ok so i am starting my very own diary....this is scary... I lost 150 pounds and then got sick and gained 45 back so i am depressed and dissapointed in myself but i am starting over today! I am so tired of dissapointing myself! I tend to let my whole life depend on my weight, lately i am becoming reclusive over it I dont want to go out i feel like everyone is staring at me and i dont even want my friends and family to look at me...i know they are all thinking (well she is gaining all the weight back! soon she will be just as big as ever!) why am i doing this to myself?!?

today is the first day of the rest of your life. you've done it before -you can do it again..

Your friends and family aren't thinking that at all- they might be concerned that you aren't happy with yourself... You are more than your weight...

thank you for the encouragement i sure need it, i am more than my weight but sometimes that is impossible for me to see...i am new to this web site and so far it is the coolest ive ever seen , something i really really need! thank you again!

Try and look at it this way - that's still 105lbs lighter than you were before And if you managed to lose all that weight before, you can definitely do it again with the support of this forum! I'm new here as well, and I agree that it seems brilliant - really encourgaing and motivating.

I hope you can realise that however much you weigh, you're the same person, and people like you for you! Good luck, you will get to where you want to be

well I havent really thought of it that way! yeah Im 105 pounds less! and hopefully getting back on track again! It just seems like something really clicked when i lost the weight before...wish I knew how to make it click again! I have sure gained som great advice and encouragement from this forum today! ive never been open and talked about my weight before, and it really does take a load off. of course i have had countless people tell me i was fat but none have had any advice as to how or why or words of encouragement....as a child i wasnt tought anything about nutrition or excersize just that i was toooooooooo fat! when thats what a child knows they begin to feel like that is all they are or ever could be! after all our children only know what we teach them...

sooooooo all ive had today is peanuts and salad what do i do to stop from eating the rest of the holiday hammmmmmmm?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Hi and welcome.

You need to eat more than just peanuts and a salad silly!

Try having 1 slice of ham with some carrots to sastisfy your craving. =)

peanuts and salad... The ham aint a bad thing just don't slice a big texas steak out of it. a little on a salad prob wont be too bad other than it will hard to figure into a diet. Try some more veggies or something.

I know its not smart to starve ones self, but it seems the more I eat the hungrier I get! And hillbilly dont even get me started on steak! LOL!

What did you eat that worked before? 150 lbs is a wonderful loss. I don't suppose you did it by starving. I have never heard of that happening.

I think there is a switch in me too - "bad eating felici" *click* "healthy eating felici". I think it takes activity to move my switch. I don't know about you. You could try just eating right for a day, or writing more about yourself here - maybe tell us more about your reasons for wanting to change - or about what your goals are - or what you think will work for you. Or give someone else some advice. I bet you know heaps about what can work. You might remind yourself about something that has helped you. (That happened to me). Are you planning to exercise? Maybe you could do a little today? After you've had a proper meal maybe you want to restock your pantry a little? I hope that doesn't sound like a prescription or to do list. I don't mean it to be. Only I have worried a lot about how to click my own switch! Maybe by starting your diary you have already turned yours on and just need a little time to gain confidence.

I bet you will be a stayer. I'm looking forward to seeing your diary some more. Lots of luck to you.

I appreciate all advice and encouragement...no I didnt lose by starving but I didnt eat anything I liked In fact I have a terrible hard time eating anything healthy, my mother was a buisness woman/artist and she never cooked and was always gone, so I have many bad eating habbits I have fallen back into, as a child I ate cereal ect all the time so I really dont have a taste for fruits and veggies. I lost the weight by excersizing like I didnt even know I could...I started out so small...just moving my arms ect and was working out 3 hrs a day by my lowest weight of 140...I lost the weight in a year but I had started taking diet pills 4 years ago after my daughter was born. Next thing I know I was taking them all day, going days without sleep. So I decided to quit...cold turkey....I had no idea what the reprocussions would be after that i spent 6 months in and out of the hospital, they were convinsed i had multiple sclarosis and I did suffer from several seizures, well it was all a result of dt's delerium tremors, just like a heroin addict or worse. I didnt even know it was the pills I was craving, I had even stopped drinking sodas at the same time! caffine withdrawles can be as bad as any!Then I was prescribed at least 20 different steroids and blood pressure med muscle relaxers anti inflamatories and this is when the weight started back. I have gained 45 pounds since august. But I stopped taking all of it now and I have stopped gaining. But I just dont feel strong, in fact I feel weaker than ever.
But I did 30 min of cardio yesterday and ate peanuts a salad and a chicken wrap from subway so.....here I go again! I think I can I think I can! I hope I can.... I have been big all of my life I was 200 pounds by 15! and grew and grew till I was 23 or so...My biggest fear is that I will be a big fat mom and dissapoint my daughter! I want to be the kind of mom she can do things with and be proud of!

SC the dt's I remember them well. After my third back surgery and they pulled me off the narcotics it wasn't a fun three days.

Veggies and fruits aren't bad. I got to where I just tried different veggies and some I liked some I didn't

Fruit I found I'm not crazy about about the sweet taste so I salt most of my fruit and I like it much better with a sour kick.

Just try new things, some you will like and some you will hate.....

thanx hillbilly....and I know how backpain goes...I am going to the chiropracter 3xs a week still and hoping I will not have to have surgury myself. Im gonna keep trying the healthy stuff...I have always loved watermelon with salt on it!!! You have lost alot of weight good luck and keep it up, I was reading in ur diary... ....I have an attraction to jack daniels myself.... ....


Anybody kno just how bad coffee is??? Im not sure....but I drink about 4 cups in a day...too much i suppose, the doctor told me to drink coffe and moutain dew and then wein myself off, lol...not doing so good on the weining off!!! I dont drink much soda anymore but the coffee seems like a must have.) Is this a big hindrance in my weight loss???

I hope you do great on your life change. I also didn't grow up eating a whole lot og veggies. It's hard for me to eat them, but I am trying. One thing I
've learned is that it curbs my hunger to put food that isn't appealing to me on my plate.Suddenly I'm just eating enough to live, rather than living to eat!!

this is true....i only need to think of a banana and all hunger turns to blaaaa but my hubby is very fit and eats the worst! and brings home goodies for me all the time!Reeses ect, he thinks im fine, but i dont feel fine!
Ive been throwing the choclates away when hes not looking!!!