Make no mistake, at times we find lil things that push us a lil harder, a lil further. For me it was Debi. Admitting such diminishes nothing of our individual efforts.

I miss her too.

Thursday November 29, 2007.

Breakfast: Usual breakfast.

Coffee.

Lunch: ~1:30 6 wholemeal Vive crackers. ~ 100 gm tinned red salmon with tomato and mushrooms.

Snack: Diet apricot yoghurt, ~ ½ cup leftover pasta with sauce. Carrot.

Dinner 8:30 Fresh fish marinated in mix of lime juice, chilli and coriander from a tube, fried in EVO oil. Salad veges: 2 carrots, 2 courgettes, 2 florets broccoli, 2 mushrooms, snow peas, capsicum, tomato. 4 fresh dates. Diet dry ginger ale.

10:00 2 weetbix with soy milk, and tinned peaches.

Exercise: 7:30 20 minute walk in local park (round and round and up and down!), with the dog.

I'm so glad you wouldn't say that.. I surely hope that No one would ever say that...

me too!

I think it was meant as an insult ... we are lesser than them and therefore 'if THEY can do it then i SURELY can!'

Always like to keep it in perspective :P

Potentially an insult. If I had said that. Except I said that I never say that!!!

And not only did I say that I never say it, but I never do say it either!!! or even think it!! And I most certainly never do do it!!

I did amaze myself about how far I could walk though, eventually ... and without any risk of breathing any dust!

*Thinks about it*

I was amazed. Yet now it doesn't seem like that far. It was quite a change.

I did think about Debi and the rest of you guys above, and other people (hope that's got me covered - it is the reality of it), to help me feel like trying things, to help me be bothered trying to see how I could get the time, and to prod me to make a move when it seemed like it was too awkward. Also I once I was moving I used my knowledge of what you guys were doing to push me further and faster. This is probably not much use to anyone else as a template because when it comes to the physical, I have almost no competitiveness in me. When I've striven to do my utmost in a sport it was always to try and make the game worth playing (see "always coming last" below). In general, I measure myself against myself.

But when I was trying to build on to what I was doing, especially at those moments when it was all going rather anaerobic on me, which could easily be interpreted as my body trying to feedback that it was time to stop, I would deliberately remind myself about other people, on the basis that they had shown me it could be done, so I would keep going. And I didn't look to athletes for those images. I'm pretty sure I came last in every single race I ever ran. I wasn't fat when I was a kid, but I was short, and when it first counted, I was always the youngest. I reckon I still tried as hard as I could, not because I wanted to win, but because I wanted not to be last (edit: and cos my mum told me that I just had to do my best), and and I definitely remember getting plenty of "stitches" from running while I was little. However, there was a shortcut available to me to stop having to come last, and as soon as I was able to, I took it, I stopped running!! So I didn't relate to TV athletes.

But I had an intention to use the stories of other people at this site. And I often would see that despite having started with such big weight issues they were achieving against difficulties that seemed much worse than mine, or achieving far more than I could imagine myself aiming at. That was a prod. It said to me that massive efforts could be made, and that therefore I could make some, at least some.

I would look back to see where people had started and see that it wasn't necessary for me to be able to do a great deal, in order for me to start. And I could also see that I would need to up the ante on what I was doing, if I was to make progress towards what I could see happening and what I admired.

Today I don't do that as much, even if I am at the end of an anaerobic lap and thinking that I want it to be the last one, because I have more of a habit of my own to look back on. Now I tell myself that I know I can keep going because I already have, but it wasn't always like that. I used to think, I can't keep going, and then remind myself that other people had kept going, and had in fact done much more difficult things, and so I would push on, instead of stopping.

I guess these days I do something similar, but it's less of a moment by moment thing, and more a matter of seeing that the mindset can be pursued indefinitely because there are others who do that - that there are other people who are still continuing their lifestyle change, or still continuing to push towards a goal weight.

Also (I am not going to try and mention the exact right names), I did use small encouragements I was given, I linked to the sites that were mentioned as helpful and I tried to copy some of the things I could see other people doing. I used other people who I knew in real life that were making an effort, and I used images of people striving to run or work out, on The Biggest Loser too.

And overall, I found out that I could push myself, could actually see myself as someone who exercised and exercised hard, could actually get an athlete's high.

Bonus.

I hope I've expressed this correctly. No time for getting it any more accurate today!!

Well written, Kerry A

Clearly you were ready to take on your individual task before you got here, as we all are but undoubtedly there is 'blanket coverage' within these (eh) pages on the 'ante up'-manship.

If WLF doesn't have impacting/inspirational qualities, well, it's missing its mark a weight loss forum. I'd like to think all true weight losers will find something in here that usable to 'step up', educate, expand upon and learn from - or any portion of.

To me, my most individual challenge was listening to a woman commit to hours on foot when I was somewhat proud of reaching the 45 to 60 minute mark on my walks. She may or may not intended to push me further but she did allow me to believe I could. Yes, I made the walk, she made me believe I could.

I shudder to think how many more pounds I'd (still) be wearing around the waist without someone from WLF 'stepping up' first in terms of 'going longer and further'. I can openly say I may very well of not reached my 'pushing potential' without WLF and key posters.

actually yeah i have to say the competitiveness kept me going all the time, i hate loosing and ill just give up rather than loose.
So if somebody rode 10 miles i would want to better it and do 12 etc, then said person sees me doing 12 and has to do 14 , and so on.
Same goes for 'i lost 4lb this week!' so you do your damnest to do more or work harder or do more consecutive weeks. I have to say Mal has been a great (and yet friendly) rival, we often lost larger numbers regularly and kept it up. i just gave up competing when i got to my first goal (I always wanted to slow it down towards the end and practice eating 'normally').
I dunno if anyone else felt the same way, maybe it was just me competing with others in my own mind. But hell if it worked - what do i care

Absolutely!!! Getting rid of the fat and gaining the fitness matter enormously, yet if it was easy for us to do, we never would have had weight issues in the first place. We do each have to find out what works for us as individuals, and having made those magic discoveries we need to use them to the max!!!

Friday November 30, 2007.

Breakfast: Usual breakfast.

Lunch: ~1:30 6 wholemeal Vive crackers. ~ 100 gm low fat cottage cheese with tomato and mushrooms. 2 small nectarines.

Dinner 8:30 ~150 gm veal, with EVO, sauce of mushrooms, sherry, yoghurt and parsley. Smashed potato. Microwaved broccoli, carrots. Grilled capsicum. 200 gm diet apricot yoghurt. ½ medium mango.

10:00 2 weetbix with soy milk, and tinned peaches. Green tea.

Rather a busy and stressful day overall and no exercise..


Saturday December 1, 2007.

Breakfast: Usual breakfast.

Snack 10:30 Cappuccino.

Lunch: ~2:30 25 gram beef jerky. 2 small apricots. 4 wholemeal Viva crackers. ½ large banana.

Snack: 4:30 1 apricot. ½ large banana.

Dinner 6:30 Lamb casserole. Lean lamb, potato, carrot, turnip, parsnip, sweetpotato, broccoli. It tasted great with no greasy edge to it at all. I don't know how much of anything I had but it felt about right, especially as the day was a bit light on food.
200gm diet apricot yoghurt. Bowl of sultana bran with soya milk. (? The slack, medium calorie way to make sure I felt full and finished with eating.)

Still no exercise. I got 2 significant phone calls in the space I had ready for it, and tomorrow is looking busy too. However, I see that if I go now and finish sewing my girl's dance costumes, and still go to bed at a decent hour, I have a window in the morning.

Only two more weeks of school, and two more weeks of dancing, then it's the summer holidays for 6-7 weeks.

I weighed myself today and finally - 70.0 kg - what I weighed before I went to New Zealand. 3 ½ weeks to put it on, and then despite it seeming to fall off in the first week back, 5 ½ weeks to get rid of it! The worst thing is that I reckon about ¼ – 1/3 the weight was due to me doing what I should have done on holiday and relaxing and trying out what was around, and the rest was due to me being way out of my comfort zone and new habits and reverting to eating like a pig, in ways that I enjoyed only briefly before they made me feel bloated and sluggish and exactly how I had intended not to feel.

So far as learning from this is concerned, well to this point, I haven't learned anything I didn't already know. Though I can see what some of the things were that I might have done differently, they were things I already knew but found difficult to put into practice in a situation full of change. I suppose the thing that might have worked would have been to change to straight out calorie counting before I left, so that I already could deal with how much to eat based on calories alone, and regardless of sometimes having no choice but to miss out on a proper balance. I don't know if I will ever be able to manage that though. I use the fact that there's a balance in my food as a support. A lap top would have helped a lot!! It's a bit hypothetical – I can't see myself being in that sort of situation again for that amount of time. Possibly way into the future...

Anyhow, I'm pretty sure today's is a proper weight – not especially higher or lower than yesterday, so now I can get on with the weight project properly again. This is a loss of about 0.5-0.7 kg since last Saturday.

I collected clothes today that I put on layby before the holiday. Luckily they still look ok, despite my thoughts about what I would weigh now being rather in advance of the reality. Also, I bought a new dress. I definitely didn't need it – it's indulgent gift material. I love that I can do that though. Being able to see something that looks nice and appreciate that it still looks nice when I'm in it is quite an improvement.

Hey Felici,

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I am originally from Auckland - where abouts in NZ did you go? It's funny, I am heading back there for 4 days on the 15th to see my dad for christmas. I can't wait. And I am already worried about the food thing, and wondering how I was going to handle it. I know dad will have planned a big christmas dinner and lots of outings and I don't want to offend, and I also want to enjoy, but I still have my goals you know??

It's the first time I will be able to spend this time with him in probably over 20 years so I don't want everything to revolve around me either - especially if he has gone to such trouble. He is quite old, and has had many health issues so I feel blessed to have this time with him. He is a walker, although he has bad hips and knees now, so I am looking forward to a gentle flat walk with him every day, and then I can go out on my own for more exercise.


And congrats on the 70kg mark - that's awesome. It was my goal for valentines day, but I don't actually know what I weigh because our scales fluctuate madly - and by madly I mean by 7-12 kg between one weigh and the other. So not sure whether I am in the 80's or 70's. Ah well, I am still doing what I am setting out to do, the figure there doesn't stop me!

Best wishes,

Frankie

On our holiday we landed in Christchurch, travelled south through Cardrona, Queenstown, and Te Anau, as far as Milford Sound, back up to Wanaka then across to the west coast, stopping to climb the Franz Josef glacier, then back across to the east and over to Wellington. We spent so much time winding around mountains that we didn't really see anything of the North Island. It was absolutely beautiful and if we lived on the east coast I would be wanting to holiday in New Zealand over and over.

Wishes lives in Auckland!! I have good friends here who are from Auckland too.

I can see your dilemma in the trip to see your dad. It seems that in the long run people who are able to stick with their healthy weight lifestyle through weekends and holidays are much more likely to stick with it for years to come so it's good to be able to enjoy those times without becoming too derailed.

Christmas is bound to be a challenge. Because I started here this time last year I was really unsure of myself leading into it. I tried to think through the issues so that I would be able to finish the time without feeling I had missed anything that mattered, while also feeling that I had good control over what I was doing and wouldn't be floundering afterwards. I even spent a while thinking hard about how to manage a visit to my mum's for afternoon tea! I did manage those times well and it was an enormous boost to my confidence. Even after the big time in New Zealand I reckon I could manage a local holiday - where I can anticipate the issues and take my own back up foods!! A shorter break would be easier too...

Eating off plan in a controlled way, with my limits worked out and a clear end point has turned out to be ok for me and not ended up ruining my overall purpose.

I can see how four such special days as yours would be a challenge. I'm sure you're right to emphasize how important it is to make the most of your time with your dad. I actually think that however you decide to manage the issues, you will do well. You are so resolved and clearly don't let circumstances throw you off. With your mind staying turned towards what you really want with your weight I can easily imagine you finding a way to be satisfied with how you have handled things.

It should be a wonderful time. I hope you thoroughly enjoy it.


As for your scales... Well as I said in your diary today, they strike me as extremely ill. I wonder if they will ever recover enough to be able to communicate clearly to you!! Perhaps... I remember when my scales would tell me that I was maybe 77 kilos or maybe 79 and then it changed to maybe 75 or maybe 77, which was a worthwhile change. Perhaps after a while instead of thinking that you are maybe 76 kg or 86 kg you will be able to think that you are 66 kg or maybe 76 kg and you will know that you have lost 10 kg!! Those looser clothes are a good measure for now!!

Sunday December 2, 2007.

Breakfast: 8:30 Usual breakfast.

Snacks/ lunch 12:30 Apple. 4 wholemeal Vive crackers.

4:00 A glass of white wine. A glass of diet dry ginger ale. Snow peas, mushrooms, light French onion dip, salsa. 4 wholemeal Vive crackers. A few (5?) Shapes Sensations crackers. (mini things, but not especially healthy). Kalamata olives, stuffed green olives, caper berries, 2-3 cherries, ~ 1 C green grapes.

Dinner 7:00 Take away (Red Rooster) chicken (1 thigh portugese skin free, ½ piece cracked pepper split skinfree, 1 roast thigh (I took the skin off but it was clearly had much more fat than the other chicken), and roast vegetables (pumpkin, carrot, peas and a very small potato 60 gm?), with gravy. Fresh salad veges from home (snow peas, capsicum, carrot and courgette).

Snack 9:30 Diet apricot yoghurt. 3 large strawberries.

No exercise. Today was one of those days when it just wasn't possible. It was the kind of day that makes me think I needed to make more effort when it was possible, so that I had more exercise banked in advance. It was a good day but busy. I was up late trying to fight with the girl's frilly tutu last night, because today was costume check. The morning exercise window didn't open. She has five different costumes for her dance concert in 2 weeks so we were at the check for ages, about 4 hours. I wasn't well organized for food there either, though I did bring enough to keep me from getting too weird.

Just before we left home we had a call to say that my sister-in-law would like to visit when we got home! Yesterday I left early for a stage rehearsal some distance from here, and then shopped all afternoon, so when we did get home today, it was time for a short scramble to straighten things up. After we had a lovely visit, I organized dinner and then I fell asleep!

I was happy with the way I organized the food at home today. The afternoon snacks fitted in fairly well with what I normally eat. Also, I was glad that I ordered the roast veges (wish I'd skipped the skin-on chicken!). And pleased that I made myself wait long enough, that I got some extra veges ready. It made the meal satisfying, while still low effort. Quite often I find take-away meals are not that low in effort, because I'm mucking around going to different places for the rest of the family, and not that satisfying because they can be eaten very fast. I guess it seems to me that you don't get much food per calorie when it's take-away! Of the places I've tried near here, this is the only one where I can get take-away food that suits me well.

Yeah im in Auckland, im always welcome to visitors. Now as for the visiting thing. Its calorie game ergo you CAN eat the bad stuff, but just in moderation. Most meals have veg, even if its a token gesture. Grab it and fill up on it, but make sure you grab a little of the good stuff as well and slip it onto your plate.
This works whenever i go to familys place or out somewhere, fill up on veg then eat a small amount of the high calorie stuff. I end up feeling stuffed full but havnt overeaten.

Hey Wishes (fellow Kiwi) and Felici,

Thanks for the thoughts on dealing with my wee trip home.

And Felici, I am soooo jealous of your trip, I still haven't been everywhere there yet, but there is still time. There are just so many beautiful places to see in NZ. And I never spend enough time there. My husband and I both love travelling and there is always some where new to explore. You will have to get to the north island, it has its beautiful spots too. But so does Perth. I guess we are all lucky in our own part of the world really.

Take care,

Frankie