Well today was once again my first day of working towards a better and healthier life. I have done this many times before, but after a month and 10lbs I get side tracked and quit. I don't want this to happen again. Staying on track is one of my main goals. I got to make this a habbit.

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and being unhappy with what I see. I have hit the highest weight I have ever been in my life and it scares that crap out of me! I don't want this Jenny to keep on living like this. I know the old and healthier me is some where deep down inside of me.

Yes it's true I use to be healthy and what I thought was skinny. Ya I did have my big thighs, but I wasn't 194lbs!!!! I miss my old body. My sister used to envy me because I was smaller than she was. That I had a flat tummy. Now I am bigger than she is and my 8 yearold cousin this past summer asked me if there was a baby in my tummy . I was so upset when I heard that. I wasn't mad at my little cousin for saying that to me...I was angry at myself for letting myself get to the point where I looked like that.

I'm SICK of this. I'm fedup! I don't want to be this "Jenny" anymore. I want the old me back. Today I have decided it's time to take control of my life again and search for the real inner and outer me.

This time will be the last time I do this. The reason why I say last is because I am going to finish what I started and come out a winner or looser persay. lol

For christmas I got the new My Chemical Romance CD the black parade. In the first song there is a verse where it says:
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see. You can find out first hand what it's like to be me. So gather round piggies and kiss this goodbye. I'd encourage your smiles, I'll expect you won't cry.

I am kissing my weight goodbye. I don't like what I see in my mirror everyday. And I'm sure that any of you who hate that reflection as much as I do then you know what it is like to be me.

So here we go people take a long and good look at me because by the time I am done I will truely be a new me!

This is where I started too. There isn't a day that's gone by where I relaxed that very thought. I hope it serves you in the same capacity as it did me, it truly is a great motivator and an excellent starting point.

Best of luck to you.

Hi

I started my self yesterday as I feel I have gone to far the wrong way.
Wish you the best.

Rob