Well it is now 3pm and I am still going strong with my first few big steps to a better and healthier me. I haven't done my exercise yet today but that is next on my to do list. Last night I took my mom's camera and took pictures of myself (which i hardly ever do) They are on my computer now and I think ever other we or something I will take another picture to mark my progress. I've seen some of the before, during, and after pictures and I feel very positive that someday that will be me.

I think my mom knows about my decision from yesterday about my weight. We haven't discussed it yet and I would like to keep it that way. She wants to be supportive and I am happy to have it, but it's hard getting advice from someone that isn't or hasn't gone through this process. It's like she knows anything and everything about how to lose weight and she's like you need to do this and this is how you do this. Then she's like we can start walking together or with someone else in my family, but the minute I want to get up and go walk they all say they don't feel like it and then I don't have a walking buddy.

Sometimes I just want to lose all this weight to make my mom shut up...lol but I know that, that is not the right reason for wanting to lose weight. I am doing this for me...no one else. Sure I want this to make others be proud of me but I want me to be proud of me.

Last night I watched the new Lifetime movie "to be fat like me" I related so much to that movie. It fits the fat profile so well. Sometimes I think that all skinny people that mock fat people and whatnot need to put on a fat suit and see how hard it really is to be fat or overweight.

Well I'm off for now. I got things I gotta do and people to see...lmao.


Jenny

Sounds like we are on the same path.

Family wants to be supportive, but it just comes across wrong sometimes. No one knows what its like to walk in our shoes.

I'm glad you are here, seems like we have similar weights & are starting around the same time. Maybe we can encourage each other to push through the hard times... on to where the outside us is the same as the one we know we are.

Good luck! I look forward to hearing more about your progress.

Hi Jenny,
I'm glad to see you started a diary here

You're absolutely right - you can only do this for yourself. Feeling good about yourself is a great gift that you can give to you as well as to the people in your life.

Try not focus on having a walking buddy - I tend to think they're over rated and we get too dependent on them.

When I have one, it's great for a time, but then I'm slowed down a bit, or kept waiting or on their schedule. Walking has become My Time and I love that

Just remember, you CAN do this - it's one day and one pound at a time!

Thanks for the support. Right after my last post I did my gymball workout dvd. Man using that thing is harder than I would ever imagine it would be. I'm not discouraged though. Ya there are a few things on the dvd that I have a hard time doing and a few things that I can't even do. But I am going to keep at it. I actually might just totally forget about the dvd and use the book that came with it. the dvd moves way to fast. so maybe I should just do things at my own pace and do the things I think I can do and not the things I can't do just quite yet.

My inner thighs have been sore since yesterday afternoon. I guess that's a good sign. Now that I know of what my workout is going to consist of I need to figure out my food situation. I love food so much...the food part isn't gonna be easy for me. All I know is that water is the big key...

You can do fine with the food - when in doubt, pop over to Maleficent's diary and read her daily food log - she has an amazing and varied diet!

Have you checked out Free Diet Plans at SparkPeople ? It's a good resource for tracking calories, nutrition and fitness - they also have some good recipes.

I tend to be a 'basic' kind of food preparer...I tend to have the same thing for breakfast almost every day, similar things for lunch, and for dinner, I'll cook up some meat and throw it and a bunch of vegies into a huge salad.

What I needed to get away from was snacking/grazing and the concept that every dinner had to have a blob of starch, i.e., mashed potatoes, rice, pasta, etc.

I also have to eat every 3 hours or so - if I don't I get really snacky and well, that's ugly