So to start off I have made and deleted 2 other diaries. I just didn't like the way they were going. I looked back over what I had written and realized that I was complaining so much about what was wrong in my life that I was depressing myself. So that part of me is done. I'm sure I will still find plenty of things to complain about but for the most part me new entries will be a lot more pleasant to read through. For those of you that don't know or don't remember me, my name is Candy. I have 3 kids and live in Oklahoma. I went through a very rough patch in my marriage but with the help of a very nice counselor we have managed to get our marriage back in the right direction. It's not perfect yet but its getting much better. I moved back to the town I grew up in and am working a job that I love. I am a youth counselor and a girls juvenial home and I feel like I can actually help these girls. I had a very hard ife growing up. You name it then it has happened to me. I have lived through it all and I am glad to say that I believe I am in a much better place in life than I was a year ago. I started gaining weight about 5 years ago after the birth of my oldest son. I struggled then with losing weight because I didn't have any motivation to do anything about it. About a year ago I hit my highest weight ever of 235lbs. I am only 5'2" so as you can imagine it wasn't a pretty sight. Over the last year I have lost and gained the same 30lbs getting as low as 202 as recently as July 09. I am now starting over again at 220lbs. My plan for sticking to it this time is simply to go one day at a time. I tried before to plan out to much in advance and just got overwhelmed. I feel this is the best place emotionally I can be in to start this again. So heres to me finally being able to accept the things I cannot change and changing the things I can. One day at a time. One pound at a time. My first goal is to be as close to 200lbs as I can be for my 26th birthday on January 20th. So here I am ready to start again for the last time because this time I will beat this.

So I have been doing pretty well with staying around 1600 cals a day. Been using fit day to track my cals and stuff. I am not weighing for about 2 weeks cause this week I'm expecting my monthly visitor soon so I don't want to see a gain on the scale so I'm just avoiding it. I have so far gone from a size 20-22 to a 16-17. I feel pretty good about it. I actually went yesterday and bought my halloween costume yep I am so dressing up this year. I'm gonna decorate my house and make a sort of mini haunted house thing out of our car port. We're gonna dress up and decorate with a strobe light and put out a big bowl of candy and sit real still and quiet and jump out at kids that come up. I am dressing up as a vampire and my husband is a grim reaper type thing. Hopefully it will be a good night i really have fake fangs and all that actually stick to my real canine teeth and look pretty cool. I'll post pics after of course because I can lol. Well thats about it not much else going on around here.

Hi Candy,
Just wanted to stop in and say good luck! It sounds like you are very motivated and determined this time and are off to a good start. I am short, 5'2", just like you, so I know how every pound counts on us short gals! I feel your goals are very attainable.
I also wanted to say that I admire you for the work you do with young girls. It must be very fulfilling...you are to be admired.

Good luck!
Di

Hey Di thanks for stopping by. Ya I always knew I wanted to do some sort of work with youth where I could relate to them that even though your life is hard now that they can get through it and make a better life. Its hard sometimes looking at those girls and seeing me in them. It makes me feel really good when they hear my story and realize that the're not alone and someone else has gone through some of the same things they have and made it through.
So on the weight aspect of things, I hate being a girl and my monthly visitor came yesterday as I was expecting. I feel like run over poo. I stayed in bed all day yesterday and literally slept til like 5pm. I'm feeling a little better now and should be back to normal in a few days. I haven't been very hungry so I haven't even been counting calories or anything yesterday or today. I probably went way over yesterday because even though I felt like poo when I did eat it was all convenience food, so Not the best choices but hey I have a reason lol. Today I have had just a heavy feeling in my stomach so I have just munched on grapes all day. Well thats pretty much all thats been happening. Went to work came home went to bed. Lol I'm so exciting.

So I have been trying diffrent things out to see if I like them. Boca burgers are delicous. I love those things. Morning Star italian sausage is nasty nasty (just my opinion sorry if I offend anyone). Smoked swiss cheese slices are amazing. Chipotle cheddar cheese slices are too spicy (again just my opinion). I have been trying to find things with big flavors so I can use less of the higher cal things and still get a good flavored food. I think I am gonna start writing down the things I create and you never know maybe one day I might even get a cook book published. That would be awesome lol.

HI. You're doing awesome, keep it up. I'm short like you ( 5'1) and being heavy is a serious pain in the ass.
I love boca burgers. I also love morning start sausage. Not exactly like the real thing, but pretty good.
I just wanted to wish you luck and let you know you have support.
~Kia

Also very glad your life sounds like it is on the right track and everything is coming back together relationship and work wise.

You sound happy now. That usually helps with any project like this. I'll see ya around.

Hey all. So I have been off line for about a week because my computer had an unfortunate accident and I broke the screen on it. So I got my new screen today and am back up and running. While I was gone my 3 year old broke his foot. He fell off a ladder at his papas house. He is doing better now but still has a lot of pain if anyone touches his foot. I feel so sorry for him I know he hates that he can't get up and run around now. We have to take him back ti the dr this week for some more x-rays so hopefully it will be good news and we won't have to do anything else for him. I don't know though he has a soft cast that can be removed and I took it off earlier to give him a bath and his foot looks so bad. It is still swolen about twice the size as the other one and he whole side of his foot is bruised. You can see where the break is and I really hope he doesn't need any kind of surgery to fix it. On the weight loss front nothing much happening there. Not gaining or losing but the last week or so I haven't really been doing anything helpfull. Thats about it for now I'm pretty boring just work and home for now ts been raining for like 2 weeks straight. It just cleared up yesterday but I haven't gotten out much. Thats it I'll write more later when I have more to say.

Candy,
Sure hope your son's foot heals quickly. It is probably hard to keep the little guy quiet...they are so active at that age! I know it is hard to focus on yourself and your weight when things like this happen. Hopefully, things will settle down for you in a few days, and you can start working on losing again...Good luck!
Di

Hi Candy! Sorry about the little one's foot. Hope it's better soon.

How is everything else going?