Ok, I think this is the second diary I am about to have.

The 1st one, dont remember it. And honestly, I needed a new one to feel I am starting something...

So.. I am 8 kilos above my pre-pregnancy weight, and BTW my baby is almost 10 months old I gained 20 kg while pregnant.

I also have another extra 6kg to lose to get where I was at when married!! I honestly feel like puking because I cannot believe how many kilos I have to lose, and how I let myself get to this point.

First off, my motivation is on the ground. I feel so ugly, and unattractive. Many people tell me that I look amazing, but I dont think so. I know I am tall.. 170cm, but 78kg is considered 'overweight' for me Also.. my libido... disappeared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because all I think is that I am fat.. and it makes me lose it

Long time ago, I went to see this nutritionist. She worked on a plan for me to follow consisting of blocking sugar, milk, fruits, and carbs to get my insulin level down, and after 2 weeks I can introduce fruits. I am planing not to introduce if things are going well up to 4 weeks (dont call me crazy plz)

Anyway, I went grocery shopping and let's see what I got for my diet:

Meat - √
Chicken - √
Fish - √
Tuna - √
Toast - √
Light cheese - √
Diet Soda - √
Mustard - √
Light Mayo - √
Decaff Coffee - √
Splenda - √
Sugar free candy - √
Sugar free ice cream- √
Sugar free chocolate powder - √ (can have 1 cup per day)
Veggies - zucchini, eggplant, tomatoe, lettuce, cucumber, onion, green pepper, Lemon, mushroom, broccoli - √

2 L of water min per day

My goal:
http://img.skinnyvscurvy.com/2009/09...ren-conrad.jpg

My current? have to take a pic

Will update starting from tomorrow. It's now almost 12am, so gotta sleep very soon.

Ah.. and I plan on posting pics and weight update every 2 weeks..

Until then......!

Good luck

^^ Thank you, Trusylver !

Anyway, today is my 1st day, and it was great!

Breakfast:
Decaff coffee with 4 tspoons of fat free coffeee mate.. and Splenda
1 toast with 2 cubes of light spreadable cheese (Sylphide)

Lunch:
2 big pieces of Kofta meat (minced meat mixed with minced parsley and minced onion with condiments) Grilled
Big bowl of salad made from lettuce, green pepper, and cucumber

Snacked on 1 scoop of sugar free ice cream and couldnt resist to the sugar free candies to took 3

Dinner:
Green tea with Splenda
Toast with cheese and cucumber

Water: around 7 cups

Exercise: None. I was a bit sick, so couldnt go.

Tomorrow I am hopefully hitting the gym in the morning.!

Ciao!!

Day 2-

Breakfast:
. Toast with light labneh and a decaff coffee with light coffee mate and Splenda.

Lunch:
. A few chicken cubes with mushroom, zucchini, and broccoli. Used spray zero cal, and grilled them with condiments.
. 1 diet coke

Snack:
. Decaff coffee

Dinner: I was craving chicken, again. WHY!? Dont know.. it was DELICIOUS.
. Half baby chicken, grilled, from one of my fav restaurants. Nothing more!
. 1 scoop of sugar free ice cream.

Water:
. Around 6 cups - should drink more though!

Exercise:
. 55min of cardio!! walked in fast motion!!

See you tomorrow motivation, please be stronger than today!

It came to my mind to start taking pics of my meals. Maybe it will add up more motivation!

good effort getting your exercise in there on day 2

Gram grammmmmmmmm.!

Still on the diet.

Breakfast:
. 1 toast with light cheese (yeah, again!!!!!!!!!!!) + green tea with Splenda

Lunch:
. Green salad minus tomato, which I hate + 1.5 cans of tuna in Water

Snack:
. 1 cup of ice blended sugar free chocolate drink

Dinner:
. 2 slices of Surimi
. 1 toast with labneh

Exercise: no.. at this moment I am trying to exercise 3-4 times a week.. so tomorrow I will be hitting the gym!

Water: Not much today. Around 5 cups? maybe less

I know it is a bit poor in things, like fruits, and more carbs, but honestly its like a boost to me in stopping hunger. I wont lie, I feel energetic. Damn it, why did I wait this long to start getting healthy? my cholesterol is HIGH and I feel horrible, plus my old clothes still dont fit me, and I feel I am a huge whale hitting my self-steem. I also haven't been the perfect-wife, which body image contributes to.. so, I have to continue this journey and get healthy, back again.

My main goal now is to get to weight below 64kg for my son's 1st b-day which is at the beginning of December!! Imagine today, a friend of mine came over to do this recipe and put in the freezer as I am doing this dinner invitation in 2 weeks.. so she said that we should bake few and taste to see if we are doing it good. I did bake them. But didnt eat a tiny piece. NADA! she said they were good, so that's enough hahaha!! and I honestly didnt have the desire to taste neither to eat it. Good improvement? heck yeah. I would have never turned it down even if I didnt feel like if I wouldnt have now the feeling I have. COMMITMENT! HECK YEAH! and I pray it stays in me.. for a LONG TIME!!

That's it for now...

Ciaoooooooooooooooo! Hasta manana!

I wanted to add in pics of how I looked before (for inspiration) against how I look now (for motivation)

Me before
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...s/P7290227.jpg

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...Image013_1.jpg

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/5...titledtfm3.jpg

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...Image018_1.jpg

ALso wanted to add how I looked 1 week before giving birth (by c-section)
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...DSC01756-1.jpg

Me now
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...s/DSC05935.jpg

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...s/DSC06408.jpg

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j1...DSC06425-1.jpg

I have to take a pic while standing.. a recent one..

I dont know why the pics dont show up :s

Day 4

Breakfast:
. Slice of toast with light cheese + my usual coffee. I dont like tea, so I prefer coffee instead.

Lunch:
. 3 grilled kofta with slices of mushroom, zucchini and eggplant. and diet coke

Snack:
. 3 slices of sugar free chocolate

Dinner:
. 3 surimi and green tea.

Water:
Around 6 cups

Exercise, nothing today as well I was so busy making some preparations for a dinner coming up in a week!

I think my diet is poor, but so far so good. I will weight in most probably in a week.

I wanna sleep now, its more than 2am. *gawn*

Nighty!

Hi, Suzan!

I like all your pictures; you are a very elegant lady!

Congratulations with your baby!

In comparing with you I am just an elephant before pregnancy I was about 90 kg, I picked up about 25 kg, and still have 18 of them.

I also try to drink about 8-10 glasses of water in a day, glad that I have a company!

Conratulations Suzan for starting again - my wife was in the same positon as you a while back and she went through alot of the stuff you have mentioned. Once she was able to finally get her baby weight off she was back to her normal happy self - even though all the people around her thought she looked great any way - she just wasn't happy within herself.

Just wanted to say well done and keep up the good work - your results will happen! :-)

OOOOOOOOH!!!!!
I got 2 comments!!!!!!

Fashion Rose,
Thank you about the elegant part *blush*..! I am glad I am giving you company, I will run off now and search for your diary, if you have one I will stalk it! LOL! Good luck!!!

JT01,
Thanks for the encouragement, it means a LOT to me. And telling your wife's story is a push up also!! I know it can happen coz I know ladies that are even thinner than they were before pregnancy!! Thanks a lot

So.......

Day 5 (WOW, 2 more to go and it will be 1 week. OMG!! This is the max I have reached doing a diet.. AND WILL NOT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyway,

breakfast:
. 1 toast with light cheese and usual coffee.

lunch:
. I was invited to this organic restaurant, so I picked the shrimp salad. DELICIOUS! It had tomato, cucumber, lettuce, shrimp, a small piece of avocado, and around 1 tablespoon of dressing.. I want to repeat it! The bad thing was that the shrimp were little So I felt hungry after!!

Snack:
. 2 Crab sumari
. 1 scoop of sugar free ice cream

Dinner:
. Since I was hungry, I grilled zucchini, eggplant, and broccoli, and then topped it with grilled red meat fillet with mushroom. AAAAH!! Loveeeeeee it!! Probably wasnt a good idea to eat that much at night? but it is better than eating something fatty.

Water:
. Around 4 cups? maybe 5? I have to do what I used to: hold a bottle of water to keep on drinking!

Exercise:
None I didnt have time. Now that my husband is back from his trip, I can have more time and he will look after our baby while I am away!

keep up the good work. Its good to have goals, I like to section them into smaller ones so that they larger one doesn't seem so big.

You're doing great, I know you'll be at your goal in no time!