i even did better i had chicken breasts marinated in soya sauce with half of my veggies cooked and half fried in pan where i cooked meat. and that was it yippi for me. for dinner i'll have mixed salad with olive oil and lemon.

i just feel positivity entering my every pore. gotta remember this feeling.

Hey Lena,
Looks like you're doing pretty well. I love how you vent and express your anger, pent up anger and emotions definitely lead to being overweight.

Keep up the good work.

thanx change since holding up anger is my number 1 problem i thought it would be the best thing for me to do. i'm realizing that i need to focus on expressing emotions on other ways than food. and so far so good i got this idea of venting on a forum in croatia where a girl started a thread on "what you wanted to say to someone but couldn't" and i tried it and it felt sooo good.
and writing this diary and reading others is really relaxing me. anything to keep out of the refrigirator lol

hugs to all
Lena

ok venting time.... god some people can really make me angry. how can people be so full of malice and evil thaughts????? i have a colleague here at work who started losing weight on Montignac diet an all. and someone was saying how we both will be very pretty when we lose weight. i said off course we will. and you know waht she said??? I KNOW I WILL, FOR YOU I DON'T KNOW!!! with some kind of evil smile. HER OF ALL PEOPLE! SO MUCH FOR SUPPORT.
why?? what am i a loser or something? i didn't say anything because i didn't want any conflict. and she doesn't know that i'm also dieting. and now i'm glad she doesn't. she would probabily rub it to my face if i eat something she finds fattning.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANTED TO SLAP HER IN THE FACE!. THAT B##$*!!
I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW. BUT I WON'T GIVE IN.

And the started so nicely...

i forgot to kick the wall with my boots *kicking the wall several times and cursing at it*

that's much better...

How rude!

That's ok, she'll be one of those that quits after a month or so and gains everything back, and you can flaunt your thin self in front of her all you want!

thanx txt yeah i can see that happen lol even though she's already on this diet for a month and losing weight. i'm gonna be a better person than her and say she will lose weight but i'll lose more and look better then she ever will

Lena

You already look better than she does - everything good and wonderful from the inside shows through to the outside of who you are! I can't wait to see how you smoke her in the end, though! *slightly evil laugh*

lol txt thank you sooo much. i needed to read this. today really isn't my day. i just weighed myself and i have lot more than i thought. i thought i had 95 kg and i have 107. the thing is, two months ago i did have 95, and i still wear the same clothes, some of it is even loose. so i really don't get it. anyway came here to weep instead of the fridge. and i know i should be proud of myself anyway because i didn't react by eating today at all.

which ever force is trying to test me, well guess what... stuff your test you know where. i'm not going down that road ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lena

i feel like crying right now... god i hate days like this one. i have such urge to open the fridge and eat everything in it. but that won't comfort me will it? what will comfort me is months and months away.
even though i'm sad i know i have a goal for the first time in my life. the girl who gained all this weight will no longer be. i refuse to let her come to the surface. she had her time. i need to prepare for my 15 minutes.
ii think i need some words of encouregment.

ok good day today... i feel a bit better, especially because i didn't emotionally eat yesterday. and that was so new for me. i don't think i ever did that in my entire life. am emotional eater since i was 3 and a half, and it just got worse after that (being abused, which i remembered only recently and my dad's alcoholism).

so for me not to emotionally react to things yesterday was a huge step. i should reward myself tomorrow with something since evrything is closed here today because of the holiday. what can reward myself with and it isn't food or clothes?? gotta think this one through...

i forgot to write my meals today... just to keep track

breakfast: kellogs with low fat yogurt) - around 250cal
snack: well i had to decaf coffees with low fat milk and bit of brown sugar so no snacks necessary
lunch: steemed fish and potato salad (potato and onions with little olive oil and wine vinigar) - that was around 400 cal
snack: one large apple and one clementine
dinner: two hard boiled eggs, one medium size tomato, two tbspoons of low fat cottage cheese and two pices of feta chese (that was around 400 cal)

so i did goog but i didn't do any exercise. i'm still abit sick.

hugs to everyone Lena

well its sunday and i'm on one side looking forward to tomorrow and dredding it on the other hand. tomorrow i'm joining aerobics class (probabily tae bo) and i'm so scared and embarassed. i know you understand. i'm so afraid that tehre will only be these fit people who will look at me like i'm from mars.
i know i gotta make that step.

well its d day i'm a bit nervous to go to my first aerobics class ever. yesterday i spent 30 minutes on my eclyptical. youldn't believe it. i could have done more, but i didn't want to overdo it.

breakfast: kellogs special with law fat yogurt
snack: yogurt and 4 wheat cakes
lunch: vegetables with some rice and 3 and a half thin chicken breasts filets
(they were a small, but i hope i didn't have to much. i didn't stuff myself)

dinner: probabily will have some salad an hour before i go to my aerobics class. its a bit late, at 8.30pm. and i'm usually in bed by 10, 10.30pm.

Hi Lena, Just thought I'd drop by your diary and see how you are. Looks like you are doing great. I think you are doing much better than me with keeping up the activity. I hope aerobics went okay, I know it's not easy to hop around in front of people. :-)

Keep going!