Patience is hard one - it comes with practice. You'll find it.
And you need to be good to yourself along the way.

What you *weigh* is only a snapshot in time - it's not who you are - you're much, much more!

Hugs to you,

Yes well said M2M - your weight doesnt define you aand you are beautiful inside and out no what what shape or size you are

I can really relate to being tuned out to how you look and then getting some paranoia after that tuned outness is gone.

This is about so much more than just appearance though. Control is a big thing to have and without it nasty things happen to our bodies. Some of us, maybe me, have waited until the nasties have done permanent damage before we start to turn things around. It's hard to believe that it could happen to you in advance and hard to believe that you let it happen afterwards.

I felt totally impatient in my first month too. Mind you I had only lost about 6 pounds!! The longer you keep up those one-day-at-a-time, one-week-at-a-time steps of staying on track, the closer you will get to knowing that you can handle the whole thing, and that it's ok for it to take as long as it takes.

You are in such a great position to fix things for yourself now and I love the energy you are putting in to this.

Thanx cerelly we are all doing better, just some of lifes set backs...
Thank you Debi...I hope I dont have to look at this current snapshot very long

Yes I must agree...Its seems the newest thing I need to control would be my emotions, I seem to be letting them run away with me I have got to come to terms with time, I am just reluctant to wait...however what controll have I over time?


You guys are soooooo great! I needed to read these words, my hubby is bugging me to go the local air show tomorrow and I kept telling him no. I am gonna go and just get over myself, I cant let my family suffer because of my emotional of physical self destruction. It certainly is no fault of theirs

im paranoid about my looks too now ive lost most of it, im paranoid that i could have found better clothes! im such a clothes horse these days

Well done on being brave enough to go!! Being active is a good thing and being active away from home will help build your confidence and help you become stronger. There will be times when that extra inner strength will help you achieve other things you want.

wishes - there's a lot of that about!! It seems that a little extra self consciousness about our appearance goes with this weight loss territory! (It's not all bad though, is it?! )

Good Morning Sleepless

YES - getting out and about and enjoying your FAMILY is a good thing. If you focus on what you're not happy with too much it becomes obsessive.

Part of this journey is simply becoming healthy - and part of becoming healthy is letting go of this negativity we carry around.

Life is too short - too friggin short - to spend it not enjoying it - to miss the pleasure and enjoyment in being with your family and being out and about.

Live your life like no one's watching hun, because when it's all done and said - no one else's opinion matters much but your own!

Make it a good weekend

Wow m2m I can take some of that advice myself...thanx...

M2M speaks good words - enjoy yourself and be with your family...we can hide but forever all we can do is work hard at changing what we dont liek which you are doing one step at a time...this journey is looong but well worth it and look at all teh friends you have made and all the progress so far!!! Be very proud fo yourself...and I think you and I should start a Tae Bo club - I need to start doing it agian!!! Chin up butter cup - you deserve the best start acting liek it!!!

well wishes you look so great! You deserve to go buy whatever tickles your fancy! And besides even in rags you will look so fit and great now!

You always give the greatest advice and it comes with good feeling.I cant thank you enough or anyone else here really. When I log in and read I feel I have been to a pep rally

Thank you feleci and cerelly...I hope you guys all had a great weekend!

Well I wish I could say we had a great time at the air show, but It just didnt go that way...Near the end of the show one of the blue angels crashed right down the road.The pilot was killed...thank God noone else has died but there are at least 8 people in the hospital with injuries.
To start the day off we were at a red light trying to get on base and a police officer was yelling out if your going to the airshow go straight...finally he goes between cars asking are you going to the airshow, my window was partially down and the radio was on low so when he looked my way I just smiled and nodded yes...he then yells that is not an answer and got seriously rude...at wich point I informed him that he nor I were military personal and I had reason to address him any particular fashion.I mean honestly what if my window had been up? Or what if like my grandmother I was a deaf mute, non the less he didnt expect us to sit there and tell him like it was but I got an opology...I just got so pissed because my 4 year old had to see this cop being a total asshole, I mean they are supposed to be the good guys right?
It took over an hour just to get on base, then we had to go through metal detectors and pat downs to get in, then they checked us again and again. Later I was trying to get my little girl to the rest room(porto john ) and had my arms full of things we had purchased clinging on to her and her baloon we cut across a small parking lot because she really had to go. She fell and scraped her knees and hands and was crying a little so I was tending to her and here they come to serch the bags and check us out again all the while my daughter HAS to go...GREAT
Then to top it all off my hubby bought me a visor due to the sun killing us out there on the giant runway and I had it pulled down too low apparently and ran into an airplain something or other and had a huge goosegg on my foehead...OUCH!

I have tried to give good rep to at least 3 ppl! why cant I?????
how much do I have to spread around

I know it i stupid sometimes - they tell you , you cant give rep because you need to spread more first but you cant spread more because it wont let you give rep...

What a day!! It kind of fits in with the way other things have been rather dramatic around you lately. I'm glad you put your point of view to the rude cop and actually got an apology. I don't know about you but it really knocks me around to be the target of undeserved rudeness. How terrible that there was actually an crash and a death at that show. I'm guessing it wasn't close to you, but still... a crash at an air show must surely be a rare thing and ghastly to witness. I hope you are feeling ok now you are home.


About the rep. I think you have to give it to about 5 other people before you can give it to any particular person again. That's just my impression. I understand you being frustrated because I often have the same problem.

Yes Felici I have had my share of drama this year...I am ready for everything to just chill out! I have been attending the airshow since I was a little girl and never witnessed any tragedies...the plane went down behind some near by trees after tumbling thru the air...then a huge cloud of smoke and one of the planes stayed and circled the crash so the rescuers could find it quickly.
It was a heartbreaker for everyone there...but accidents like that are uncommon so I beleive we will all be right back next year cheering them on

As far as the rep...that stinks because I dont really talk to too many people on here...maybe 5 maybe not

Ya I dont get it - cheer up hun - things well get better - however when I hear this I never really believe it...lol - we've had a pretty rough 3 - 5 years...lol...but slowly things are lookingup...

Anyway just hang in there - Im sorry I dont have alot of positivity at the moment - one of the reasons Im not really visiting diaryies lately...anyway...you will get there