Ugh part of being me is doing damage control.

so.


the 'holy shit' is representing my :eekness: that I never took the time to consider the caloric burn total before and it just wowed me.

It in no way, shape or form was meant as a negative nor an unsurmountable number to achieve.

With all the gasping now out of the way, let's put this in perspective. The number - choose one, be it pounds or calories - is only a scoresheet of the task in front of you. The number will not let you fail on your journey, only the mind and lack of determination can do that.

If you have the heart, drive and determination, you will achieve your goal and lose all the weight you desire.

Be patient with yourself and stay focused, you'll get through this sleepy

I don't talk about 'numbers' on my diary much because it's not the big picture, just getting the weight off is the main stage and keeping it off will be the forever reoccurring role. We just have to accept our role and focus on the script we write.

Go get 'em Tiger !!

Dagnabit...

It's the thought that counts Debi

Hey thats what I said too....HOLY SHIT! I am a math/science kinda person...I beleive all things must add up, and this time it did...too much unhealthy food=too much booty The numbers dont mean everything thats for sure, but I am just trying to understand what is happening to the fullest, in and out so on and so forth...I was not really understanding how I was getting bigger and not eating alot...For instance my fav. dish at the local mexican place is over 1200 calories. that I NEEDED to know! I feel I like I eat more now for half the calories...Anyhow your comment didnt come across as negative Thanx for the encouraging post!

...I think I use too many smilies

Nope - you don't use too many smilies - the software will tell you when you do

Today was full of obsticals...but I did ok. I was however pretty dissapointed when one of the pedals on my cycle blew out so to speak...The bearring was worn out, So I got about an hour in before it started click clacking and then finally didnt even wanna turn So Jay (hubby) put an old bicycle pedal on it and all is well again. Except they dont match!oh well at least it works again...I did about 2 and a half hours of cario , I guess I will hit the cycle for a few more minutes, while it works! I wonder if I wore it out or its just crappy like that

So it comes with a smile warning huh? cool

Oh yeah, you hit 10 smilies and you get the boom!

Sorry to hear about your bike pedal - what a Pain!

OMG!I had to test your theory...I see you have truly attempted this feat!

LOL!

Told you!

I suppose I have alot yet to learn about this misteriouse place

Day 17...I am still on track, I amaze myself I think part of my success is my seclusion.I dont have to work or even deal with people or temptation(perks of marrage to an older man )However I have hardly left my house since last summer. Not something I regularly admit too, I won't even go to the grocery store! I have been once in the last three weeks...Its reallly funny how I have become so reclusive, especially since I have been big all my life and it never bothered me until I lost the weight and gained so much of it back. Here I am almost 80 pounds lighter than my highest weight and I seriously cannot bear to leave my yard much less look in the mirror I live in a very small town, and I have one of those BIG last names that superficially still means something around here. I cant go anywhere without people knowing me my mom and the last 3 generations af grandparents and great grands.(not to mention the stalker x boyfriend)I am seriously considering moving away, but my mom is here, and she is single...I'm not sure if I want to leave her, we are pretty close. My husband thinks I am cracking up, and It really is affecting who I am. I just feel like my life is on hold because of how I look, I know this doesnt make any since...I just don't know know how to change.And the scary part is, even at 140 I thought I looked like a monster Anyway I have no idea why I am writing all this, I guess I just needed to let off some steam...The good thing is I have been here with Jay since I was 18...and this is the longest I have spent in one place by far...and the most security I have ever had. Seven years in peace, and compared to my childhood I am literrally in HEAVEN! So in a sence this is my happy ending, I'm just not happy with myself...

Hey Hon,
Many Hugs to you!

Know that these feelings will pass - I think it's normal for us all to get down from time to time - we're going through a lot in this weight loss journey - and it's not always roses...or maybe it is...since roses have thorns.

Remember, you are NOT your weight. Your weight is a snapshot of a moment in time and you are working your ass off to change that.

That's what counts.

You're working towards your goals and that's HUGE!

it helps a lot toget it down on paper - to try to make some sense of it - or at least to start breaking it down into parts that you can dosomethig about...


Not being happy with yuorself is something many many many go thru - and it's not an easy thing to get out of... go slowly - start reminding yourself of your good qualities... and even harder, start believing them...

Once you get into one place, it's hard to leave but baby steps one day at a time will get you to whre you really want to be... if you want to get there...

Thanx M2M Thanx Mal...this is just definatly one of those days Not that I am losing sight, just feeling low...I try to be a positive persone but every now and then life catches up to me, and slaps me in the face...
To top off my gloriouse day I was out in the garden and found my new pet softshell turtle dead in the goldfish pond...I knew she was sick when I got her and I thought I could help her out I guess not...My hubby bought from some guy down the street he had about 20 of em in a dirty tub of water, he was trying to sell them for the local cooder festival race(deep south here ) anyway knowing they are water turtles and that they were just gonna die he bought a male and a feamale, They both had skin infections from not being able to dry in the sun some...none the less shes a gonner and I have to explain this to my 4 year old I hope the male makes it...I might just go and buy the rest of em...if any are still alive