Thank you soo much for posting this!! *hugs*

yea it's nice out with the dog. Mine just likes to pull so bad it's a workout all in itself.

I lost 1.2 kg this week. I'm happy with that. I forgot it was the day and ended up going for a little hot walk with my husband first. Also I drank about 750 ml of water. So this is a bit hard to compare with last week. On the upside, now I can go for a walk first in future without worrying about it mucking up the comparison from the previous week.

HEY!! A loss is a loss! I'm just glad to hear you forgot about weighing in!
I could barely sleep Sunday night I was so worried about weigh in.

If the walk/water had any affect on your weight, it could only mean you loss more which should show up in your next weigh in. Right?

Well either way good job and keep it up!!!

Thanks jajochku. I do get a bit more absent minded than usual in the holidays. Tomorrow is my birthday. One year, quite a while back, I was out at midnight and told the peole I was with that it was my birthday NOW, then when we talked about it, it turned out no, NOW was when my birthday had just finished!

Hi Felici, thanks for dropping by my diary!
Is there a reason that weighing the next day wouldn't work? Is there a significant difference between the conditions you face on the two days?
I'm just kind of curious, I don't actually own a scale, besides which, the ones I need aren't easy to find anyhow.

That's neat about the birthday, I do the same thing some years I watch for the exact minute I am listed at
I hope you have some delicious and wonderful foods, all in moderation. And plenty of drinks, the same way! Most of all, I hope you have good friends and a good time!

Ojay
Hi!! Yes. I guess I could have weighed myself tomorrow and it would still have showed that what I am doing is having the sort of result I'm looking for. I think being able to compare one week to another is probably just a bit of fun at this stage.

BMI / Goals
Some time ago I worked out my BMI. At that time my weight was getting close to morbidly obese, but was going down. I haven’t calculated the BMI for my starting weight this time until today. Now I see my starting weight had me in the "morbidly obese" range. The idea makes me feel uncomfortable. However, the good news is today’s weight gets me out of that and puts me just inside the "obese" range. So I haven’t lost much weight yet, but perhaps I have lost an important amount. I do not like even being close to morbidly obese either. To get out of being "obese" into "overweight" I need to be 69.5 kg (153 lb). That is a pretty far off thing. The last time I weighed that much was 17 years ago. OMG. I don't think I want to dwell on these ideas any more now. A closer little goal is 200 lb, then 90 kg. One day I would like to see my boobs stick out further than my stomach again. I think that might be somewhere between 70-80 kg.

Hungry / Uncomfortable
This afternoon I was hungry. I didn’t notice until it was after 5.00. When I noticed, I was feeling hungry and dizzy. I had a glass of lite soya milk and some veges ( a carrot, handful of sugar snap peas, stalk of celery). Maybe part of my discomfort was the heat. Today was 38.2 degree Celsius which is over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. There is only one room in the house with air conditioning, but it is not too powerful, and it is not the room with this computer in it!!! I drank lots of water as usual. Anyway by 6:00 I was falling asleep in front of the computer, despite having 8 hours sleep, so I had a nap in the air conditioning before I got the dinner. Then I felt bad – it was hard to move, hard to think, I had no patience – and I wanted to eat everything I saw. It didn’t last long but I remember that feeling from dieting and not having enough food and ending up quitting. I don’t want that feeling.

So I put everything I could potentially eat on my plan into my dinner tonight. It was massive. I went for a little walk to today but missed my evening walk because I couldn’t eat this big dinner at the same time and I couldn’t wait to eat. A big walk earlier is not an option with this weather, though this is just a mini heat wave. I expect much worse before the summer is finished.

I have been thinking about what I need to do differently tomorrow. Here is my mini plan.

- GO TO BED AT 11:00 NO MATTER WHAT NO MUCKING AROUND. It doesn’t matter that it’s cooler then. It will be cooler in the morning too.

- Put that slice of toast back in my breakfast. Make sure I get all my protein at lunch time.

- Don’t sit at this computer all afternoon when it’s so hot.

I suppose all these muck around meals from Christmas haven’t helped. Even last night was a dodgy meal, probably low in protein and fibre. Also there were 1-2 nights of not enough sleep. Time to get serious about the plan again.


Breakfast ~8:30 2 weetbix, 1/2 C tinned peaches, 1 C soya milk. 1 boiled egg, 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk ½ C tomato juice Lunch ~ 12.00 2 wholemeal Salada crackers (8 squares), with about 80 gm cottage cheese, 1 mushroom, ¼ cucumber, handful of sugar snap peas. ½ C grapes. Dinner: 8:00 150gm lean chicken, 1 small microwaved potato. Giant salad (2-3 C) with 60 gm lite hard cheese, 1/2C bean salad, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, celery, sugar snap peas, carrot, mushroom.1/2 C apricot diet yoghurt Exercise: 10:30 am 20 min moderate pace. Water: 3000ml +Yesterday’s Bedtime: 12:00
On plan:29 days Achieved food target: 25 days Exercised: 20 days All goals: 5 days.

I know how you feel. I let myself go on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Well... it carried on until the day after. Today i am changing myself around. I will start paying attention to my calorie intake. I always tend to give into those urges of eating everyone in site. Good luck.

If I read it right...today is your birthday??? If so, happy birthday!!! Hope it is all well and fun!! That must be a crazy week for you...the holidays AND a birthday?! Wow! I hope you enjoy it immensely!

I love seeing that key word in diaries - 'results'. Nothing will keep a person true to the task ahead like results. I'm even further impressed that you're keeping it real too, 1.2 is a great achievement. I hate seeing people getting discouraged over small numbers.

Keep pressin' on Felici, you're doing great !!

T2 and bm - Thanks for the encouragement. As you know it really makes a difference.

Ellen and Qj - Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Birthday. I had a nice birthday. I didn’t want to go out for it, and this wasn’t a year for a big party (thankfully – I had one last year). However, my kids and husband did what I wanted. I had some nice phone calls - one from an old friend I don’t see too often now. My mum came to see me and we had some afternoon tea – my husband was home early and joined in. I got some nice gifts. I had fun online and got some nice messages.

Walking. I managed two walks today. The morning one was 8:30, I was still stiff and tired for some reason, and it was already a bit warm. Still I did it, so that was good. A sea breeze came in as I finished my walk and the day turned out to be fairly pleasant. It was nice when I went out in the evening but I didn’t have a really long walk because I wanted to play on-line a bit for my birthday. I think that is my first day with two walks.

Food. Well I started off ok, then suddenly realized I hadn’t started on my errands and chores early enough, and ended up working through until 3:00 when my mum arrived. I kind of expected she would suggest coming over here today but wasn’t properly organized in advance. Anyway, I thought I could eat my lunch then if I didn’t get everything finished in time. Also I thought I would buy something sweet – not for me. I went shopping for something sweet – not even knowing what - at lunchtime while I was hungry. Oooomah! I walked into the baked goods areas with my tongue pressed against the back of my top teeth, making it all fat and blocking my salivary glands. Then I thought that I really should have a birthday cake. Oh but if I have a cake and it’s my birthday I should eat some, because it is my birthday. So that means another day I can’t stay on plan. However I didn’t think I needed to eat much. In the end I ate my lunch at 3:00, and finished it with a teeny sliver of carrot cake. Only I didn’t even like the cake! (Too dry.) So I had a very small piece of walnut and apple roll, which I carefully removed the icing (frosting) from. I thought that was ok. I felt really full afterwards though and was happy to not have dinner until quite late. I was pleased to notice that the sugariness wasn’t especially appealing to me. I wasn’t far off plan but I was soooo full. And I was off plan again. This week is a bit tough for that. Saturday is my nephew’s wedding and Sunday night is New Year’s Eve. We have no plans for New Year at present – I kind of hope it stays that way.

Bed. Last night I thought I would be early to bed. Then I thought I should edit an earlier post. Then it was 11:02 – still ok. Except I truly had to do things before I could lay down and relax. I mean I can’t skip going to the toilet. I couldn’t skip putting cream on the rash I had developed that morning. It was boiling hot. I was going to get to sleep faster if I stepped under the shower first. Ok. So if I truly want to make 11:00, I have to get off the computer at 10:45.

Then there’s tonight. I took tonight off. I couldn’t control the time anyway because my son was going to a movie and was going to ring me to get home. Then the start time of the movie changed to a later time. Hmmm. Also I decided that as it’s my birthday I didn’t want to miss having as much fun as possible on my other forum. I still feel okay about that. Also I still want to post here before I go to bed. What I won’t do. I won’t read any posts till morning. Otherwise my bedtime will just as likely turn into 2 ½ hours late instead of 1 hour late.(edit: 1 1/3 hrs late ) I'm not likely to get this sorted until next week am I? LOL)

Breakfast ~7:45 1 slice wholemeal toast, 5gm margarine, 5 gm strawberry jam. 2 weetbix., ½ C tinned peaches, 1 C soya milk. 1 boiled egg, 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk ½ C tomato juice Lunch/Afternoon Tea ~ 3.00 ~1 1/2 wholemeal Salada crackers (6 squares), with about 100 gm cottage cheese, 1 mushroom, ¼ cucumber, handful of sugar snap peas, 1 tomato, a little carrot, a little low fat French onion dip, about 1cm sausage roll, ½ of a ¼” slice of carrot cake, 1 inch apple/walnut roll. 4 cherries, coffee with HiLo milk. Dinner: 9:00 220gm sea bream, olive oil, lime juice, 2 slices wholemeal bread. Giant salad (2 Cups?) with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, sugar snap peas, carrot, mushroom. Exercise: 10:30 am 20 min moderate pace.7:40pm 30 minutes brisk pace. Water: 2500ml +Yesterday’s Bedtime: 11:15
On plan:30 days Achieved food target: 25 days Exercised: 21 days All goals: 5 days.

I did my long walk this morning. Not too early because the weather is ok – but I was up in time just in case. I timed it very carefully for once and walked briskly. It was 39 minutes. I have thought of 2 more ways to add on a little extra, and keep the trees and parks things going. I’d like it to be 45 minutes brisk walk.

I think I actually have my whole brain on board this time. Until the last few years, it never was. For a long time I didn’t actually think there was anything I could do about that. I had the definite feeling that there was a part of me that was sabotaging plans I was consciously fully convinced about. It never really occurred to me that this could be changed.

I complained about it once in front of my boss (who was a psychologist) and he gave me a tape with a kind of meditation on it. You were supposed to relax, get your brain into an alpha state and repeat what you wanted, picture it etc. I wanted too many things to focus I think. Also I found it great for relaxing but was inclined to go to sleep!

Still I think the time I’m spending on here is helping in a similar way. All this diary stuff is imaging, plus it means writing down what I want, that’s a kind of affirmation. It’s definitely getting easier. Finding that I can eat a little sweet stuff from time to time in a controlled way without crashing entirely has really boosted my confidence and has sent my bogeywoman away I think.

Plus I never used to understand ideas like “use a smaller plate”. I would just think “I know it’s smaller” how can that work?. Now I think all those tricksie things are not about tricking my thinking conscious brain. They’re all about keeping that sometimes recalcitrant subconscious on side. I actually went to a psychologist a while back looking for some help to change my eating , but I found that it had already changed in between making the appointment and seeing him. (Didn’t last I’m afraid – another story.). However I think what caused the change, was that in order to make sure I was ready to talk to him, I first wrote down all the things I thought were most relevant, and that kind of flicked the switch.

Ooooh. I was thinking about something else kind of on this topic. I was thinking about how strange it felt the other day, when I realized that after only doing it once, I had automatically gone for the extra bit of my walk, despite consciously deciding not to. I think it’s to do with switching on the right side of your brain. Evidently this side tends to control things you’re not consciously thinking about – like when you drive somewhere you’ve been a lot and don’t really remember the drive, or if you drive somewhere you’re used to going when you planned to go somewhere different. I found I could draw much better with this side of my brain switched on – and lose the improvement the moment I started processing words (ie reading/talking). It’s like automatic, not conscious thinking. In this little art project, the switch was stimulated by copying a drawing that had been turned upside down. The idea is that it discourages you from using ideas you already have about how things look, and allows you to just see them as they are. Anyway thinking about this automatic, unthinking, preprogrammed behaviour made my mind suddenly flash back to a memory of this robotic half-asleep me, feeling I wasn’t properly controlling the hands that were diving into the chocolate box late at night. I’m not trying to say I wasn’t responsible for my eating. I was. Still, this conscious, wordy, left hand side, is very glad to now have a bit more help from the rest of my brain. From the bit that doesn’t write words but seems to be very influenced by the ones I write. Welcome aboard my friend.

I ate on plan for last night’s dinner. But it was too much. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t skimping and setting myself up to fail but I don’t normally eat my full allowance of protein if it’s fish and I really don’t think I needed that much. (Delicious though it was – it would have been still delicious without being enormous). I’m not pregnant now, and I don’t remember eating that much protein even when I was. So today I was not that hungry but thought I should have a full breakfast, only I just forgot some of it. Then come lunchtime I was still not hungry, so I dropped a bit of protein and some of the veges. I made my lunch on time but waited a while to eat. I felt hungry enough then. Maybe I had just been bloated. If I get hungry real early today I will have a few nuts. (Need to put crackers back in car, and add a few nuts!) I guess it will take a bit of experiementing to find the right amounts to eat between the old plan which is a bit too much and the 1100cal one, which too little.

Friday night special dinner. I planned, shopped, cooked. I’m still happy to have taken this task back from my husband. I also took the children out for Friday night take away and my husband was home early and ready to eat early – so I didn’t get to walk tonight. That’s ok. That’s the kind of thing that happens sometimes and is why I walked in the morning!

I didn’t choose very good steak – thick cut round steak – looked good – felt tough - learning experience. Also because it was so thick cut it looked smaller than it was and I ended up not eating all of it.

I made Oysters Kilpatrick. I used lean bacon, and just forked the oysters from the centre, - didn’t try to eat the bacon, or liquid. I was surprised how filling I found it with just 6 oysters, and how I noticed the somewhat oily texture of the sauce.

I made a kind of mushroom sauce to go with the main meal, and added a little zucchini (courgette), and baby squash. I tried to go easy on the oil. I thought heating the oil high first would help, but I think turning it to a gentler heat was more effective. I made a little cornflour sauce. That tasted too bland to me even with pepper and a little lemon, but a couple of tablespoons of low fat yoghurt, and a couple of tablespoons of chopped parsley perked it up nicely.

It’s my nephew’s wedding tomorrow. I don’t intend to try to stick to my plan. I will maybe have a drink. Keep the water jug topped up. Go easy on the hors d’ouvres. Eat a little dessert, not necessarily finish it all. I won’t be able to go to bed on time. I won’t go on the computer after I get home though! I will get my walk in really early tomorrow. I may get a bit of time out in the middle of the afternoon, that’s all. I’m looking forward to it!

Breakfast ~7:45 2 weetbix., ½ C tinned peaches, 1 C soya milk. 1 boiled egg, 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk.Lunch ~ 12:30 ~ 2 wholemeal Salada crackers (8 squares), with about 40 gm cottage cheese, 1 tomato, 1 C watermelon, 1 C coffee with HiLo milk. Snack 5:00 12 raw almonds, 1 salada cracker.Dinner: 8:00 6 oysters with a little bacon. 120 gm lean grilled steak. 1 microwaved potato with low fat yoghurt. 1 1/2 large field mushrooms, ¼ zucchini, ½ baby squash, 6 tspns oil. Salad (1 C with lettuce, tomato, a very little red onion, 2 marinated black olives and balsamic vinegar.) Exercise: 10:30 am 39 min moderate pace. Water: 2500ml +Yesterday’s Bedtime: 12:30
On plan:31 days Achieved food target: 26 days Exercised: 22 days All goals: 5 days.

i admire that you count protein and stuff like that, i can barely count my calories. lol. go ahead and treat yourself to something tomorrow at the wedding. You dont have to deprive yourself completely when your on a diet. It will also keep the cravings down. Myself- a lot of food i used to eat disgust me now because i know how many calories are in them, and i know how it will just turn to fat. Like at Burger king they have a burger with 4 patties in them!!! i used to love it with fries. Now i know it has about 3 days worth of calories in it. I bet you will trust your instincts. You'll know your limit. Just remember to eat what you want, but dont force yourself into finishing anything you dont have room for. Thats my downfall.

Felici -

Once again, you have encouraged me! Thanks so much for stopping by my diary and supporting me! It really does help!!! I appreciate you more than you know!!! "hugs"

I hope you had a great birthday! Wish I would have known, I would've sent you birthday wishes earlier! But here's a Happy Late Birthday for you! LOL

Hope you have a great time at the wedding! Sounds like fun!

Congrats on the weight loss! You are doing great!!!!!

Julie

Thanks for the messages bm and juju. They are very important to me too.

The wedding went well. Nice weather, beautiful bride, happy family. Lots of lovely clothes/ flowers/ surroundings. I had my hair done up and felt happy with my clothes and look. I was a bit surprised when I looked in the mirror and found that I am not actually slim yet!

I was happy about the food. Didn’t miss out anything I wanted, but skipped some of the avoidable fat and sugar. When I knew we were getting apple crumble and cream I thought I would eat the apple, a little topping, and a smidge of cream. When it came it was very fancy, cooked in little individual dishes, with a sphere of icecream on it topped by a squiggle of chocolate decoration, and a separate bowl of cream on the side. It was hard to avoid the topping! It tasted incredibly sweet, too sweet in fact for me now but I got more into it as I ate. The whole thing wasn't very big but I stopped eating before I felt like stopping, telling myself that the wanting to keep going feeling is the one that I need to be firm with. I had a bunch of water afterwards because I thought it wasn't a sensation I wanted lingering, planned a cup of coffee but got distracted by a little dancing and chat and didn't have it.

For Saturday 30 December.
Breakfast ~7:45 2 weetbix., ½ C tinned peaches, 1 C soya milk. 1 boiled egg, 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk.Lunch ~ 12:30 ~ 2 wholemeal Salada crackers (8 squares), with minimal lite hard cheese, 1 tomato, 1 small nectarine. Snacks: 3:15 1 corn chip dipped in salsa, 1 Jatz cracker, 1C white coffee 5:00 4 macadamia nuts 6:45 diet lemonade, half brandy and dry Dinner: 7:15 1 small white bread roll. Pumpkin soup (ate around the cream), a slice of Turkish bread with garlic, a suitable looking grilled sirloin steak, mixed veges, brandy sauce, a little roast potato. Most of a mini apple crumble, about a teaspoon of icecream and smear of cream. A little non-al wine with the toasts. Exercise: 10:30 am 44 min moderate pace.. Water: 2500ml +Yesterday’s Bedtime: 12:30
On plan:32 days Achieved food target: 26 days Exercised: 24 days All goals: 5 days.