oooo good spotting! move the bingeing chair! put pins facing upwards in it!

I'll plonk my bottom somewhere else, that's for sure.

You have such a cute new AVATAR!!!

hehe you could always have a routine when eating. Something akin to.

1) Why am i Eating
2) Have I eaten more than xxx calories within the last hour
3) If ive eaten to much and feel like im on a binge, what can i do to stop myself (get out of the house, read a book, walk etc)
4) Take note of how im feeling and what im doing so i can avoid that in future.

Hopefully you can catch yourself earlier in the binge. Took me ages to figure out for myself that i tend to binge/eat when i have a full bowel, and yeah i know its weird, very weird!

Thanks. I thought it was time for a change.

yeah i like the AV also, you look good with your hair pulled back like that

Ta. It's not exactly styled back - just falling where it feels like it. I am happy that I can see pics that are of me the way I think I look and the way I mostly am, and don't mind posting them. I think I must have become more used to the way I look. Well, I think it's a combination of that, and the way the teeny size requirements screen out the wrinkles.

wishes ...
Thanks for this. It is probably a bit like what I'm doing, but it's helpful to have someone else say it like this - it jogs my thoughts from a different angle somehow.





Yesterday I went for a wonderful swim at the beach in the morning with my girl and her friend. As she had a friend I felt free to do what I wanted mostly and just swam the whole time. I would have been out there for an hour and not doing anything hard but equally moving the whole time, swimming against the current quite often - and constantly, actually swimming, not standing. There was a bit of a swell. There were yachts further out. I was moving and the water was moving me too, up and down and I was thinking how awesome it was. Really, that if there was no ocean and someone invented something like this and let people have a go moving in it like this, they would pay an unlimited amount for the chance.

And I ate fine. And then for whatever reason - not because I hadn't had 8 hours sleep, I had - I felt sleepy during the afternoon and decided to have a nap, though I thought it might cause me problems. I had a shower first. It didn't wake me up. I had the nap. Well slept for an hour I suppose. Afterwards I felt fine for a little while, needed to buy chicken for the dinner we'd decided on, and went out. Needed more bread, would have to go to the bakery. Umm. Yeah feeling hungry. No crackers in the car. Maybe jerky would be better anyway. Wolfed jerky that tasted like salty cardboard. Got to bakery still thinking in my half asleep way about brunchies (rectangular, savoury eggy, muffin things), and there were none but there was a pritikin muffin. Ummm. How bad could pritikin be (no egg, no milk, no fat, wholemeal, no refined sugar ...) Enormous size though. Heaps of spice, devoured instantly. Well not craving anything after that.

I knew the meal was dodgy. No salad in the basic meal. Thai green chicken curry. Somehow, at the best of times it doesn't ever seem like I've eaten much. So I planned to eat extra salad. Though there were 5 of us and by the time I had trimmed all visible fat from enough thighs for 5 I was pretty much over the kitchen.

I sat in a different chair. I sat in a different kind of chair, but I did sit in the room with the TV and watch So you think you can dance. After eating the meal I figured I was not even full so I ate nuts. 3 brazil nuts, 5 cashews, 3 walnut halves. I didn't make it all the way to just walnuts. I ate my yoghurt. I ate an apple. I ate another apple. I thought - yeah - I can fix this, just eat apples till I'm over it all, they're small ones, only about 40 calories or so, I'm bound to get tired of this and stop eating. Actually I got tired of eating apples after 2 but I still wanted to eat. I wanted more intense sweetness in a smaller package. The strawberry Tim-Tams my girl had put in my shopping trolley were driving me crazy with their "Just one" siren song. WTF Why would anybody put strawberry in the middle of perfection, but still there would be chocolate on the outside. I ate a half a mini box of apricot and sultanas. Well, that was not so bad. I ate it slowly, one little bit at a time and I stopped half way. And about then SYTYCD finished I think. Or I had a cup of coffee or whatever, and I escaped out of the tv room into the bedroom to watch a movie I really wanted to see called The Constant Gardener, which I was sure I wanted to watch and which turned out to be quite engrossing and I was fine, over the whole thing with some calorie damage, but no chocolate.

Monday

I woke up and ate as normal, but it's not a normal day it's a holiday. I have my family to consider again. And an extra girl who has slept over. I love that girl, who I have known since she got into my car when she was 4 or 5 and talked nonstop all the way home - I mean NONstop. However much I value her, she is still very full on.

I got so cranky this morning. I was so confused about what I was supposed to be doing. Going to the health club, because it was Monday and it was mid morning and my breakfast was digested and I didn't have to take my boy to the beach after all because some other mum had, but then there was my husband talking about driving up the coast but the girls didn't want to go because too much driving and I thought well we could skate, but no the rinks were closed or closed down and omg that girl was on my computer and I was just soooooo cranky. And you know I do know that I am uber fortunate to have all these people I love, who love me, in my house living with me, in my house which is an ok house, with all that good food and such, and I did tell myself that, in between grouching at them ...

But anyway, I made everyone lunch (I am so over being the kitchen slave) and ate a proper lunch, except for putting jam on one of my pieces of bread, and then the boy rang up to be collected which was not convenient really except ... thank goodness for me getting out of the house and away from being tormented in and by the kitchen. And yes, maybe just getting out of the house is quite a helpful change that I might be glad of some other time (thank you wishes).

Then I got the girls, bought petrol, didn't listen to all the chocolates next to the cash register, went to Hillarys. The girls climbed "Jungle Mountain" at moderate expense and I went and walked up and down the stairs, aiming for 2000, but having to stop after 1000 because my knee went funny. Well I think I needed to stop. It was going down that bothered it, so I started going up faster and down super slow and that fixed it but then it got worse again so I stopped.

But I did NOT have a cappucino. I had a diet Pepsi.

And then the girls and I went for a swim at the beach and it was wonderful again. Despite the other girl trying to persuade me that she was drowning and requiring attention which she did not really need ... except in that she always does require more than a normal child. It really was wonderful anyway.

And we dropped off the other girl and I put my shoes back on and went shopping for veges and bread. And fortunately the bakery was out of munchies and out of pritikin muffins. And the fruit and vege shop only had dates in packs of 12. Twelve in my house at once I can't handle. What if I ate 12? (4x165) I bought more apples.

And showered and made dinner. We all had slightly different things. I had grilled lamb, and grilled mushrooms and corn. The corn was so fresh and wonderful. Also I had a great big pile of salad veges which I could eat for ages and ages at the cost of about 60 - 70 calories. We watched The Biggest Loser. And the elmination show from So you think you can dance. And I drank pepsi, and ate a yoghurt. And I was thinking that really the thing I should do about this eating hassle is not think about it, but I was thinking about it, and I toasted myself 2 slices of bread with jam, and ate it slowly and with appreciation as though it was cake, drank my coffee. And then the show ended, and the weather's not that hot, again, like last night, so my bedroom was cool enough. I went there and watched Good News Week. In my bedroom I was okay. I actually got the relaxed feel of not having to worry about food. OMG. I remember that feeling. That was the feeling I had over and over last year. It is evening. Dinner is finished. I don't have to worry about food. What a relief. And Good News Week was hilarious and engrossing.


Yeah. So I dunno, shifting chairs helps a bit. Getting out of the room the tv is in helps more. It is also the room with the dining table in it, so I don't plan to stop eating in there altogether ...

Also, sleeping during the day - I did sleep after school on Friday too, before having a hard time all evening. It definitely mucks me up, so, time for bed now, and if I feel like sleeping in the day time, next time, I'll have extra coffee instead I think.

You sound like your mind has been running non-stop for the past few days!! It seems like it worked pretty well. You did great! I'm glad the switching of chairs helped a bit. And how awesome that you resisted chocolate!! Keep it up.. you are constantly finding ways to better yourself and your bad habits. Very admirable.

hi

luv the glowy av

Figured it's about time I swing by here and say hello.

I too, love the new AVI.

Thank you!! I have really been trying hard - despite or more likely because of finding things difficult lately! I just hope I have learned some lessons that I can make work for me next time I need them.

Thank you. Glowy huh! That heavy duty old lady's moisturizer must look better in photo's.

What a nice surprise to see you here.

Another nice surprise. Thank you!



*********

And today when I wasn't expecting to hear about work, I did! So off I went for the day, to look after some of the youngest children I've ever taught. It was a better day than Friday - much more demanding. I have reallybeen hanging out for some work like that. In fact the whole day was busy as - after work also.

And I feel so normal! I love it. There was a time when it might have swung the other way I think.

Two good potentially influential moments:

1. I was too busy for a break after work. However, I had extra crackers left over from lunch time in my handbag, and before I left home again, I took a moment to grab an apple as well. So while rushing hither and thither I did actually get a piece of fruit and a few good carbs. I never really expect the crackers to count for much in advance. They look like nothing, and don't taste like much!! I ate the apple and then kind of talked myself into bothering to eat them, but the moment I had a little I felt very confident that it was filling a need. I suppose if blood sugar spikes are an issue for me I do need to pay some attention to not waiting too long to top up, as well as not topping up too high too fast. At any rate, back when I was frequently having 1-2 of these in the afternoon, I was finding things easier, and today was easier too.

2. When I finally was home to stay, it was already time to get dinner, and I felt like falling asleep. However, I did neither. I made the coffee I'd missed and sat down and drank it ... and revived!! Those sleepy moments in the early evening have been bad news for me lately so I'm pretty happy about that.

Another nice thing is that my dog is so much better that I took her for a little walk in the bush today. I didn't have the heart for a walk without her, but she is heaps better now, just a little limp, and back to sproinging up and jumping on lizards despite that! It was only a 20 minute walk, but I really truly didn't have time for more.

I'm back to work again tomorrow but just for the morning, so I'm hoping for some space to go back to the health club. I do have arrangements to make for my daughter's birthday party, and birthday presents, and have to return her frog to the creek ... but I would like to have a little go at the machines at the club before I totally forget what the trainer told me. It looks to me like there are a myriad of different machines and I don't know which ones we went to! Last time I looked I really had no idea, but I'm thinking maybe that means it doesn't matter? Or that there are actually only 6 kinds, but there are multiples of them? LOL. Whatever. Last time I could see two that had different names and looked different, but you actually sat on them in the same place and put your hands in the same position ... This was not exactly what I planned, but I think it's all good. I've definitely upped both the amount and intensity of my activity lately.

So breakfast was normal, snack was an apple, lunch was crackers with lowfat cottage cheese and veges, and an apple (They had no coffee in that classroom!!!). After school I had another apple and 2 crackers. 6:45 I had a coffee. Dinner was a yummo turkey mince (125 gm) and lots of veges stirfry/stewie thing with a smashed potato (100gm). 2-3 diet pepsis. And eventually I had a diet apricot yoghurt.

Exercise was just the little walk. Though today was not exactly a sitting down day. Lots of walking back and forth at work, plus the shopping and the house stuff.

I don't think I watched TV. I was too busy. So I was never in the danger room really! It's the biggest room in the house - I can't exactly quit going there. LOL! I'm really happy just to be feeling normal again - to have had a night off from all those niggling nagging thoughts about food.

Great job today!! And even a little walk counts for something!! Its not the fact that it was a little walk... it was EXERCISE. Good for you for making time for it. And good job on the apples. And I'm glad work was nice. ((This post is a grammatical mess!! lol. sorry))

Coffee keeps me going. It makes me in such a good mood in the mornings!! But I will only drink Dunkin Donuts coffee, or starbucks. I like strong coffee. Oh... and only ICE coffee.

Ponting must be beside himself, eh. Sad to see Gilchrist retire These live feeds are awesome but those matches keep me up till 5am !!

oh, so maybe they make an 'old man' moisturizer ?? I need to look into that. I look so vanilla right now.

If you're 'only as old as you feel', my guess is you're feeling pretty fresh these days you look well, honestly.

Ice coffee here is milky, and quite often ice creamy!! I don't want to get into that! (Well, not again, because I did have a passion for it at one time...) But I do like some decent flavour in my coffee. Instant is a lot more common here than where you are I think, and I've drunk heaps, but not lately because I'm so much appreciating the better taste of something better - and because then I can drink it with just a titch of milk and not have to think about the calories!

I do get a sore tummy occasionally when I'm off and on with my food and coffee gets awkward then. I don't have issues to the extent of yours just now though. I do hope they are analyzed and fixed fast.
I still don't actually watch cricket, but I have noticed my husband staying up later than usual - ie awake after 9:30 pm. This Cup must be playing in another country ... I wonder which one? Despite not watching I had to notice Gilchrist leaving - and yeah - what a showman and what a scorer. No team would want to lose him.

OK, I guess you're saying you appreciate my colour! We do got all the luck when it comes to sunshine and then there's the sea to entice me out where the sun is ... You have to wait so long for yours!! I'm sure that once it arrives you will be brown as, and NEED lots of moisturizer just like all the sunseekers do, whatever their age.

Despite all the grumps I've had recently, I do feel well. I'm really pleased to be able to pretty much do some of whatever exercise I chose right now, even if not masses. I was pretty conscious of how much easier the stair climb felt the other day than the first time I did it - despite the knee still being a bit dicky. I'm planning to get a new assessment from my physio soon and make a point of doing some specific work to get these dodgy bits at optimum. Sea swimming doesn't really help with that. I still do silly things there. The other day I was mucking around with the girl and did a handstand in the water. How the heck could I miss knowing where the sand was when both my hands were touching it? I dunno, but still bashed my head on it anyway!! LOL. still, I feel like I'm continuing to get stronger - and coming back faster from things like that. I'm not about to leave out the activities that sometimes lead to injuries because being able to do them is such a big part of my motivation here anyway.

ah, well I appreciate the tanned female gender no matter what corner of the globe they reside. I do tend to get jealous of your climatology - so friggen unfair

Aussies are sucking badly to the Indians in a 3 game series named the Commonwealth Bank Series, it finishes up on Thursday. Your statesmen are down 0-2. I do enjoy the One Day matches. Test matches, well, not so much. Kinda weird for a sport to take a lunch AND a tea break in our hemisphere. And I thought NASCAR races were long *yawns*

Go crazy with your workout agenda, by all means favor that C1 thru C5 - shit, who needs spoon-fed til death do you part ?!?! Oye !!