Yeah. I think this helps me keep my awareness up, and although that's not enough by itself, it is one of the things I need to do to eat well. I figure that even if I don't have all the good habits I need, I can have some of them - including this one. This is the idea of people who say you need to think about lifestyle changes rather than go on diets, and it makes sense to me. I suppose it's like a day where you don't eat well but do exercise or don't exercise but do eat well - one out of two is better than none out of two? Therefore I am still posting here.

I actually have to force myself to do it sometimes, because I can't post here without (at least mentally), confronting my inadequate behaviours and considering how I can make some sort of improvement and I am mostly disinclined to do that.

However, your comment about "the road paved" is the other side of this issue. Sometimes I'm making progress, sometimes not, sometimes going backwards - I'm very conscious that it's "the road to hell" that's "paved with good intentions". I have to do things not just intend to do them. I am trying to steer clear of that by not intending to do more than I feel capable of, and by making sure that I am actually doing some things right.

I'm sorry you feel that your own road's been limited too. ((hugs)) ( ... I bet it's way higher than mine though!)

Yes, I did botch the old saying slightly. I'm glad you understood it all the same. You're a pretty sharp cookie.

My lack of chatties is relevant to your road reference. It has been a juggling act here. I don't give myself enough credit for why I'm being consumed in other capacities but I'd rather curse it.

Today I drove Rob for his last 400 mile round trip. Today was the day where all final test were done, surgical team meetings and whatnots finalized and a date given for his heart valve transplant. And of course you know my other things I'm dealing with outside of his concerns.

I barely get to catch my breath for a week and then it will be a blur up till June 2nd for his transplant. I loved my life and ambition in 2006-7, loathed '08 and now '09 is pressure cooking me early into it. I would totally have to turn my back on those that need me if I was to return to my 'old wl self'. What a tricky crossroad I'm at.

You're right, awareness alone is like a kiss without a squeeze or a pizza without cheese. I feel like my leopard spots are fading fast.

Of course a kiss is better than a slap.

You sound like a weary man who could do with a long night's sleep and an hour two to himself, out on the trail. I hope you use this next week to recharge your batteries so you have a bit of oomph in reserve for the next busy patch.

I woulda said you already changed those spots. I don't suppose it would hurt them to have little circles of family challenge around their edges and I don't think your old wlself would turn his back on them either.

Even though I know the busyness in my life brings down my own health, I still see that as being a challenge I'm working on - I don't want to be without it. I suppose I think we all need roles and purposes outside our individuality. We definitely need both.

As you know I certainly relate to anyone who's finding the juggling awkward. Any added ball is going to disrupt whatever rhythm's there, and if we're thrown extra's that we haven't practiced on, there'll definitely be some dropped. We can pick some of them up again though and keep practicing. As far as crossroads go - all our possible roads now are variations on something better than the one we had in 2005. No?



And as for me, I just managed a much better day. I worked plenty. I paced myself a little better than I sometimes do though. I tried and made sure that I grabbed myself a cup of tea at recess, at lunch and immediately after school. And I even sat down for a little while at recess. I'm pretty sure it made a difference to my feeling that I could keep on being reasonable, and wasn't already stretched to my limit by the time I got home. I'm just talking about doing something really obviously helpful, which I none the less, mostly don't even think about doing. So I'm thinking for the future, I do need to think about doing it! And I need to remember it, and I need to actually do it.

Wow, I really feel my mind resisting that thought, despite how obviously right it is. I've seen a little sheet up in another school where I worked, and someone put it up in the ladies loos at my current school recently, and I just thought, yeah, true ... but didn't see the relevance to myself. It is relevant though. (I don't remember enough of it to find it on-line, but basically it says we know it's easy to stand with our arms out straight and our hands level with our shoulders for 10 seconds but the longer we do it for without a break, the more it becomes agonizing instead of easy - this also applies to other activities which cause stress - so take breaks!) I sit at my computer and get absorbed and don't change my posture (not good for my joints), and stare uninterruptedly at the screen, or at what I'm writing (not good for my eyes) and I go from one activity to another at school and don't feel obliged to take little time outs. At school, I've been feeling obliged to just cram as much in as I can but when I think about it I know that's bound to be counter productive. It's my natural inclination to do things that way but it needs a little tweaking. It's probably important enough to go onto my list of daily goals I made when I joined here. New daily goal. "Take little breaks for the purpose of having more endurance, more productivity and better health!!"

I changed from coffee to tea these last 2-3 days because I read that whereas tea and coffee both have caffeine in them (which I usually feel in need of), tea also has some other component, which helps us feel more focused, whereas coffee can make lead to more of a jittery feeling. I don't know if that's true - but I personally have been feeling better with the extra tea, and less coffee. I was scared to skip the breakfast coffee at first but today I even had tea at breakfast and I felt fine. The first day, I was actually a bit resistant to the idea of switching at all while I was feeling tired, but the idea of feeling more focused was pretty appealing, so I gave it a go.

I saw an article in a printed newspaper about white tea possibly being good for losing weight too - as well as definitely being good for cardiovascular health. I'm very skeptical about taking things to lose weight - that link isn't about that, but I might try some - even if it's just to add a bit of variety - or maybe because I'm going to drink something anyway, and if one kind is more helpful to my heart than another, then I guess it could be a change worth making.

Anyway, in the end, today I did get a short walk in after work, and I only ate at meal times! For me, right now, that's a good result. One day at a time.

Today wasn't as good as yesterday. It was a busy Saturday, in the tradition, and I let myself get a bit low on food so I was ravenous before dinner and out of my groove afterwards - plus the walk was overtaken by unexpectedly driving the kids around (which by now I should expect ... ). Still, right at this very moment, I haven't strayed too far from yesterday's pattern. It bothers me that I have a bunch of work to do for school and I know I can't get all of it done and took too long doing what I did today. I actually like doing all of it - if I could do it more slowly - but I don't have time to do it more slowly. I will just have to prioritize again. AND go for a walk!

heya Felici

Those 'weight loss' teas have no more effect than normal tea which is great. Any warm fluid tends to make me feel warm and full and not so hungry, also great after eating to make me stop eating (always get that insulin spike after eating and crave sweet things!)

I totally agree. It works like that for me too.


Last two days - food not so good. Sunday, walked, and went to bed too late. Today after school I stayed late and then ran around after my kids again. Yes, that is a pattern. Tonight needed to be early to bed but is normal.

I feel ... fine. I'm not comfortable with this fat in my way though ... I suppose I'm a bit more comfortable with the fat than I am with my job and so the job keeps stealing my time and attention. Still I need to stay healthy, so I will keep trying to change this. Tomorrow I have to leave work early to get my girl to dancing - and she's at dancing for a while - so I will use that time to get in a decent walk. And I will try again to behave moderately during the day.

Hey you kinda fell threw the cracks for a bit there...it appears startign a new relationship in amongst everythign else is alot to add to my crazy life and schedule..LOL

But i am back and here i need refocus and rejournal and keep myself accountable i cant do that with out being here.

Hiya! Just make sure you get some sleep!!

I agree with you, posting here helps me too - though for the moment, I have to be careful about how much I actually post, checking in regularly is making a difference for me.

Today, I ate ok and went for a decent walk. Yay.

Today I left work early to do something with my girl - I thought I'd be over it quickly and go for a walk, but it turned out to be a bit messy - I had the wrong kind of trousers on to walk in etc etc. so I let myself fade out. I had a good day at work - not stressing, not too tired. Parent hassle after school (flaming cracked parents we have) - but really not my problem. Yeah. Anyway, I could have walked, and I didn't. I ate crappily instead.

I'm going to try taking more food to work - two pieces of fruit and two vegetables. Yesterday I was really tired after work, but I had a carrot on the way home - heaps of chewing required, slow work - and then when I finally sat down here I had an apple ready. (Plus I actually DID the walk instead of just thinking I would - but I think the two things interact - walk helps good eating and good eating helps the walking.) I think those high chewing high fibre foods really helped keep me going and stopped the mad munchies.

At any rate, tomorrow will be messy after school cos boy to dentist. But, things are sort of ready for the morning - I'm going to have a really early night and then hopefully a really early morning and early start at work - take the extra food - so maybe I can get my act together after work a bit better, and walk after the dentist.

Oh - and it rained! Far out - we have had a long dry spell - the rain we got earlier stopped again without doing much - but tonight we had some proper rain again. - This makes the bush walks more tricky - though also it gives things a chance to grow again. The new tendrils we had before had kinda dried up. Banksias kept blooming though - I wonder if they just keep going till there's something to take over from them. It seems like there's always something flowering regardless. Anyway, it was nice to hear the rain.

I'm still here. I have some bug that's limiting things a bit. My eating has been pretty lousy. The weather was stormy for a couple of days which kept me inside, and then the bug flared up so my exercise has been crap too. The only thing I'm doing right really is sleeping.

I hope you're doing better than me!!

It sucks that you aren't feeling the best. AT LEAST you are getting sleep! lol. Don't be too down, theres always a time to pick things up. Hope you feel better sooon!

Thanks, Brandy! (((hugs)))