well i guess if you expect a gain and you get one you will be sweet with that, if you get a loss or even just the same its a bonus

Felici, Where have you been?

Too busy working out right? Heh heh, I hope you are doing ok.

I hope your weekend was good. Talk to you soon.

Go Blue Team!!!

Hehe, yeah, I know what you mean about responding to him (Blanks, btw).
I like how he talks right to the camera, and sometimes points at you...and it seems like he knows exactly when to do it too....right when I'm about to throw in the towel, he tells me I can do it...to keep going! hahaha...that guy is one hell of a motivator!


I hope you're doing well. Update soon, as I love to read your posts, even if I don't always respond.

Well I had a gain. About a kilo. I guess that was fair enough.

I wish I could say I had been working out. The truth is I have two reasons not to log on here at present. One is that I'm eating badly and that conflicts with posting here. The other is that I'm trying hard to keep my attention focussed on another couple of projects right now, and even logging on here seems to be a major distraction.

I need to rearrange things in my house. I guess that sounds small enough but in fact I have enough gear in the room housing my computer to run a kindy classroom for a week without using anything from a school. Also there are 3 computers in here and a million cables. Now I have to fit in another large desk and it turns out that this means I need to shift pretty much everything in the whole house. Also I am still working on the school quiz night, looking after the children and so on, and worked Friday and Monday.

Monday was full on crazy, suddenly raining after many dry months, bringing traffic to a crawl and catching me pushing a tv set through the rain in my t-shirt and sandals, to "teach" "music" in a stand alone "music" building in the middle of the puddles between the old buildings of an old primary school - composed of 50% mainstream classes and 50% "intensive English" (= new refugees). Every day I kind of wish someone would ring and ask me to work and kind of hope they don't so that I can properly get stuck into my own projects with minimal distraction. My preference is to just do one thing full on till it's finished. Reality is that I've had to learn to behave differently, but right now I'm trying to revert to type a bit so that this reorganization thing actually happens. Another reality is that the newer healthier felici needs to control this tendency because it's opposed to managing proportions, and portions and in general, opposed to control. I don't want to reflect on this too much now though because actually I need to get off the computer!!

My weight ... . Basically, I need to recommit to dealing with it properly but I'm not.

Thanks. I feel the same about Billie Banks!! He is very motivating.

Aaagh! Whatever I'm doing these days I'm thinking, I really need to be catching up with something else.

Even now, my 2 sentences that I told myself I should at least record here, is a page or so ... I'm going.

Yet, it really is too bad to stay off the forum. I keep thinking about everyone I am missing. (Plus I know I need this place for my own health). I will have to come back tomorrow to read only ... but but but ... I am very bad at staying quiet if I read. So, I will stay quiet but not if something is happening that is very very important. Seriously, that is a rationalization right? I recognize the sound. I'm buggered if I know what I'm supposed to do that is the actual right way requiring no rationalizations though. Also, many things seem to me to be very very important. Well there are many things that are very very important aren't there? Especially here.

Right now I should be asleep. Also I should have already done other things that I have not done and which I will do before I go to bed. Also I am wound up and massively motivated to do a bunch of stuff. Well all these things conflict don't they. And that conflict is not good for calming me down to go to sleep, even though I see that this should be the priority I go for ...

*smothers self with pillows which are not sufficient to stop this last piece of post sneaking out*

take some time for YOURSELF. Make sure you get plenty of mess. We all miss you...but we all understand that WLF isn't anyone's life. There are a lot of other things going on. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy your day

ouch for the 1kg gain - mind you mine goes up and down 1kg easily with just water weight so i wouldnt call it a gain unless it hangs around longer than a couple weeks.

Hey Felici, Sorry to hear your not eating as well as you would like. I've been eating like a starved animal as well. In fact I had 5 yes 5! pieces of take out pizza on Sunday. It was so good and I just couldn't stop eating it even though I knew I would feel lousy afterward and probably erase all my hard workouts!

I feel ya about feeling disorganized. Brandy is right, slow down and take a break for yourself. Even if your not eating the best, try to get in some exercise. At least that will relieve some of the stress. Even if its just a walk in the fresh air will clear your mind.

Good luck with it and we will be thinking of you.

Feli,
Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now, so stop beating on yourself for not eating properly, you have always done so darn well in the past, and every time I read your menu I would drool with jealousy because you eat so balanced and good. But, there will always be ROADBLOCKS on our journey and we just have to work around them, as we both know road blocks are time consuming, so don't expect them to go away real fast, but know it's OKAY! you will get back on track when everything straightens itself out, with all the planning and school stuff and your family I don't know how you manage to breath, you had me tired after reading about your day.

I have not been posting that often either, as my work has me very tied up these days and well once I get home I have so much to do there I rarely have time to even look at the computer, and my weekends well they have been jam packed with my hubby's stuff or the weather is bad and I can't get anything done. I feel exactly how you do, but I know how wonderful you are! I know how many times you motivated me with your kind words and how determined you were during the past year for your own weight loss. You will get there again, and we will be here to keep you plugging forward, and don't feel bad for posting "NON POSITIVE" items, life is not all about the good, we all encounter NEGATIVE times an stuff on our journey's WE ALL DO!, so you just keep coming in and posting good or bad and we will be here to help you through it, even though sometimes my advise just isn't useful at all, but I am a GOOD LISTENER, and that's a fact! Cheer up my dear, your doing fine!!
lots of love
Kim

Billy musta kidnapped you

Hope all is well down under.

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses here guys. I will reply properly later. Probably not for a few days

I am not kidnapped! The desk is in. The computers are shifted and all the cords (including the new ones) are replugged in place. I am scared to log on to the net though because I never do get off again in under an hour! LOL! I came on tonight just to make sure a friend's house hadn't been blown away in a storm (it wasn't), and as usual the hour is closing in on me!

I gained 9 lbs the other day.

Don't sweat it!

I'm so sorry you're feeling frustrated. I understand the desire to hide out when things aren't going well. For me, though, I find that daily accountability really is the best tool to keep me honest about my weight loss. If I can't feel comfortable about writing down that I've eaten something, then it's easier not to eat it. Same thing with exercise. That's only me, of course, and I completely understand wanting to focus on your own projects, which must be difficult with so much going on!

Just know that we all wish you well and want to hear how you're doing.

Sophie

Hey Felici! Just thought I would stop by and say hello. Seems like things are fairly chaotic for you right now!! As was said before, take time for yourself. And don't worry about that 1kg gain. I like what Wishes said about the water weight and not counting it unless it has been there for a few weeks. Sounds pretty reasonable to me!!

I dont' have enough time tonight to go through your diary to check out how far you have come (although from that first entry to now it seems like a long way!!!) but I plan on checking back in!! Hoping things will start to slow down for you.

Hi Felici

I was concerned when you mentioned that you had been having trouble with binges when you resigned from the challenge.

I am sure that many of us know just how difficult binges can be - and how distressing. You can actually feel yourself undoing all that hard work.

Well done for talking yourself out of that binge recently. Feel proud of yourself for that.

I had my last mega binge in September just before joining this forum. When I binge I do it in style. I dont even need to like the food and it doesnt matter whether it is in date or out of date at the back of the cupboard - when the idea enters my head to eat it - it is totally irresistable.

I told several people about it when I last binged like that and I got lots of phone calls through the day the next couple of days to make sure that I had broken it.

There is definitely some sort of emotional trigger for me.

Now I try and channel things into what is basically quite healthy stuff or that will not do too much damage. I might drink lots of diet cola (which generally I try to cut down on) or eat lots of extra fruit (and I already eat tons of it). Honey shreddies are the nearest thing to junk food that I eat (but at least they are wholegrain) and sometimes I eat definitely too much of them.

The triggers happen - and some form of binge can take place - but the effect is minimal.

You mention a lack of carbohydrates being possibly linked to your triggers. I notice that you have weetabix every day. I have weetabix every day. The pack says a serving is two weetabix but I always have three. It is wholegrain and unsweetened so maybe having an extra weetabix may make all the difference.

For me - a day is a good day if I do my walking - irrespective about what I eat. I know that your days are busy at work (but I know that you have those holidays), but I go out on my long walk every morning - so I can quickly say to myself that I am having a good day. I even managed to convince myself that the massive binge in September wasnt a bad day (just a bad food day) because I did walk over 6 miles that morning. Another benefit from walking is that it takes me away from food for that time.

It definitely sounds like you are taking on too much. Do you need to organise things like quiz nights as part of your job or is it something that you volunteer for? I would stop volunteering for things if I were you. There are only so many things that we can do in a day. To try to take on more that is destined for failure. To feel yourself failing at something is never a good feeling. If you could bring your list down to a more manageable size - you may be able to cross things off and retain a feeling of control and organisation.

Rest assured - we would all be gaining weight if dealing with as much stress as you are.

Come to the forum if it helps. Stay away if it helps. There are no rules about having to make postings. Lurk a little and see if you get something out of that.

Those cheesecake yoghurts certainly sound good. I will certainly be checking those out soon.

Take care
Love
Margaret

I agree with Omega's brilliant post. Sometimes we have to do the 'big picture' thing, look in the mirror and smile about all the weight that's gone and work off of that.

Never let the bad be your influence.


Peace, Love and Vegemite Sandwiches