower, but right now that would be like a dream) however that would probably take years, so for the short term I would like to drop two dress sizes.

I think I'll hold off on the rest until I talk to the trainer tomorrow.

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Good for you for starting a diary. It really helps to keep me on track when I have a place to go to talk about what I'm doing.

I hope your meeting with the trainer goes well tomorrow.

Welcome to the forum and well done stating a diary

I KNOW you can! Good luck tomorrow.

thanks guys

well I'm depressed now. I went to gym and got my numbers. Yeah I was waay off, but atleast I know where I'm starting I guess...

Starting weight: 312 lbs
height: 5"4'
Blood pressure: 131/69
waist: 60"
hips: 65"
thighs R/L: 29.5"/30"
Arms R/L: 20"/20"

Of course today my mother decided she wanted to treat me, and I just couldn't say no. So I had a chicken sandwitch and a big icecream before class. I need to figure out something to eat between classes. I leave for my first class at 2ish and I'm gone until 10 at night and I have no way of keeping anything cool....there has to be something I can use without going out to eat each time...

Now you have accurate numbers with some effort and dedication you can start making improvements. You don't have to cut ice cream etc. out of your diet, just make sure to only have it in moderation as a treat and special occasions.

Why not? Why couldn't you ask your mom for a healthy treat? Why did you have to eat icecream as well as a sandwich?

I don't ask those questions to be mean or rude, but to point something out: You are living your life. Life is full of those "I couldn't say no" moments. But those people who lose weight and keep it off LEARN TO SAY NO.

It's hard sometimes. Yeah, I want to go out to the pub with my girlfriend and split a plate (or two) of blue cheese chips. I want a burger dripping with cheese and bacon. I want the double chocolate fudge chunk ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. And when my guy offers to take me out for a "treat" ... I want to say yes. But I don't. I say "Aw baby you're sweet to offer, but I can't this week."

If I do *have* to go out (for an office get together or something like that where i have no choice) I make HEALTHY choices. I have the chicken sandwich - with only one piece of bread/bun. I skip the ice cream. I ask for more tomatoes and lettuce. That kind of thing.

Like the person above said, you don't have to give up ice cream all the time. But you do have to lose the mindset that you can't say "no" when you need to.

Why am I so vehement about this? Because really what you're doing when you say "I can't say no" is push the responsibility off on someone else. If they "made" you ... then obviously you're not failing at your diet. Someone forced you ... because you couldn't say no. So you don't have to take responsibility for the choices you made. It becomes "not my fault".

Losing weight is as much mental as anything else and taking responsibility for your own actions and thoughts is vital. You chose to have a chicken sandwich and ice cream. You chose to say "yes". And you can equally choose to say "no". You can always say no. Even to your mom. And you're going to have to, in order to be successful.

Again, I am not saying this to be harsh. I ate myself up to 250 lbs with the "I can't say no" mindset. It's Christmas - I can't say no. My family is in town - I can't say no. It's the office party - I can't say no. My husband really wanted to do something special for me - I can't say no. And I did that until I weighed 100 lbs more than I should.

It requires rethinking lots of things and I'll be honest - for me the mental part was SO much harder than the physical. Always has been and always will be. But it's SO worth it.

You can do it.

KaraCooks, your right, I shouldn't make excuses. I've always had issues saying no, its one of the things I need to work on, that and talking myself into thinking I like veggies.

Anyways, to try and start the day out right...

I woke up at about 12:30 (didn't fall asleep until around 5:30 this morning, I love night classes, so wonderful for a nightowl like me)

I had a bowl of cereal - honey oat something :-p

Goal for today, get atleast half way done with english paper for monday, draw atleast two stretches for art class and walk the dog, marking how far I get so I can try and do better next time.

Oh I'm with you ... I'm such a night owl. When I was working full time for myself, I'd often work until 3 in the morning or so and then sleep until 10 or 11. That's an ideal schedule for me!

I am so pleased that you are joining my challenge. I have come down from a similar weight. I was a few pounds lighter at my heaviest - but not many and I am shorter than you (5ft3).

You have to really believe that it is all possible. I can say this because for a long time I didnt really believe it - and that worked against me.

I did (and still do) a lot of walking as my main form of exercise. People said to me that you had to walk briskly for it to be of benefit - but that proved not to be the case. At my biggest I couldnt do anything briskly. I did find that I was able to walk further and I did find that I was able to walk faster. The main thing was that I went out for a walk every day. Now I am pretty fast!

Food control is important too - but exercise was vital. I dont get time to get around to visiting diaries much at all these days - not even my own - but if you have any issues about a long term project there are lots of us here that know what it is like. Feel free to get in touch in the chat thread and ask questions or voice concerns.

Thanks Omega! I'm hoping it will help keep me on trace, though honestly I dont think I've ever had a full five in one day, but nows as good a time as ever.

had a piece of pizza, three twizzlers, and a cup of green beans

Goals: wrote 4 pages on the English paper but found out that the book I was getting half my info from was questionable, so I'm back down to 3 pages. So english goal only half way met. Drew one drawing, so drawing also half way met. Walked the dog, so that atleast was finished fully.

Well today wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worse either.

for breakfast I had a bowl of cereal, then I had two snacks, one of carrots, and one apple, for dinner I had a hotdog and a cup of green beans. So I didn't quiet hit the 5 veggies and fruit a day goal, but I did alot better then I usually do. I also nibbled on peanuts from time to time.

As far as goals go I got 3 drawings done, just 5 more to go. Walked the dog, only lasted about 15 mins, but atleast I got out there, and I worked on the paper for English.

Sometimes not being able to sleep is a good thing.

I went for another walk and the cutest thing happened, my cat followed me the whole way.

I also was able to eat two more helpings of veggies, carrots and snowpeas. I have to say, snowpeas are not my favorite, it felt like eating a leaf.....but the carrots were good. I'm just glad I was able to hit the 5 serving goal.

Eh .. I"m not a big fan of snowpeas just plain. I like them sauteed in a stir fry, though. Have you ever eaten edamame? It's one of my favorite snacks. You can usually get them in the frozen food section of the grocery store ... just microwave them for a couple of mins and sprinkle on some sea salt. Really yummy and good for you.

Thanks KaraCooks! I'm headed to the store in the next couple of days, is there anything else you suggest? A few things of note: I live in southern Utah, in the summer its almost always high 90s or low 100s, so I'm trying to stay away from the stove or anything else that would heat up the house. The other thing is one of the reasons I'm trying so hard with this is I'm trying to get my mom to join me. She's diabetic and very stubborn on changing her eating or working out, so any snacks that are good for that are a plus.

Sorry if this is to much to ask, if so just say so, it's just nice to have suggestions like this.