Alright... time to go and make dinner. Not sure what I am going to make but it is for sure going to be healthy! Today was a good day.... no bad snacking. Still getting used to my hubby's new hours but other than that doing alright. A few people I haven't talked to in years hunted me down on myspace so that was nice... Other than that I'm just really excited about being in this weight loss competition!!!

So last night I decided to have my husband take photos of me in my underwear so that I could really see where I was. Let's just say that it's a long way from where I want to be. I was so sad looking at those pictures that I cried. I literally sat there staring at them crying. I'm only 24 and I look like this. I'm so depressed about it that I feel sick. I know now that I really do need to exercise a lot more and the photos can be my motivation. I just don't think I will ever want to look at them again. No matter how hard I try I can't get the picture out of my head!!! I just kept thinking THIS is what my husband married!!! THIS is what he fell in love with!!! Looking at my picture from the back was the worst!! I'm just glad I didn't take pictures of me in my underwear at 320!

Underpant pictures are never flattering, no matter what weight or size you are! I had such a hard time the first time I saw mine. Try not to get too worked up about the pictures, They never do you justice! What you have to rember is that your hubby did marry you the way you are and loves you for who you are. He's obviously sees you for how beautiful you are inside and out!!! You need to start doing the same! Maybe take some pictures of you in something you find flattering, and don't over analyze it. Everyone has something they don't like about themselves and by staring at a picture your gonna find those things and feel awful. Pictures, like inches and pounds should be used to show improvement over time not to bring you down. =) Rember your working towards something, and your not there yet! Delete them and take some of you looking your best, stare at those and make yourself feel better!

Ahhh- yes. The good old crying over pictures- You know, that is what made me start losing weight this time around and what encouraged me to join this forum. I won't say I haven't been frustrated and disgusted with myself since I came here, but I CAN say that I don't cry over the way I look anymore. I've come to terms with the fact that I did this to me and only I can fix it. I too have a guy who loves me the way I am- Fat. lol I think we're lucky. Do you know how many women meet the man of their dreams when they are skinny- and are then paranoid that their man will leave them if they ever gain weight? We already know that our men will love us regardless of our size. I'm sure he's seen you many of times- but do you ever see him crying when he looks at you? No- He thinks you're beautiful. You ARE beautiful.

Thanks jugalette and valapalooza... It was just a shock... I mean I pretty much know what i look like from the front. But, the back. The back is just wrong!!! My husband took the pictures from me... I was gettin a little too crazy last night. He said he's going to keep them and then give them back to me 20 pounds from now. He's been with me through a big part of my transformation and has seen a huge difference over the pounds that I still haven't registered. Thanks again guys...

Oh, valapalooza... you're right that we're lucky to have found our guys when we were at our biggest... it can only get better from there right??

Alright, aside from being depressed when I woke up this morning the day has gone pretty well. I have lost 3.5 lbs since monday which is nice. I walked my dog for about an hour today... it's so gross outside I couldn't stand a minute longer. I went out early and it was already hot and humid... yuck. Anyway, the mosquitos were getting to me so I came in. Doing good with food today. To my surprise there was no depressed eating last night over my horrible photos! YAY me! Still excited about the 2 week challenge... Good luck to my team members... and everyone else! I want us all to come out BIG losers!

3.5 pounds is brilliant, keep it up!

I think you shouldn't view the pictures as something to be depressed about, rather something to motivate you. These are pictures of person that is loved by her husband regardless. Do you have pictures from when you were heavier - I bet if you compare them to these pictures you will feel better! Just remember that you are on the right track to a better more healthy you and put those pictures behind you (or in the bin!!)

P.S good luck for the challenge, I will be watching from the side-lines!

thanks rubber duckie!!! Unfortunately I do not have pictures from when I was heavier. All the pictures I did have are long gone (ripped to shreds). That's why my husband is holding on to these to show me 20 pounds from now! Hopefully I will be more inspired then.

Thanks!! We all need cheerleaders!! The team I am on is very enthusiastic so I'm sure we will all come out BIG LOSERS!!

My husband just recently got a new job and today he found out he is going to have to work the graveyard shift... I'm so bummed. It's going to be so lonely without him here during the day and now I will have to sleep alone. WHY IS TODAY SO HORRIBLE!?

Sorry to hear about your husbands new shift- That sucks! I can't even imagine- whether he's going to bed or not, I make my fiance tuck me in every night- lol Hopefully he'll be able to change his shift soon!

Also, you asked about TurboJam in my diary. If you're lower back isn't feeling great lately- I wouldn't suggest doing it yet. There are a lot of kicks and what not, and I admittedly feel a bit of tension in my lower back when I'm done with the work-out. Working your abs is supposed to help support your back so that you are less susceptable to back injuries. (I think)

aw I'm sorry about your husband :[ that must blow. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think though.. then when you DO spend time together it will be more valuable =]

Hi hf.

You diary is so sad right now. I know how you feel about the pictures. I took some befores and I so want them off my computer, but I am keeping them because I really need to look at them now and then to see why I need to change my life. I too feel lucky that I have a guy who loves me so much no matter what. It gives me strength to keep myself motivated. I like it when he is proud of me. We are truly the luckiest.

Don't be sad. Stay motivated and you will see the results you are looking for. I hope that shift is only temporary for your husband. Take care!

P.S. Thanks for helping me with the pics. I was able to shrink them down, but I kept getting an error from the forum. I am still playing around with it.

Hey Valapalooza, LOSiNGitALLx3 and Pineola... THANK YOU for your encouraging words! They really mean a lot to me. I feel like such a complainer today...

We do hope this shift is only temporary it's just that 6pm to 6am is a LONG time!! He found out after we talked that he might be able to switch it up... one week days next week grave. Let's hope for that!!!

Fortunately he is keeping an upbeat attitude. Three weeks ago he was laid off from his other job and this is the job he ended up getting in it's place so we're just happy he's employed! I guess I can't complain too much!

About the pics- I've come to accept them for what they are... a stepping stone to what I WILL become. One of my very close friends has the same body build as I do. She recently dropped her extra pounds and is now sportin' a sexy size 10 figure. She convinced me to e-mail her my pics and she talked me out of my craze!! She said that looking at my pictures was just like looking at herself 7 months ago! She along with everyone on here who posted made me feel a lot better about them! I didn't binge eat or eat anything bad today! All this and I've still stayed strong... that tells me something!! I think it's the two week challenge! I'm so pumped that NOTHING is going to get in my way!!!

Thanks again!!

Pineola- can't wait until you get your pictures posted!!