Hi Kate! Welcome.
It seems your ticker isn't quite working.
You can do it! You say you can't get started or stay motivated....
First step: You've started a diary and stated
goal to lose 50 lbs in a yr. That's reasonable, a
pound a week.
Next step: Set some specific goals. Crunch the numbers to see what it will take. Breastfeeding? Walking? 10 minutes? 30 minutes a day?
Strength Training? 15 minutes x 2 times per week? Counting
calories? 1200? 1500?
Next step: make tiny changes each week you can live with - cut out sodas, clean out pantry and fridge one shelve at a time and restock healthy.
Try to visit us each day and post your triumphs and problems. You will get support here. I come here sometimes when I feel the urge to snack.