Hi! I got a great chuckle out of the cubby house building story

The difference between light and regular coconut milk reminds me of my attitude towards low fat or whole milk. I recently looked at the practical difference in calories based on low fat milk vs full fat, and switched to full fat milk. It has made no difference, it's not like I'm drinking a full jug of it a day anyway.

that earlier post of your walk and the feeling of it being surreal. its good to know i'm not the only one. there are lots of times i avoided going for a walk because of those feeling of dark. you expect something to lift the mood but it usually gets worse. i think its because we're more in touch with what ever is bothering us at the moment.

oh and i loved the story with the plank. its really amazing how sometimes you get answers for something in your life from an event so simple. and that situation showed you you have taken things too seriously.
things will be alright for you felici life is beautiful

I'm afraid that if I was putting make up on my bark to try and deal with the dryness and excess crevices, I would just get pink bark.


The stuff I was using on my face is a paraffin ointment that a dermatologist told me to use instead of sorbolene last year, when he also told me to stop using soap and start using a dry skin wash (QV1 or similar). This is about the same time I started here. I had a massive problem with an allergy which had affected my skin - though not on my face. I had just finally identified what was causing it shortly before I finally saw the specialist, but the last bits of the rash I had didn't clear up until I followed his advice! So I have kept using this stuff, as it seemed to be fine, though it was a heavy product to use on my face, and liable to melt eye make up. I sort of thought that now I'm older maybe my skin needed something heavier.

The photo in my avatar is from about this April, after I had already started losing weight, and in the original, I can see that already my face and neck are a little less smooth than they were while the fat was plumping them out. I wasn't keen on this, but figured it was to be expected. The avatar isn't big enough or clear enough to show my age as much as it shows in real life. Even now though I think I don't look as old as I am. Today I was talking to someone I've worked with before, but don't know well. I was thinking that maybe my skin isn't so bad because it didn't look too much different to hers and she looked good! She was presuming I am her age, yet she is 10 years younger. This happens fairly often. Despite this, I still feel uncomfortable about going through a sudden accelerated change to get a number of wrinkles more appropriate for my age. (EDIT: or for someone even older!!) I know I still look better with the wrinkles than the fat and I will just put up with whatever I have to have! However I'm bothered that maybe I'm not caring properly for my skin now and that will mean I end up with more than I really did have to have!!! I probably sound hopelessly vain by now. I'm not usually. I am liable to go for long periods without thinking much about my appearance – actually that probably that helped me achieve and keep my previous weight. I think paying more attention to my appearance is an unfortunate side effect of weight loss. Or maybe it's fortunate.

The dryness. I don't know. I have already previously tried my husband's Cetaphil and his Clinique dry skin creams that his sister persuaded him to buy. They both make my face sting a bit and don't fix the thing. Maybe it's because it's winter here and all the heaters are drying my face out? Maybe the "dry skin refreshing cleanser" is too strong? I stopped using it, and started using just water. Since I wrote on Sunday, I have been thinking that maybe my skin feels exceptionally uncomfortable because I am having a mild reaction to a new hair product. So I won't use it again. Also I stopped using the doctor's recommended gunk and switched to cortisone. The changes definitely helped. My face is still dry, however it does feel better most of the time and I am not getting such scary (bark looking) flashes in the mirror as I was!

I cant imagine you ever looking in the mirror and getting a scary reflection back bah I say to that...

Cetaphil made your skin sting? wow and I thought I had sensitive skin... Clinique stuff I can't use anymore - it's supposed to be gentle but I wasn't getting that gentleness...

That girl keeps me on my toes.

It is very helpful to me to read this and know that I am not the only one either. Thank you.

I'm sure you're right. And I'm sure I will forget again.

*Cuts out angsty post about the guilty double back flips through flaming hoops I've just done tonight *

Chill felici!

Well I will probably never become brave enough to put an unsmiling photo of myself on here, or a close up my wrinkles! So perhaps you will keep this illusion.

It didn't sting so badly that I couldn't stand it. I just figured that meant it probably wasn't going to be the magic fix it product I'd hoped for. Actually maybe it was because the skin was already irritated, even though I'd been thinking it was just dry. Probably in another couple of weeks it will have fixed itself and I will have forgotten that I wondered about it all. *wishes*

Wednesday

Breakfast 10:00 2 weetbix, 1/3 C diced peaches , 1C low fat soy milk. 1 slice wholemeal toast with plum and cinnamon jam. Boiled egg . Coffee with 40 ml Hilo milk.

Snack: 10:15 Pear. Coffee with milk.
OMG this took some doing. Today's school didn't just have easily passed up cupcakes for one child's birthday. They had 4 different kinds of sweet treats at morning tea time, and someone actually tried to pass me a plate of it. There's something about having an excessive amount and range of indulgent food available that sparks my evil twin's interest.

Lunch: 12:15 Slice of omelette/frittata thing leftover from what I made my husband last night: 2 egg whites, ~ 20 gm parmesan, ~ 60 gm potato, eggplant, green olives, onion, garlic, celery, capsicum, zucchini, broccoli, carrot. Slice of wholemeal bread. Orange. Coffee with milk.
That omelette thing was pretty good. A nice change.

3:45 Slice wholemeal bread toasted, with jam. Pumpkin and leek soup (145 cal).

5:00 ½ fruit scone.

I'm giving myself credit for only eating a half this scone the way I told myself I would last time I found out the calories. And for throwing the rest in the bin, so that it was far out of temptation's way. However, this is still another blow out afternoon snack day. Which isn't good because of the word there “another”. Which I suppose is why I threw the rest of the scone away. No, actually I remember now I threw it out because I kept it while I was shopping, in case the girl wanted it when I got home, and then the snack food in the shop started tormenting me and I decided that I was going to push back a bit. It seems to me that I was hungry, but also, that there are too many slightly exceptional inclusions in my food lately. It would be ok, if I could exercise properly, and was still losing weight, but that's not the case, and I really do have to keep remembering the patience thing. And drinking the coffee. Both those things really work for me. The hot drink that signifies the end of my meal or snack is very useful, but this afternoon it was crowded out.

I'm not too worried about not losing right now. I know the ankle will get better and I anticipate a major change in routine with the holiday in 4 weeks and some other changes once I return. If I can't finish this thing off then I'll be bothered. Now I'm not really. I would strongly prefer to lose weight now! However, I'm not going to stress about that. What I want now is to know that my attitude is right – that my food control is ok, and I'm taking what exercise I can get, so that I can keep counting on myself to make this change ongoing. Today it was starting to feel a bit too much like a slide could have been starting. But I was thinking that if it takes a fight just to maintain, then I will have to have that fight, because no way am I going back to the way I was.

Dinner 8:15 130 gm lean grilled lamb . 100 gm microwaved potato. 1 slice lightly oiled, grilled eggplant. Grilled tomato, mushrooms, capsicum and baby squash. Microwaved carrots and broccoli. Instant gravy (~ 1/3 C) Tub apricot yoghurt. Cup of coffee with milk.

Exercise: No. It was a bit too stormy to walk this afternoon.
I think today will be my last physio. However I did get a strong warning about keeping my increase slow (really slow – 5 minutes increase a day and an explicit warning not to make it 15!!)

5 minutes means 5 minutes - do listen to them... we don't want you injuring yourself...

I amso craving lamb now...

You have the right frame of mind. Even if you can't focus a lot of your time on weight loss, just eating good and watching that, and walking every now and again, you will maintain, and that's the key. Don't hurt yourself or try to heal to fast, take your time and heal correctly, that way when your all good to go, you'll be able to go at it again full force. I really like your attitude and you eat so well, you should be really proud of that. Eating is usually the hardest part to change. Great job!
Kim

Good for you, Felici. At least you're conscious of all the stuff out there that can trip you up, and take steps to deal with it. That's half the battle right there.

hey you
well i do have several solutions for bark skin as you call it. first of all try staying away from dry skin moisturizers for a few days. give your skin time to regenerate just a bit. for protecting your skin it would be best if you put sun screen lotion on your face, and just a small amount to filter the bad influences from the outside. as for which cream to use sometimes it is best to use creamsyou would normally put on a baby or products for normal skin.
i find best facial products to be vichy, avene (because they're based on thermal waters) and make up removals (yes you read right).
i tried Chanel creams and god knows what, but those who have best make up don't necessarily have best skin products.
and remember not using too much creams and lotions...it only makes matters worse in the long run. oh and i wash my face with one soap lush makes, it actually has active carbon as ingredient so it cleans the skin wonderfully and its not invasive because its completely natural.

Keep that evil twin under control Felici . If the attitude is right, the weight loss will follow.

It's ok to crave lamb. I hope you got a fix - or have one coming soon.

I have great intentions to be obedient, though when I feel good it's hard to remember - I was in such a rush this morning I jogged into a shopping centre before I thought about it. I'm still ok though, I think.

Thanks Kim. I feel like I'm starting to get there with tightening up the food again. I don't plan for it be super tight forever, but for now I think that's a good option for me. I don't want to go into the extra calories of my holiday feeling that I've already been a bit sloppy.

It is for me!! Thanks, Tom.

Thanks for all these ideas, Lena. I'm trying the route of not putting much on there for now and my cleanser has run out, so I will keep your recommendations in mind when I look for another option.

Mind you today I was outside all day and may have copped a bit too much sun. Luckily my suncream was still in my handbag from when I put it there at the end of last summer. I am just not that good at remembering all the little things that might matter every day. All the little strategies that help care for me without me having to keep thinking about them eventually help. I have been sunburnt at these carnivals most years since the ones I went to when I was at school! They sneak up and pop us back outside while I'm still thinking about winter and the sun is starting to think about summer!

That sounds spot on to me. The evil one seems to have slunk off this evening.

Thursday

Breakfast 7:30 2 weetbix, 1/3 C diced peaches , 1C low fat soy milk. 1 slice wholemeal toast with plum and cinnamon jam. Boiled egg . Coffee with 40 ml Hilo milk.

Lunch: 12:15 Sandwich with 2 slices wholemeal Vienna tin loaf (ie the tall slices), 2 slices double smoked leg ham, “gourmet” salad (ie mixed lettuce leaves, slice of cucumber) from stall at girl's school athletics carnival, minus the potato salad, plus the lettuce, tomato and beetroot out of the girl's hamburger. Apple. Slice of orange. Coffee with milk.

And I threw away the piece of hamburger the girl didn't eat, which wasn't much, though my friend was saying to just eat the meat and throw away the bread. Either way, it really isn't the calories on any one single item like that that counts. I found today that sticking to my exact intentions in one situation seems to be helping with the next one.

Snack 5:45 Slice wholemeal bread toasted, with jam. 4 fresh dates. 1 nice coffee with milk. I didn't have much time for this, and it was not low cal, but was within my intentions and satisfying. I really slowed down my eating as much as I could, and savoured it all. I reckon the 4 dates were more enjoyable than the 16 (), I had the other day. I've decided that in future I'm only going to buy them sometimes and then only 4 at once, because it is just to easy to keep eating them.

Dinner 7:45 100 gm saddleback snapper with coriander, chilli and lime. EVO oil. Slice of wholemeal Vienna tin bread. Veges and low fat French onion dip. Small star fruit.
9:20 Big chopped salad with lots of mixed lettuce leaves and tomatoes, and many other things! A very little balsimic vinegar.

Exercise: 30 minutes walk – Warwick. The donkey orchids are prolific!

You're food looks SOO good today. Great job. And you are ALMOST at your goal. You've lost so much!